


Immortal Portrait

by RedheadShenanigans



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angels, Angst, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Completed, Fluff, Foreplay, Funny, Gun Violence, Happy Ending, M/M, Mystery, Other Gods - Freeform, Reincarnation, Smut, Soulmates, Timeline Shenanigans, Vampires, bdsm in smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 65,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedheadShenanigans/pseuds/RedheadShenanigans
Summary: Dean is an Engineering major at MIT who is annoyed and confused. Someone is using his face without his permission and he is going to find out why. Charlie his hilarious BFF is determined to help track this person down.Cas, an art major at Harvard, has a curse. Once an angel now a vampire, well, kinda. He's doomed to roam the earth chasing the other half of his soul. Tagging along is his sarcastic and annoying sidekick Balthazar.The first incarnation and the love of his life is haunting his dreams. So his muse puts it to canvas. That chiselled face with perfect green eyes and sculpted jaw are his labour of love and tomorrow the gallery opens.Will this incarnation hold love or pain?As usual, it's crazy, angst, smut, fluff, drama, love, soul mates, funny hilarious banter! Even if you don't like vampires read it, it's such a tiny part of it!





	1. Dreaming of Dean

Dean walked slowly through the quad admiring the grey February day in Massachusetts. The route took him the same way every Tuesday, right past the media block. The air was cold and there was snow on the ground and he loved it. The crisp cool air, seeing his breath fog out; Winter was awesome.

Technically it was the spring semester and soon the plants would grow and the snow would melt. When it was white like this, it felt new and fresh. As if anything could happen. His boots crunched as they hit the ground, the vintage leather dealing well with the cold. Flakes of snow melted into his slim fit black jeans which tucked into thick thermal socks. Three layers of clothing were keeping him warm including, a t-shirt, an MIT hoodie and a parka. It was the only reason he wasn’t freezing to death. His brother had picked the parka, it was a dark shade of khaki with a ridiculous hood. There was fake-fur and everything, Dean thought it made him look like a hipster. Adding in the high cut ankle boots with the laces half open and he could have been on the cover of hipster weekly. Sam reminded him that as much as he denied it, vintage boots, retro rock bands and movie t-shirts made him more hipster geek than he wanted to admit. His little brother was at art school in New York. The guy had an eye for vintage fashion. Technically his thing was music but his girlfriend was a fashion major and she taught him this stuff. So, Dean let him pick the damn parka, he smiled to himself as he buried his face in his scarf, he totally made it look awesome. 

The fingerless gloves had him rubbing them together and he shoved his hands in his coat pockets. The hood of the coat and that of the hoodie were both keeping his ears from falling off. Yeah, he liked the parka. 

The route skimmed close to an advertising board where he did a double take. A few steps past it his mind clicked and he slammed to a halt. The boots objected to the sudden stop and tried to gain purchase on the frozen ground. Thankfully for him, they managed it and quit looking like Bambi pretty fast. Glancing around to check for onlookers he sighed, no one had seen his impromptu ice ballet, thank god. Not that he cared but you know… 

It was early and he was alone under the dull sky. As he approached the poster, yep, it got weirder. The offending item was an A3 size advertisement for an art show, a student at Harvard's project. Harvard wasn't that far away and it wasn't usual for things to be displayed on campus. He examined it, brushing off the snow that had accumulated on the paper. It was a three layer shot. One was a bright green eye, a close-up. The next pouting, full lips and the third was a face. A very familiar face, one he knew because he looked at it every day in the mirror. He was staring at a stunning oil portrait of himself. 

Confusion coursed through his veins. He’d never posed for anything in his life. Maybe it was from a picture? The title was obscured from view so he pulled the sheet down. It said; ‘Castiel Novak presents his series of stunning portraits: 'Just a dream’. Further down there was a quote from the artist, 'I dreamt about him and then I painted him. I’ve never met him and as far as I know, he doesn’t exist.' On the very bottom, it gave the time and location of the showing. It was on for three weeks at the college and of course, he had to go. Dean existed and this guy was getting an ear full of grief. How dare this person use his face an not ask him? He’d show Castiel Novak who was real. Damn right he would. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Charlie whispered when she saw the poster. Dean had waited until they met at the cafeteria before class to show her because he'd wanted to see her reaction. 

“That is… it’s you. It not just similar, it’s you. The scar on your head, it’s right there dude look!” she said pointing at the picture like he hadn’t memorised every single brush stroke already. Taking the paper from her he stared at it again. It was definitely there, the scar he'd got from falling off his bike as a kid, the white line was prominent. 

“He’s probably lying. I mean, Harvard is five minutes away, we could have mutual friends online or something?”

She frowned at him, “Have you checked?”

Dean looked at his phone, “No.” 

Charlie took hers out, “I’m doing some research. Like right now. This too weird.” 

“Yeah.” Opening his phone to the main screen he smiled. It revealed a picture of him in his football jacket with his arm around Charlie. She stood grinning in her shorts and Deadpool t-shirt combo from summer. It always made him smile, the sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. They'd done nothing but chill and eat on the campus lawn all afternoon, it had been such a good day. Sipping his flat white he started scrolling through every form of social media he owned. Novak’s name popped up but no picture’s of the man himself or Dean’s portrait. The guys' profile picture was an artsy shot of painting supplies and the rest was locked down with security settings. They had no mutual friends or groups but that didn’t mean anything. Maybe he’d seen him around? After all, they could have gone to the same bar or party? Or he had a photographic memory? Or had taken a picture of him or take one from his profile? Yeah, that was more likely. Hell, Dean was on both the football and track teams, there were pictures of him all over the place. The adrenaline and confusion ebbed a little at the logic. Yeah, they guy had copied a picture, must have. 

“Anything?” Dean asked his redhead friend. 

“Nope. His stuff is locked down tight and after that mishap, the one I had in summer, I have to be careful. You know they’re watching.”

It sounded ridiculous and paranoid but it was true

Dean laughed, “Mishap?” as he raised his eyebrow at her, “That's what we’re calling you hacking the CIA?” 

She shrugged and sipped her Cinnamon latte, “It was an accident!”

Dean scrolled through his feed, “No dude. Walking into a door is an accident. Hacking a government agency is... not.”

“He shouldn’t have provoked me.” She scowled, "That professor drives me insane.” 

“He told you it was impossible.” Dean chuckled, “I don’t think he was daring you or provoking you Charles.” 

She grinned, “Maybe…” then shrugged, “But it means I can't use my superpowers for a while. They have me on lockdown.” 

“You’re lucky you even have the Internet.” 

“I have to for my course, you know that. 

“Computer nerds R US. Yeah, I know.” He grinned.

“Says you. The one who already has a job lined up with freaking NASA and we’re only in the second year.” 

Dean tried not to blush, “Shut up. You know that's not guaranteed.” 

“Lies Winchester, lies. I’ve seen the letters, they want you and there’s no way you're not getting the grades. You’re one of the smartest people I know.” 

Grinning, Dean finished his coffee, “So you coming with me tomorrow to this thing? They open at ten and I don’t have anything till two?”

She nodded, “Sure. I’m seriously curious. 

“It’s nine. I have to go to Thermal, we doing lunch?”

“Could you be any gayer right now?”

“Not gay.” He frowned. 

“Sorry” she rolled her eyes, “’Hetero-flexible.’ Though, I would like to highlight, once again. That just because you don’t like the label, sleeping with both genders - almost equally - makes you closer to Bi than you like.” 

Scowling he put his phone down, “People can say what they like. I don’t like the labels. I-”

She finished for him, having heard it a thousand times. “-You know who you are. You shouldn't have to slap labels all over yourself simply to make other people more comfortable… I know.” 

Dean grinned, “I say that a lot huh?”

She laughed, “Yes my friend, you do but that’s okay. I still love you. 

“However, as your token gay friend I’m still going to highlight that ‘do lunch’ is hella gay as the rules of gaydom command.'' 

“You're so weird. So we are doing lunch?” he laughed. 

Rolling her eyes she stood and grabbed her pack, “Yes you gorgeous idiot, we’re doing lunch. We always do lunch.”

“It’s pie day. I’m excited already.”

“How can someone so smart be so simple?”

“Oi!” he laughed

“That’s my cue, gotta go!”

She ran away playfully, waving as she did. 

Charlie was his absolute best friend. At twelve her parents had an awful accident and she was orphaned. Dean’s parents had taken her in. She was his BFF and his little sister. Charlie was the one who got him interested in all things tech and had pushed Sammy into Art school. He’d wanted to be a lawyer but she’d convinced him to go with his heart and not his head. Sam was too kind for the law, it would have made him hard in his soft places; Dean shuddered at the thought. His brother was the person who fed the homeless on his days off or raised money for charity. No, they were all exactly where they should have been. 

The walk to class had his brain buzzing. Still holding the A3 paper in his hand and he examined it again. It was kinda flattering he supposed, someone dedicating a whole art show to his face. That one picture of his lips looked amazing, the detail was… intense. 

Running his fingers over his lips had him deep inside his head so when someone called his name he jumped a mile. 

“Hey, Winchester.” The short blonde called as he turned into his lecture hall.

“Meg, dude. Sup?” he replied catching his breath and trying to get his heart rate under control.

“Nothing, you seen my girl?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, she’s already in class.”

“Ah shit, I was hoping to catch her. Never mind. Lunch?”

“Yeah, same time. Same place. Oh, Masters?” He called as she walked away.

“Yeah?”

“Tell Kevin? You know how he gets lost in his stuff, he needs to eat. Ash too!”

“Sure, will do. Laters!”

Dean smiled and took his seat. His small group of friends were awesome and he liked how they all accepted each other, no drama. Sitting at the front of the hall, Dean tried to focus but his mind kept slipping to the picture in his binder. Thankfully, he knew this stuff inside out. So when the professor called him to answer a question he didn’t even need to think about it. Chastising his wondering brain he drove focus back into the room and eventually the mystery of the portrait fell to the back of his mind.


	2. Bloody Angel

Cas yawned and rolled over in bed. Nine in the morning sucked. To him, it felt like three; like the middle of the night. Humans and their ridiculous day schedules, it would be the death of him. Laughing at the irony, he picked up his phone. The sun caught his wrist and out of habit he flinched. It had been a few hundred years since sunlight had harmed him in any meaningful way, now only the brightest and most prolonged exposure would damage his skin. It was uncomfortable but not painful; like wearing shoes that were a little too tight. The reaction as no more harmful to him than to humans, the only difference was his eyes. The sun hurt, so without cloud cover, he always wore sunglasses. 

The smartphone had several notifications, one in particular caught his attention. The event’s tag showed that his paintings had over a hundred people planning to attend. Opening night was going to be crazy, thanfully it was less of an event than big galleries. The space was open from 10am tomorrow so that people could filter in. Excitement and dread flooded him, this really wasn’t a good idea. Looking up, he admired the main piece from his newest collection on the wall. The painting was huge, it filled the wall and then some. The canvas would have to be transported by truck, that was coming later today. It would to take it to the gallery and then that would be the last of them. Standing, he moved his naked, toned body over to the enormous portrait. 

The subject had many names, the last of which had been Nicholas. His heart twisted at the pain of the memory but then throbbed with love. Memories of love lost was always a double-edged sword. Raising his hand, he ran cool fingers over the plump lips. The contact had him sighing with the need to revisit the past. What had possessed him to do a twenty painting show of this face? Why had he done this to himself? There were eight billion people on the planet now. He sighed, the likelihood of seeing it in real life ever again was less than none. His long life had two major downsides. The first was human blood, he needed it to survive. The second, his soul was in two pieces that would only be reunited at random. The curse could be broken, he knew that but he’d never figured out how. Cas sat cross-legged on the rug of the industrial space. Staring up at the stunning green eyes that were boring into his soul, he felt like he was drowning.

The memories came and he let them. Maybe they’d convince him to stop this madness before he put it out into the world. 

Nicholas, tall, stunning Nicholas. The son of a king who married a princess; yes, that one had been painful. The man had denied any feeling towards Cas for his sixty years. He existed on this blue and green rock with a severe denial. Cas had pinned and loved him without so much as a kiss in the night. Charo had been the incarnation before Nicholas, the same perfect face on a man who was vicious and vile. Life had torn the kindness out of him and devoured it. Cas had tried not to love that particular incarnation but as always it had been futile. Once he made eye contact, that was it, he was done for. 

The one on the wall was Shel. The dreams had been torturing him for months before he started to paint. Shel was and always would be, the love of his existence. It was the only time the incarnation had moved heaven and earth to be with him. Shel had left his family in the holy land to follow Cas. That incarnation had never been repeated. Yes, some had been kind, some intelligent and funny but none were like him. He had been it; sarcastic, smart, flirtatious, kind, passionate, loyal… simply it. Although Cas had loved them all, Shel had been the one he’d adored, worshipped and mourned for a century. Several centuries more had passed but the pain could be as raw as the day he'd died. The difference between the others and Shel was the scar. That fine while line that adorned his forehead it was unique to him. It was Shel haunting him, who sat on his wall staring down. Before this particular foray into art, his painting and drawings had stayed private. The small, brown folder he kept under his bead held them safe. He’d drawn every incarnation of his love, some modelled and some from afar. Shel... there had been many of him but Cas only kept two. 

“Why are you in my dreams my love?” he sighed into the cool air of the loft. 

With his heart aching he frowned and walked to the shower. The pain was brief after so long but recently it had been here more present than not. The walls of his bathroom were frosted glass blocks. The curve obscured details but the colours of the painting followed him throughout his morning routine. 

“Radio, on.” He called from the shower and his computer responded by initiating a random song. The lyrics spoke of a love relinquished and then found. Smiling, he rubbed the suds over his golden skin until he was clean. The hot water was cleansing. As he glimpsed the portrait colours through the glass, he considered the logic of his show again. No one would know Shel. There could be portraits of some of the others. Historical portraits that were littered around but in this age of media he could write it off as a coincidence. It would be fine he reassured himself, no one was looking for him; not any more. No one even believed in vampires any more. 

Drying himself was interrupted by his phone ringing. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons played loudly from his bed and he had to run for it. Faster than human came in handy. 

“Hey.” He answered.

“Where are you?” his best friend, his only real friend growled at him. “If you think that I’m setting up this ridiculousness on my own, then you are mistaken.” 

“Balthazar.” 

“I mean it Castiel. I may look twenty-two but this vessel is… long in the tooth.”

“Are you admitting you’re old?”

“Absolutely not. Forget I said anything. But not the part about you getting your lazy vampire arse down here. The art won’t hang itself. Though I may hang- No! That is not the east wall! Derek, the East- Cas, please save me from these human imbeciles before I have myself a Byzantine style massacre.”

“Balthazar, you’re almost human you-”

“Please do not insult me, I have some of my grace… Why would you- You’ve been staring at that damn portrait again. Damn it Castiel, that thing needs to go. This whole thing was a bad idea and staring at it makes you morose.”

“I miss him, you don’t-”

“Don’t tell me I don’t understand my friend. I watched it for a millennium, I was there. I... he was my friend. I know… Please come down here. I’ve already had to move things three times. I won’t be held responsible if this place end’s up looking like Picasso got drunk and decided to prank you.”

“You wouldn’t!” he scolded playfully, knowing his friend loved his work. Even if he didn't say it. 

“No, but I will be tempted if you don’t get a move on. Derek! De- Cas I have to go.” 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. By-” The phone went dead. 

Cas rolled his eyes then laughed as he grabbed his clothes. 

The chinos were thick, the dark Burgundy highlighted the same colour in the black t-shirt. The writing across the front read: Earth without ‘art’ is just ‘eh’. Grinning at the slogan, he threw on his Black goose down coat. Then picking up his bag he took a second to grab two shots of O negative out of the fridge. Blood kept him healthy, young. It was better than the alternative, he shuddered at the times he’d tried to starve himself to death. Yeah, the third time had not been a charm. The scarlet liquid was cold and he winced. A little every day kept him healthy along with human food which was still a necessity. Though if he didn't want to he didn't need to eat every day. Thankfully, he didn’t crave blood any more. At the thought, he started to salivate. Warm blood was very tempting and akin to drinking melted chocolate. Cas pushed the thought away like swiping at a screen. He hadn't craved anyone's blood in a very long time. 

Riding his bike in the snow was a no-no. While it wasn’t an issue as his balance was impeccable, humans avoided things like that so he did too. Wrapping the scarf, which he didn’t need, around his neck; he set off. The dull February morning was crisp and he enjoyed not needing his glasses. The brown ankle boots kept the sludge from his socks. Even though he didn’t feel much of the weather he could still feel things and wet socks sucked. 

The walk was swift and he arrived in time to see Balthazar adjusting a sizable painting of an eye. 

“I thought you hated this whole thing?” Cas chuckled as he crept up behind the almost angel. 

“I do. I think you’re asking for trouble…”

“But?”

Balthazar huffed and tilted his head, “They’re stunning. You’re good at this.” 

Cas was startled by the candour. That was the first time he’d heard anything positive about this whole endeavour.

“Thank you B, It means a lot.” 

“Egh, don’t get your feelings all over me. I showered this morning.” 

Cas laughed, “Is everything set up?”

“Obviously, I’ve been here with the morons since six.” 

“Play nice B, they’re volunteers.” 

Balthazar rolled his eyes, “We just need that ridiculousness that you have at the loft. Why is it so big again?”

“I don’t know. It just felt like it should have… presence when I finally did his whole face.” 

“Well, maybe he’ll stay out of your dreams now?” he sounded concerned. 

“I know it’s been hard B. I know I’ve been… out of it.” 

“…It was bad enough the first time around.”

“Yeah… Yeah, it was.” 

They both had a moment of silence for the unspoken pain, for a millennium old grief that still pained them both. Cas for the love of his life and Balthazar for both Cas’ loss and his closest friend. Shel had been the only human to ever work under Balthazar's skin. 

“The truck is coming tonight and I’ll have it installed by tomorrow evening.” Cas sighed. 

“Good, opening night should go flawlessly.” 

Cas smiled and placed his hand on Balthazar’s shoulder. “Can you not sleep with the potential buyers this time, please? I’d quite like to sell some of these.” 

His friend chuckled dryly, “I make no promises.” 

Cas turned to the giant lips that Balthazar was walking away from. 

“Oh and Cas?”

“Yes?”

“He would have loved it. Especially the 15ft monstrosity, yes, especially that.” 

He felt tears rise as Balthazar walked away. Yeah, Shel would have found it all flattering and amusing. The thought left him with a single tear rolling down his cheek but a smile playing on his lips. Why were memories both so wonderful and so horrifically painful? After living for longer than he cared to think about he still didn’t have an answer.


	3. All my incarnations

“Ash… give it back!” Dean cursed as he snatched the paper from his friend.

“Obviously it’s someone who has taken a picture of you Deano.” He shrugged, “No mystery, just someone stealing your face.”

“That's all huh?”

“It's a compliment, this guy obviously thinks you’re pretty, who knows why?”

Dean threw a napkin ball at him, “You’re an ass.”

“That was not proven categorically.”

“I proved it,” Meg added.

“Yeah, she made an algorithm and everything.” Charlie chimed in.

“I believe the phrase was ‘huge A-hole’” Kevin dropped from where his head was buried in a book.

Ash frowned, “Hey! All’s I said was that he’s not that pretty.”

The group stared at him, eyebrows raised, “Christmas last year.” Charlie said.

“Boom.” Meg grinned.

“Mic drop,” Kevin said as he laughed.

“I was drunk, it doesn’t count,” Ash whined.

“It was a thirty-minute monologue about why Dean had the best-looking face you have ever seen. Wasn’t there something about symmetry?” Kevin asked.

“…yep” Meg added, “And emerald perfection…”

“Yes!” Charlie yelled, “I was pretty outta it but I defiantly remember ‘Cheekbones of a Renaissance sculpture.' Yep definitely.”

Ash blushed, “Fine… Whatever.”

“Guys… seriously.”

They all turned to look at Dean who had placed his hand on Ash’s shoulder in solidarity. Laughing, they took their seats at the circular table in the food hall.

“He shouldn’t start shit he can’t finish,” Meg said as she glared at Ash. Holding it for a second, it broke as she grinned.

“Your algorithm was basic and had all the finesse of Dean’s pie,” Ash replied with a sneer.

“You take that back!” Dean and Meg scolded together, the whole table laughed at their outrage.

“Can any of you guys come to this thing?” Dean asked changing the subject, “Charles is in.”

Meg ate her near raw burger and nodded, “I think so. Ash, is co-working this project so we should be done in time to make it for the last hour maybe? We’ll have to let you know. I’d love to see what’s going on with this thing.”

“Me too,” Ash added.

“ Meet you there babe?” Meg asked Charlie and she nodded. “Cool.”

“Kev?” Ash asked.

Kevin shook his head, “Sorry guys, family thing.”

There was a collective groan.

“What?”

“You regress for like three weeks every time you go home…” Ash offered.

“Do not!” Kevin bit back with a scowl.

“Yeah, dude. You were in the library for three continuous days last time, we couldn’t even get you to eat solid food.”

Kevin sighed, “Fine… they just put so much pressure on you know…”

Dean wrapped his arm around his friends' shoulder. “Try to remember that you are seventeen and in your second year at MIT, you’re already outdoing us all.”

Kevin grinned, “Dean, you’re smarter than me, you barely study.”

Dean frowned, “I study!”

Ash laughed, “When?”

“I know!” yelled Charlie, “Christmas break. He hid behind his books when Dad and Uncle Bobby asked about his crush on K.C because they overheard Sam talking about it.”

Ash choked on his coke, “K.C. Kline Carlyle? The linebacker?”

Charlie grinned and the whole table started in fits of giggles.

“How did that go?” Meg asked.

“He told them it was a crush, nothing major. Defiantly didn’t clarify that K.C was a dude. A huge black dude from New York… nope.”

“Why is my life so funny to you all?” Dean whined.

“Dude, why are you in the closet at home?”

“Shut up Charles.”

“Yeah, I thought so.” She laughed.

Dean ate his pie in silence. That had been a seriously awkward moment and he’d faked studying to avoid the conversation. They were right on both counts. He needed to stop being so scared. Cowardice didn’t suit him but he didn’t want his dad or Uncle Bobby to stop being proud of him. It felt dishonest in some ways, he'd tell them eventually. He would, really.

The studying was easy because of his near eidetic memory and they all hated him for it but in a ‘we forgive you because you’re our friend’ kinda way.

Everyone chatted amongst themselves and Dean watched them as he sometimes did. Meg and Charlie were flirting and making heart eyes at each other. It had moved into this dynamic around the New Year and was still shiny for them. Before this, they’d constantly been at each other's throats. Dean like this better, they were happy. Meg had her grunge on, all purple eyeliner and Black Sabbath t-shirts. It suited her but so did the smile she wore around Charlie. Ash and Kevin were both working, heads in the same book. Dean watched Ash. The guy looked like something outta Dukes of Hazard and that was something coming from Dean who was Kansas born and bred. Part of it was keeping people off guard. Ash liked that and the other was that he liked people underestimating him. Kevin was as preppy as they came. His shirts were ironed, who ironed anything? The blue collared shirt and beige chinos were standard. Together they were an eclectic contrast. These were his people, his team and he loved them all.

Lunch passed and so did the rest of the academic day. Dean didn’t need to concentrate on what was being said so he did it the weekly assignment in class. The others were busy. Meg said she’d return at the earliest around six, so Dean walked back to their place alone.

Their home had a waterfront view and cost a small fortune. Dean’s dad had brought the property for him and Charlie, the man was one of the most generous people Dean had ever met. Dean had objected to spending that much when he could stay in dorms. Charlie had agreed but John wouldn’t hear of it. The logic had been that it would be worth more when he sold it. Also, it was big enough that their parents could have a room when they came to visit. They’d visited several times and each time they’d stayed in a hotel. The reason they gave was to give Dean and Charlie their young people privacy. Dean smiled at the memory. Ash had moved in the middle of the first year. Meg’s move was not long after. Kevin had moved in this year and they all got on well.

Dean’s room was at the very top, it was the smallest but it had the best view, that’s why he wanted it. Even as the smallest room it had space for a king bed, wardrobe, desk and a chaise. He pinned the poster on his notice board and admired it again. The room was warm from the large radiator and he lay on his bed with a sigh. His green sheets needed changing and he had washing to do. The mess bugged him so he forced himself up to do the chores. That completed he logged on to his computer to check up with his friends back home. There was nothing interesting happening so he decided to shut his eyes for five minutes.

Meg arrived back about an hour later and the slamming door pulled him from his sleep. Ordering pizza was the Tuesday night plan. Dean flaked out in front of the TV with her and they watched Game of Thrones re-runs. That's where they stayed and eventually, the others joined them. It had gone midnight by the time he crawled into his clean sheets and passed out.

The morning was welcomed with a lie in because he had down time until 2 pm. It was around eight when Charlie yelled that the coffee was ready. They had their own machine with a steamer. Kevin’s brother had brought it for his birthday. The thing was almost industrial sized and made the best latte he had ever had. Though that could be the Italian coffee Meg insisted on ordering from e-bay. Yeah, this was the life. Dragging on his sweatpants he made his way down the solid wood staircase to the kitchen.

“Dude, you making breakfast?” Meg asked sipping her Americano in her black takeout mug.

Dean nodded, “Yeah, Don’t I always?”

“You do and we love you for it.” Charlie smiled from behind her Kindle.

“What you reading?”

“That article in Tech today about that thing…”

“Ah yes, the thing…” Meg laughed.

“Dean knows what I mean.”

“Quantum gate,” Dean added and Charlie nodded.

“See.”

“You two are like a married couple… or twins. It’s so weird.”

Dean laughed and flipped a pancake.

“Gotta go,” Meg called as she kissed Charlie and ran out the door.

Dean smiled as his sister watched her go, “You’re so in love dude.”

“Lies, Winchester.” she smiled back.

“We still going to this thing?”

“Sure, we have a few hours.

Dean took a seat; the house was always quiet on a Wednesday. Everyone left early so he and Charlie were alone. They discussed the article and a few other things and then Dean went to shower and change. His plum t-shirt had a picture of the AC/DC logo in black as if it had been spray painted on. The jeans were retro and were covered by brown boots to his calf. He felt content, throwing on a zip hoodie and a brown leather jacket completed the look.

“Looking good,” Charlie called as he made his way down the stairs.

“You too. Is that…?”

“Yeah. Meg got it for me.”

“She knows you're an adult right?” he said adding fingerless gloves and a scarf.

Charlie laughed, “Unicorns are cool. You’d know that if you knew, well, anything.”

“For that, you will pay.” Dean grinned as he grabbed her in a bear hug and squeezed.

“Can’t breathe… broken ribs… dying…” she wheezed and he dropped her.

“Ouch.”

Dean laughed, “Shall we go?”

“If I can move after that. You’re stronger now you know? We’re not twelve and you hit the gym a lot.”

“Sorry Charles." He said chastised.

The slight redhead punched him full force in the arm and then ran out the door. “Every single time you fall for that I wonder if you really are as dumb as you look!”

“Now you’re going to pay!” he said rubbing his arm. She was stronger than she looked. With a playful growl, he locked up the house and chased her down the street.

They arrived an hour after the doors had opened. Deciding they were in no rush, they had spent the gorgeous clear morning walking the river. The gallery attached to Harvard itself was larger than he’d expected. It had several artists from the school that were showing there. This Castiel guy had the largest, with twenty pieces that covered the whole north end. Brick walls gave the place an industrial atmospere but they were painted white and it gave it a clean feel; modern. The lights were bright but not blinding like some places. Charlie stepped in first and a guy who's name tag said ‘My name is Derek, ask me anything’ told her which end to find Novak’s work. As Dean entered the guy did a double take and then paled. Charlie raised an eyebrow at him and then shrugged. Weird.

“Dude, it’s back here-” She froze after a few paces, “Dean? I think that’s your eye.”

He moved around the corner as was met with at least fifteen pictures of his face, well parts of his face.

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard, “Is that my chin?”

Charlie laughed, “This is an A1 painting of your eyebrow… wow.”

“This is so fucking weird.”

“Mom would love this, you have to tell her. She’ll buy them all!”

Dean felt sick; she would just love to have them. Shit… “Do not tell her.”

“Too late, I lied. I messaged her yesterday.”

“Charles, I hate you.” He cursed then laughed as she wiggled her eyebrows next to a picture of Dean’s eyebrow.

“This guys has a serious hard-on for your face bro, like seriously.”

“Yeah, I like this one though,” Dean said moving towards a close up of both of his eyes together.

“Yeah, the colours are… amazing actually.”

She looked at Dean, getting a little too close and then compared it to the picture. “Dean, that not just right, it’s perfect… it’s like a photograph. How the hell did the guy get a good enough picture of you to see the flecks of gold in your eyes?”

Dean grunted and shrugged, “No idea.” He considered it. “I had professional ones done for the football team, they use good cameras, maybe it was one from then?”

Charlie scrunched her face but nodded, “Maybe. Let's check out the next row.”

She rounded the corner and then stopped dead. Dean was still focused on a close up of his lips and walked straight into her.

“Ow!” he growled, “Why did you-”

“Dude.”

He followed her hand to the far wall. Two men stood with their backs to them as they spoke. They were standing next to a 15ft perfect likeness of Dean’s face.

“We need that in the lounge. Mom is going to Die.”

“Fuck.”

They walked towards it tentatively as if it would jump out and bite them. The picture was stunning, it really was. The artist had captured a light in Dean’s eyes he didn’t even know he had. It was flawless. If you couldn’t see the brush strokes you’d think it was a photograph. Hairs on his arms rose as he shivered; he hadn’t seen anything like it. The two men in the room were actually further away than they’d seemed before. One was tall and blond and the other was slightly shorter and stocky with dark hair…. and a nice ass. Maybe one was the artist? Because... Charlie, she was already on the case and moving towards them.

“Hey.” She called and the men turned to her. From this angle, Dean could only see the back of dark-haired guys head but Blondie looked irritated. He could hear everything and he listened as he focused on his own face on the wall. Jesus, he hoped his Mom didn’t buy this thing.


	4. Pretty Green eyes

“Hey.” A female voice called from behind them.

Cas turned slightly as Balthazar scowled. Derek was supposed to show any visitors around, they could be potential buyers.

“Hello,” Balthazar said, more civilly than Cas was expecting.

“Hey.” The redhead said again, “Er. Is one of you the artist guy?”

Balthazar pointed at Cas, “That would be him.”

Cas raised a hand, “Can I help you?”

“Well, yeah. You see you painted my brothers face, it’s kinda weird. Like you painted it a lot and that-” she pointed to the wall. “Is kinda insane, and our dad is a lawyer and I’m pretty sure he’d be happy to start a lawsuit for use of Dean’s image without his consent. While I’m on the subject, how did you get so much detail out of a photograph anyway? The paintings are amazing and I’m pretty sure Mom would buy the lot. Though now I think about it I don’t think having pictures of his face all over the house would be fun at all. Can you imagine what Dad’s clients would say? It’d be like having some weird fetish of your kid… so maybe if she tries to buy them all just say they’re sold or something? Maybe not that-” she pointed at the wall again, “Because that’d be hella funny if he ever brought anyone home-” Charlie laughed to herself. “Picture it with me. New partner walks into the house and sees that! How fast would they run?”

Cas and Balthazar were staring at the young woman with wide eyes. She spoke very quickly and eventually froze when she realised they hadn’t moved.

“Are you two okay?”

“I’m sorry.” Said Balthazar, “What are you talking about?”

“Dean!” she turned and called over her shoulder, “Come here!”

Cas’ world stopped. The tall man who swivelled on the spot grinned and Cas’ heart melted then started to pound in his chest. No. No, it absolutely couldn’t be… The purple t-shirt made the guy's golden skin glow. The leather jacket highlighted strong shoulders. His jeans were straight cut and dark. The hair was short like in his portrait, which had struck him as odd at the time. It was a time before scissors and Shel had always worn his hair long. This is who he had been painting; not Shel but it was Shel…

“That’s… That not…” Balthazar started knowing that it was actually possible.

“Hey.” The gorgeous man said as he stopped in front of the group, flashing perfect teeth.

“Dean this is the artist. Castiel wasn’t it?”

Cas nodded but had no words because he was staring at Dean. The beautiful stranger, who wasn’t a stranger at all, met his blue eyes and he drowned. His blood pressure smashed through the roof and the room started to spin.

“So yeah, this is Dean. See scar and everything, definitely his face.” Charlie pointed out.

“I’m going to be sick,” Cas whispered and ran.

“Cas!” Balthazar called but Cas was already gone. It was faster than he should have in human company but slow enough they could write it off as human fast. Rounding the corner to the toilets he threw himself into a cubicle and wretched. Nothing came up and he tried to breathe. Dragging in mouthfuls of air he started to spiral. No, this… no incarnation was exactly the same. The angel who cursed him said so. They would never be the same, there was always a lesson to learn, and they would always be different. What was happening?

“That’s… it not…-” he spoke into the silence of the room. It was possible, he knew that. Likely? No, but possible? Definitely. Coincidence? Divine intervention? He had no idea but he really did have to find out more about him, about Dean.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” Cas cursed himself aloud. Breathing was still hard but he forced himself back out the door and towards the group. Heart pounding he walked slowly, composing himself as he got closer. His mind was spinning, be calm, it’ll be fine. You’ve done this before. It’s an incarnation, be calm.

“Hi,” he said to the group as they all turned. Cas stared at Dean then held out his hand, “Castiel Novak. Sorry about that, bad breakfast burrito.”

Dean grinned, “Been there.”

Cas died a little. Holy shit. Taking a moment he examined the face in front of him, it was Shel. It wasn’t only like Shel as the others had been, it was Shel. No, Dean?

They shook hands and Cas’ body felt like it was on fire. Watching Dean’s face react, he felt it too. Yep, this was definitely the other half of his soul. Fuck.

“Dean? Do you have a last name?” Cas kept the eye contact as long as Dean let him which was a while. Dean definitely found him attractive. That was a very good start because Cas was already determined to not let this guy go anywhere. Not without knowing where to find him.

“Winchester. This is my sister Charlie.” Dean said.

“That’s… perfect.” Cas whispered.

“But you knew that right? You have my face on your wall?”

Cas cringed, how the hell did he explain this?

“Cas sees people in his dreams. It wasn’t painted from a picture,” Balthazar whispered because it was the tagline. His friend seemed like he was in shock.

“You dreamt about me?” Dean smiled flirtatiously.

Cas couldn’t focus, there were no words available to him that would make sense because this was unreal. He managed a nod.

“But the scar…” Charlie added.

“It was in the dream. Maybe I have seen a picture and it stuck with me? You have a very nice face.” Cas said and immediately regretted it. That had sounded so much less creepy inside his head. He turned to Balthazar with a pained expression.

“This must be strange for you. Cas didn’t know you were a real person and so if you could refrain from suing us we would appreciate it.”

“Us?” Dean asked frowning as he glanced between them, “Are you together?”

Cas was betting Dean Winchester had no clue why he was so curious. Why the thought of Cas and B as a couple was bothering him so much and he grinned. Realising he should answer he did but overdid it, “NO! I mean, no, I’m not B’s type.” He laughed.

“And Castiel’s is very specific.” Balthazar grinned. Dean looked at the Angel and then Balthazar looked the replica of Dean’s face behind his head and winked.

Fucker, Cas thought but said, “Thanks, B. Subtle.”

Dean blushed, which had Cas melting onto the floor.

“So you do all this from memory? He sounds like you Dean.” Charlie interrupted.

“Sorry?” Cas asked.

“Dean has a near eidetic memory, so he just remembers things without trying. It’s super annoying.”

“Shut up Charles.” Dean laughed, “I’m sure these guys don’t care how good my memory is.”

Cas changed the subject because he was freaking out, “How did you find the show?”

“Dean found a flyer on our campus, we go to MIT.”

“You’re students?” Balthazar asked.

Charlie and Dean both nodded.

“Are you?” She asked.

“Yes. I’m Majoring in art, obviously.” Cas laughed and “B is doing Celtic languages and lit.”

“Cool, I’m Majoring in Aeronautics and Astronautics-”

Cas eyes went wide, “You’re studying space?”

“Space engineering, I wanna build spaceships.” Dean grinned.

“That's amazing,” Cas replied, oh god this was fucking ridiculous. He glanced at Balthazar who was wide-eyed.

“Charlie can build a computer in her sleep, she’s studying Computer science and Molecular biology.”

“Very impressive,” Balthazar said sounding very unimpressed. It was a cover and Cas knew he was as freaked as he was.

“Well, you probably have things to do. Dean and I need to get to class.” Charlie said, “Dean?”

Cas didn’t want them to go, he didn’t want Dean out of his sight but it couldn’t be helped.

“Sure. Castiel? You have my permission to use my face, retrospectively.” He grinned, “See you around maybe?”

“Dude, he already likes you, you’re in his dreams. Jesus, Could you flirt any harder?” Charlie chimed in.

Dean blushed and scowled at Charlie.

Cas laughed, “Thank you. You’re welcome any time, here, take my card. Call me if your Mom wants to buy one, or if you want to get coffee?”

How was he being so calm? He didn’t feel calm, not even a little.

Grinning, Dean walked backwards as Charlie dragged him away, “Yeah I might do that.”

They rounded the corner and Cas backed himself into the wall then sank to his ass on the cold concrete floor. Balthazar joined him as they both stared at the space where Dean had been.

“B?”

“Yes, Cas.”

“That was Shel.”

“Yes, Cas.”

“What the hell is happening?”

“I really have no idea.”

Visitors interrupted their silent staring half an hour later. By four in the afternoon, they were leaving for the day. The coffee shop down the road was a perfect place to relax and get their thoughts together.

“How is he here?” Cas asked as he sat on a mustard coloured sofa with his Americano.

“I hope that is rhetorical because how the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence?”

“Yes Castiel, well done. He is coincidently, exactly like Shel!”

“We don’t know that he is.”

Balthazar narrowed his eyes, “Okay, so let's ignore the scar. Because for the sake of this argument, we’ll pretend that having the exact same scar in the exact same place isn’t an example. We’ll skip to the other points, shall we?

“B-”

“No Cas.” He spat, “He just coincidently has an eidetic memory, like Shel. He also wants to make spaceships, not aeroplanes Cas, spaceships. Shel loved the stars, what did he use to say?”

“B-”

“He used to say, 'If I had wing’s I would fly to space and see the universe.' Didn't he?”

Cas looked forlorn, “It can’t be him B… It can’t… I can’t go through this again…”

“Maybe that’s the point?”

“What?” Cas asked confused.

“When Gabriel worked his trickster mojo, what was it he said?”

Cas was pulled into the memory as he drifted back to the day his whole existence had changed. They had been on a mission from heaven. Cas and Balthazar were checking out demon killings in the holy-land. It hadn’t been a demon; it had been Gabriel playing with humans again.

“Gabriel, we know it’s you.” Balthazar had yelled into the desert.

“Come to spoil my fun brother?”

“Michael thinks you need to stop, so do we,” Cas added.

“I don’t think so… Big brother can go screw himself.” Gabriel walked a circle around them.

“Gabe, chill out okay?” Balthazar scolded, “We don’t have to fight, simply leave the holy-land. There are plenty of other places to play.”

Gabriel had paced and pretended to consider it, “How about we play?”

This was not good.

“Fine.” Balthazar had answered, “What do you want to play?”

“I want to play, who’s got a pet human?” Gabriel grinned and turned to Cas.

Cas felt sick but held his bravado in place, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Gabriel.”

“Oh, Castiel. Don’t tell lies, it ruins the game.”

Balthazar looked at him with wide eyes, “What is going on Cas?”

Gabe laughed, “Castiel has been keeping a secret from us all, haven’t you Cas?”

“Please Gabriel, don’t do this.”

“But it’s so much fun.” His smile was all menace, “I won't be kicked out of the garden because Michael is feeling bossy and superior. Maybe if he is without his two bloodhounds then I can get some peace.

“Gabriel…” Balthazar warned pulling out his angel blade.

“Oh no!” He said in mock horror then clicked his fingers. They landed inside a temple, their weapons were gone and there was a human on the floor.

“Castiel?” Shel called,”What is happening?”

“Stay calm my love, it will be alright.” He tried to smile reassuringly.

Balthazar stared at Cas, “What did you do?”

“Cas has been visiting earth and playing happy families with this ape. All those human feelings running around him from daddy's failed experiment have been hard, haven’t they?" His tone was all sarcasm and bite. "Poor broken Cas, to much an Angel for the humans too human for the Angels. Boo Hoo. How about we play a new game? I call it soul tag.” Gabe snapped his fingers again, “From now until time ends your soul will be divided Castiel. You want to be with the humans so badly? Well, how about eternity? May that will give you something to do and a little perspective. For now, you can keep this one but when it dies? Another incarnation will rise, maybe in a year, maybe in a hundred but it will and you will chase it and then I’ll hit replay. They’ll never be the same so don’t get your hopes up.” He paused musing to himself, “Yes, it’ll take me a while to get bored, it could be hilarious. Can’t have you running back to heaven though so you’ll no longer be an angel, let's try… vampire but with a twist. Balthazar can be your fun sidekick, but sorry B, can’t keep that grace as is. Too much power, too much risk of you tattling, you understand. Also, they won't be able to find you. You’ll figure the rest out. Have fun boys.”

That had been the last time either of them had seen Gabriel.

“He definitely said they wouldn’t be the same twice…” Cas pondered, “Maybe he’s taunting me?”

“Maybe, but wasn’t that the point of this whole thing? Why give you Shel back now?”

“Dean.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“You will stay?” Cas asked, terrified that Balthazar would disappear. When Cas had pined after Nicholas he’d vanished for a decade.

Balthazar frowned, “I’m not going anywhere. This, Dean… we need to figure it out, maybe he’s the key to getting our wings back?”

Cas grinned, “Maybe?”

“Either way it’s going to be interesting.”

Cas smiled, oh yeah. It was definitely going to be interesting.


	5. All the boys I've loved before

The cold air hit Dean with a slap. 

“Charles.” 

“Yeah?” She turned to him as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. 

“Who the hell was that?”

Charlie grinned, “Oh dude you are so gone.” She looked at her phone, “The others are going to meet us for lunch I told them to stay there.”

“Good because I can’t go back in there yet or I swear I’ll never leave.”

Charlie stared at him, her eyes wide, “Dean… could this be luurrve?”

Dean laughed at the playful mocking, “When he touched me it was like… like putting my finger in a live socket.”

“Wow, okay you need to dial it back. If the others hear you talking like this they’ll never let you live it down.” She grinned, “I, on the other hand, am the pinnacle of discretion!”

Ten minutes later they were sitting in the food hall. The whole group was listening in, riveted by the tale of Dean meeting the portrait guy. Pinnacle of discretion his ass. 

“So then the guy’s all like here’s my card, let’s fuck.” 

Dean snorted out his coffee and foam went everywhere. When he could breathe past the milk in his nose he glared at her, “Charles!”

The whole table was hysterical, Kevin had actual tears. 

“So this guy painted your whole face?” Meg asked.

“Yes. I think there were like twenty in total. All pieces of it.”

“That sounds stalkery and weird.” Ash scowled.

“I don’t know.” Said Charlie, I thought so too but there’s something about him, he seems really nice.

“He dreamt about Dean?” Kevin said, “It’s kinda romantic.” 

They all snapped their heads around to stare at him.

“You know… if that’s a thing you like… which I don’t… you know because I’m a man and I’m all… manly…”

Meg laughed first, “Oh dude! You’re so adorable.”

“Yeah.” Dean added, “I think it’s kinda romantic too.” 

“You do?” Ash asked. 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, I do. He was hot and sweet.”

“Are sure you’re not thinking about pie again?” Meg asked.

They all laughed at her. 

“Castiel pie maybe.” Charlie taunted with a wink.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Awesome.” 

The butterflies in Dean’s stomach hadn’t moved since leaving the gallery. As soon as his eyes had locked with the artists, he was done. There was a raw, naked hunger about it and it kind of scared him. A pull, like he knew him from somewhere but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Almost like meeting up with an old love and being happy to get a second chance at knowing them. Then there had been the touch, the crackle of lust and longing that devoured his skin. Also, the guy was stunning, whomever Dean had been expecting it wasn’t him. The tall and rugged exterior but with a preppy/ Artsy twist, the t-shirt had been cute. To top it all off, those eyes, the most gorgeous blue eyes he’d ever seen. Oh yeah, he was smitten. 

“Well, we have to go do things that are not talking about me.” Dean said standing, “See you guys back home?”

They all nodded and Dean went to class. As usual, it passed without him paying attention. To everyone's annoyance he still got praise for his answerers. As 4pm rolled around he couldn’t help but feel restless, hopefully, football practice would help. Due to the snow, they were in the gym and running did him some good. His mind kept betraying him by slipping back to a sexy artist with a fetish for his face. 

An hour later hot water caressed his skin as he showered the practice away. Strong hands made him jump as they wrapped around his waist. 

“Hey, Dean.” K.C whispered as he pressed his naked back against Dean’s. 

“Hey.” He sighed. 

The large black man was Dean’s stress relief, they were each other's go-to for all things fun. 

“You pleased to see me?” he asked playfully and taking Dean’s cock in his hand.  
Dean groaned. Usually, he would be all in, his body was defiantly all in. His emotions, however, were another story. Feeling spacey made him second guess what he wanted, his feelings were not quite there and he didn’t know why.  
He was hard, throbbing and lust buzzed through his extremities removing his doubt. Dean's eyes rolled back into his head as the guy worked his throbbing length. Dean’s mind flicked to Castiel, he was so hot. Merely thinking of him had Dean pulsating and suddenly he needed the release. Relaxing back he let K.C have his fun. Clearly, he was in a giving mood and Dean was only interested in taking. K.C spread himself against Dean’s back as the hot water pummelled them. Kisses peppered down his neck. All he could think about was how good it would feel coming from Castiel's mouth. He didn’t last long, the wave of orgasm rolled him and he came, a quivering, panting mess over the hand that gripped him. 

“Fuck…” Dean breathed out as he rinsed clean in the water. Turning to the taller man he smiled, “Thank you.” Then kissed him like he had a thousand times before, only this time it felt… weird. Wrong, almost like cheating but that was stupid, he wasn’t seeing anyone. Guilt brushed over him as he moved back and an overwhelming need to get away swamped him. 

“Kase, I need to go. I’m not feeling well. Rain check?”

The handsome man frowned, “Sure. I hope you're okay.”

“Yeah… just shaky. Catch you later?”

K.C nodded, “Sure gorgeous.” Then kissed his full lips. The guilt hit again and Dean moved back. What was wrong with him?

“Later.”

Dean rushed out of the shower. Drying and dressing took a fraction of the time because he needed out. Using a hairdryer, which he never did, had him ready in minutes.  
Wet hair wasn’t good in the cold and he couldn’t get sick. Pulling his hood up he walked out into the early evening towards home.  
Halfway there he diverted. The thought of being with the others wasn’t so appealing tonight. He wasn’t sure why but even as he wondered his feet found a different route. The walk was slow, he strolled and watched the world go by. The river was lit and couples walked hand in hand, one pair had coffee. Dean could kill for a cinnamon hot chocolate. Someone was looking out for him because a few minutes later he found a place that was still open. One of those late night 24-hour places that catered to students. Ordinarily, he stayed local to campus but he was here so may as well get warm before heading back. Checking his phone he reassured Charlie then pushed the door. It rebounded and he realised someone was trying to exit. 

“Excuse me.” A gravelly voice said and he froze. No, no, that would be too weird. Looking up he took a deep breath. 

“Dean?” Cas whispered, “What are you? I mean, Hi.”

“Hi,” Dean replied as he met those stunning ocean blue eyes. “Hot chocolate.”

“I’m sorry?” Confused, Cas frowned.

“Hot chocolate,” Dean repeated. 

Yep, he sounded like a moron. 

“With cinnamon.”

“Oh, you’re going in?” 

“No Cas, he’s pushing the door for fun.”

“Yes,” Dean replied ignoring Balthazar’s snark.

“Well, you two are ridiculous. Castiel, I’ll see you later. Dean, pleasure.” 

It didn’t sound like a pleasure at all. 

“You’re leaving?” Dean asked and hated the whiny tone to his voice. Jesus, pull your shit together.

“Well, I… I don’t have anything pressing. I could stay if you want the company. I mean if you don’t mind?”

Cas seemed as flustered as he was, it made him warm on the inside. 

“I’d like that,” Dean answered and made his way into the dimly lit space. 

They ordered, Cas paid and Dean sat in one of the huge soft chairs in the window. Cas took the opposing chair. The frown on his face had Dean’s insides twisting. 

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked

“Are you… no, it’s creepy I shouldn’t ask.” Cas said as he sipped his hot chocolate and waved his hand dismissively. 

“No, please. Ask.” 

“Are you… are you seeing anyone?” 

Dean recoiled and tried to keep the guilt from his face. Then panic reared its ugly head, why did he feel guilty? 

“No, not really. There’s a guy on the football team but it’s casual you know.”

Cas froze for a second but recovered quickly, “Right. That’s cool.”

Dean shuffled in his seat, “You?”

“No. Balthazar was right, I have a very specific type.”

Dean felt hot, was the heating a million degrees in here? This guy didn’t do subtle and it made a nice change. No games. 

“Me you mean?” 

Cas laughed, “Well that's very specific but yes, I’ve had your face in my head for… a long time. 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or unnerved.” 

“Flattered, please? " Cas suggested as he smiled.

“Sure.” 

The conversation was remarkably easy, they spoke about everything. Their family, friends, what they wanted to do as they got older. Before he knew it, it was ten and he had to be up early for practice. 

“Shit.” Dean cursed glancing at his phone, “I really have to go.” 

It caused an illogical level of panic when he thought of leaving and he pushed it down. Maybe another hour wouldn’t hurt? 

“Okay.”

“Actually, you know what, screw it. It’ll be fine.” Dean laughed, “Do you want another drink?” 

“Sure.” 

Dean ordered and sat with an orange tea. The time flew by again and two hours passed in a flash. He loved how he felt with Cas. Relaxed as if nothing he said would turn the guy off. Cas also seemed impressed though not intimidated by his intelligence. It was a nice change. 

“I really should go…” Dean huffed.

Cas grinned, “Let me walk you?”

“You want to?” Dean asked, trying to keep it casual but failing. There was definitely an eager edge to the words. 

“I would like that, if it’s not, you know, weird.”

Maybe it was a little weird and the guy would know where he lived but hey, Dean could take care of himself. 

They grabbed their coats and walked out into the dark winter air. Dean shivered and Cas moved closer. 

“So what are you doing tomorrow?” Cas asked as they walked side by side by the river.

“Erm, gym training, football, class and then nothing- wait that was a lie- were going to a party.” 

Cas smiled, “A party huh?”

Dean grinned, “Would you like to come?- and Balthazar too if you like?” 

“Sure, you know… whatever.” Cas said nonchalantly.

“- because you’re all whatev’s about it.” Dean laughed.

Cas grinned, “Send me the details?” 

That smile tilted Deans world on its axis, his cock throbbed. He couldn’t wait to get this guy into bed. 

“I will.” 

“Yeah, you will.”

It was so easy and fun that in what felt like a moment they were at his front door. 

“So… I’ll see you tomorrow maybe?” Dean said with his hands in his pockets fidgeting like a child. 

“Yes Dean, you will see me tomorrow.”

“Okay, awesome.” Dean stepped towards Cas and then paused. He’d only met the guy this morning, what did he do? If felt like much longer, did they shake hands? Hug? What?

Cas closed the gap and took the decision from him. The kiss was light, a bare brush of lips and Dean moaned as electricity coursed over his skin. His eyes fluttered open as Cas stepped back.

The gorgeous blue-eyed man smiled a flirtatious lopsided grin. 

“It was nice seeing you again Dean.”

Eventually, Dean found his breath and his words, “You too Cas…”

Cas walked away and glanced back over his shoulder, Dean couldn’t help but smile. 

Walking into the house he met a wall of noise. 

“Oh my god!” his friends screamed collectively, all but Ash who was sulking. 

“Dude!” Charlie started, “he moves fast.”

“That kiss!” Meg added, “Holy Jesus, you’re in so far over your head I can’t see anything but water!”

“Dean, that looked amazing!” Kevin grinned.

He stood and beamed as they asked him about his night. Stripping his coat off he kept on smiling, right into the lounge, right into bed and right into the morning.


	6. Addicted to you

“Why are we going to this thing again?” Balthazar moaned as he paced around Cas’ loft. 

Cas glared at him, no words were necessary. 

“Fine, but I object.” The angel growled slumping onto the bed. The move was so graceful it shouldn't have been described as a slump but it was all slump. 

“You’ve been objecting the entire day, B.” 

“That... is an exaggeration.”

“No, it is not. You griped at breakfast. Moaned at lunch and by six I was ready to throw myself from the 3rd-floor window simply to escape you.” 

Balthazar frowned, “Shut up Castiel.”

Cas grinned, “How do I look?”

Balthazar glanced at him as he stood looking in the mirror, “Fine.”

Cas’ head slumped forwards in exasperation, “Thank you. That is very helpful.” 

“Undo the top buttons,” B added. 

“What?… no.”

“Do it. He’ll be drooling before you get anywhere near him. That shirt shows everything and the black is good on you.”

Cas caved and undid his collar and the second button down. B stood and walked over to admire the outfit, he frowned and then reached over and undid the third button. Cas rolled his eyes again. 

“I’ll go naked, shall I? ” The words escaped, he regretted them immediately. 

Balthazar grinned, eyebrows raising at the thought. “Now, it would be worth going to see Dean’s face as you walked in naked.”

“Go away B.” Cas laughed and then admired himself again. Extremely glad that the whole vampire mirror thing didn’t apply to him. The black jeans were tight and showed off his ass to perfection. The shirt was slim fit and tucked in, and his black polished shoes shone in the light. Yeah, he was a little overdone for a college party but he was going for the wow factor. B slunk back to the bed. 

“Are you going to be okay if Dean’s fuck buddy makes an appearance?”

Rage rose in Cas’ gut at the thought of Dean touching anyone else. The combination of sex and someone else on his skin yesterday had almost pushed him into a killing kind of mood. It wasn’t the guy's fault or Dean’s and that was the only thing keeping him from hunting the guy down. It wasn’t jealousy exactly because Dean was his, he just didn’t know it yet. It was more, territorial, yeah that was it.

“I find it ironic that out of the two you’re the green-eyed monster.”

“I am not jealous.” 

“Right… tell that to someone who believes you.” He laughed. 

Cas growled and B ignored him, as always. He wasn’t sure what would happen if the guy turned up smelling of Dean but Cas could be cool, calm. ‘Yeah sure’ his inner voice echoed Balthazar. Hush, damn it. 

The walk was brisk and B complained the whole time about sludge. Cas tuned him out and focused on breathing, he was… nervous. 

“Stop touching your hair!” B snapped. 

“Sorry… nerves.”

“Every time… seriously?”

“This is not the same B! This is Shel. It is not the same.” Each word was enunciated and sharp. 

“Fine.” Balthazar glanced at him, “Cas?”

“Yes, Balthazar.” 

“It was nice to see him again even if it did scare the shit out of me.”

“Yes, it was a shock.”

“I hate human parties.”

“No, you hate small talk.”

“That is true.”

“…and cheap whiskey.”

“That is also true.”

They laughed together as they arrived at the frat house. The music was blaring and the house looked full to bursting. Cas took a deep steadying breath and pushed the door, no one knocked when there was a party. After the silence, the din inside hit them like a train. Avicii- ‘Addicted to you’ blared from the speaker set up in the corner. Cas actually knew this one, it had been playing over and over for a while now. The hall and lounge had the main lights off and two coloured disco balls were strobing. It gave the space a nightclub feel. People were dancing between the furniture and the place was hot. The mass of bodies created a humid atmosphere and Cas had to push through the throngs to get to the kitchen. Pulling out his phone he text Dean, a reply hit his inbox in a second. 

“They’re outside,” Cas said to Balthazar. He made his way towards the French doors that framed the exit to the yard.

The scene was mellow. Music penetrated the night air but the atmosphere was relaxed. Winter air swirled around Cas as he looked for Dean. A small group sitting around a fire pit was where Cas finally spotted him. They were talking and laughing. Cas clocked the moment Dean saw him. The gorgeous man did a double take and his eyes went wide, jaw dropping slightly. It was like a symphony as their eyes met and Cas thanked Balthazar in his mind for the button idea. Dean was practically drooling. 

Cas grinned as they made their way over. Dean stood and met him several paces from the group who were all staring with wide eyes. He looked amazing. The distressed jeans were dark, slim cut and tucked into calf-high lace-up army boots. The shirt was slim fit and showed off Dean’s hard-earned physique, the forest green made his eyes sparkle. A black leather biker style jacket was pulled over his muscled shoulders. Dean ran his hands through already messy hair but it only added to that ‘I rolled out of bed looking this good’ thing. Cas shuddered, his cock growing hard in his jeans, he tried not to stare but failed miserably. 

“Hi,” Dean said with a grin as he stopped inside Cas’ personal space. They were within arms reach and Cas couldn’t resist. He closed the gap and took Dean’s plump cold lips in his. It was meant to be a brief kiss, hello but once there, he melted. Dean didn’t move so it went on for several long seconds before Balthazar coughed. 

“Hi,” Cas replied breathlessly as he pulled away. 

“Egh… I need a drink.” B groaned as he rolled his eyes. 

“Balthazar, you remember Dean.” Cas introduced them, not for B but to remind Dean who he was. Their gaze held as Dean replied.

“Hey.”

“I’m leaving now to go find alcohol. If you need me… don’t.” He walked away with a swish as his angle length coat brushed his legs. 

“I like him,” Dean said as he smiled. 

“Me too. Sometimes.” Cas laughed. 

Dean walked an inch from his arm, not quite touching but close enough not to make much difference. 

“Guys, this is Cas. Cas this is Charlie, you remember her from yesterday? That’s Meg, Ash and Kevin.”

“Hello.”

A round of ‘hello’s’ followed and Cas admired the group. A friendly and relaxed atmosphere flowed around them, the only issue was Ash who was giving Cas side eye. The man had a little crush on Dean, Cas could tell. The guy flinched every time Dean's shoulder brushed against Cas'. Dean sat and Cas followed, the cushioned seating was cold and Dean shivered. The urge to wrap his warmth around those large shoulders was overwhelming but they weren’t there yet. The fire kicked out enough heat to take the chill from the air and after a few moments, Dean relaxed. Charlie was cuddling Meg who sat between her legs. They both had steaming mugs, so did Kevin. 

“So you’re the pretty boy painter?” Ash began and everyone rolled their eyes. 

“Yes,” Cas replied, completely non-reactive. 

“Dude I like you already.” Meg laughed. 

“Don’t mind Ash, he thinks that Dean needs protecting, which he doesn’t. Chill Ash.” Charlie added with a glare.

Ash frowned at her, the look was not friendly. 

“I’m going to get a drink,” Ash muttered and walked away. 

“Ash?” Dean asked but the guy waved a hand dismissively and continued inside. 

Meg shrugged and turned to Cas, “Tell me everything about you, right now.” 

Cas laughed, “There’s not much to tell.”

“Dean told us what you told him. So, tell us something he doesn’t know.” Charlie grinned.

Dean looked at Cas and nodded, “If you don’t mind? Humour them or they’ll never leave us alone.”

“Right.” Cas chuckled, “Well, I got into Harvard based on a drawing of Balthazar. He made me swear to never tell anyone but he’s been such a grouch today that I feel retribution is in order.”

They laughed and Kevin asked, “That was the guy you came in with? Do you have a picture of it?”

Cas flashed a mischievous grin as he nodded and replied, “Absolutely.”

The portrait was a full body pencil drawing of Balthazar but with his wings out. Cas had sketched it from memory and the angel had pitched a fit when he’d added it to his portfolio. The admissions adviser had loved it and said that was the kind of talent Harvard looked for so he’d kept it. 

“Dude, you have some serious talent,” Meg said. 

“That is stunning. It’s like he could walk out of the page and fly away.” Kevin added with wide eyes. 

“Can we see the one of Dean? The huge one?” Meg asked pulling her scarf tighter around her neck. 

Cas nodded and scrolled through his phone to the shots of the portrait. 

“Holy crap.” Kevin laughed, “That's, that literally perfect. Jesus.” 

Dean blushed and Cas leaned into his shoulder which made him smile. 

“You two are a-fucking-dorable.” Charlie chimed in as she sipped something that smelt like hot cider. 

Cas couldn’t stop grinning, he felt happy and safe; it was nice. The conversation moved on to more general topics as they laughed and drank. Balthazar must have found something or someone to do because he was still gone an hour later. That's when the evening took a turn. The voices were hard, not quite a shout but there was a level of frustration. As one, the group’s heads turned to the French doors. 

“K.C leave it,” Ash said firmly to the taller man. 

“If Dean doesn’t want this anymore he should tell me himself, Ash. I wanna hear it from him.”

“Shit.” Dean cursed.

“Is everything okay?” Cas asked as Dean's blood pressure spiked. He could feel it. The quick change in his temperament hit that the primal part of his brain like a shockwave.

“Erm, yeah. Let me go deal with this.” He stood and climbed out of the sunken seating area. 

Charlie leaned in from her place next to Cas and whispered, “That’s K.C, he’s your main competition.” 

Cas caught the growl before it left his lips. So, this was the guy he’d scented on Dean yesterday? Cas assessed his non- competition because Dean was his, end of story. The guy was taller than Dean by a few inches, that made him over six feet. Huge, toned shoulders screamed football. The rest of him was hard and sculpted under the yellow t-shirt. His face was twisted with hurt, maybe a touch of anger but it was handsome and Cas gave Dean his silent approval. 

Their conversation seemed heated. Dean tried to keep his volume down, from his seat even with the enhancements Cas possessed, it was hard to make out what they were saying. It didn't matter because the calm didn’t last long. K.C looked over at Cas and the guy became furious. 

“Is that him? They guy you blew me off for yesterday?” He stepped towards Cas and Dean stepped in his way placing a hand on his chest. This time the growl slipped out and he felt Charlie’s head swivel. He tried to cover with a cough but she’d caught it. 

“Dude, chill.” She laughed, “Dean can handle himself.”

Cas frowned, his gaze levelled on the arguing men but he nodded. His instincts were on high alert and his gums ached where his fangs sat retracted. Gabriel had made sure that he had the equipment to rip and tear human flesh. The hope that one day he would lose it and hurt his human. That had only happened once and it had scared Cas so badly he’d never done it again. He never lost control but right now was pushing at all that hard-won control. Temptation pushed at his mind, he wanted to stand by Dean’s side and protect him. It a primitive urge, he fought it. The effort kept him sat where he was.

"K.C, we’re not exclusive. You know that I made it clear. Don’t do this man okay? There’s no reason to make this a thing.”

For his candour, Dean revived a glare that could ignite a man on the spot. The big guy ran a hand over his face but he seemed he be angrier, not calmer. 

“Does he know that yesterday my hands were all over you? Huh? You’re a whore Dean and everyone knows it.” 

The group gasped collectively. The words had carried; everyone heard them. 

“That little shit!” Charlie cursed.

“Hey!” Kevin spat.

“No, just fucking no. Ash! Deal with that!” Meg added

Before the last word was uttered, Cas was moving. His breath came out slow and controlled because that was his default. He was going to stand there because Dean needed him, primal urges or not.

“Dude that was outta line.” Ash drawled. 

Dean couldn’t seem to find his words as Cas moved to his side. Cas had been a soldier for millennia and he stayed back so he was out of striking distance.

Some habits died, never. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked as his eyes found Dean's. Cas smiled, happy feelings swamping him. The nod was short and sharp but some of the colour returned to his face. What K.C said had shocked him. Anger pushed at the happy. 

“Jesus, that’s pathetic.” K.C flung in their direction. “You should know that he was begging for me yesterday like the little slut he is. You remember that Dean? Huh, my hand around your cock? Now your drooling over some preppy geek. Seriously? I thought you had standards.” 

Dean’s head whipped around and he glared at K.C. “You need to stop and go home before one of us takes it personally.” 

“Fuck you, Dean,” he replied, the words vicious. 

Then K.C did something he would regret for a week. He stepped into Cas’ personal space, grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him; hard. 

“He’ll come back, he always does.” K.C growled.

Cas skidded, not expecting the physical attack, not ready to retaliate. Too focused on Dean to defend himself though instinct. Dean hissed and grabbed Cas’ shoulder, his expression was full of rage and concern. 

“Cas!” he called, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” he said adjusting his shirt. Fury washed over him and the urge to rip the guy's throat out became overwhelming. 

A voice sounded from Cas’ left, “Excuse me? No one pushes my brother around but me.” 

Before anyone could react a fist flew at K.C's face. The snap was audible as Balthazar's knuckles collided with the large man’s jaw. He staggered into the wall and rubbed his face. It was a visible struggle for him to stay on his feet. The alcohol he'd consumed fought with the now developing mild concussion. 

Balthazar was still part angel and he forgot his own strength. It was lucky he’d held back or he would have snapped the guy's neck. 

“Fuck.” Dean breathed, “K.C are you-”

“Fuck off Dean.” The guy spat as he pushed through the doors into the kitchen.

“Cas?” are you okay?” Dean turned and took Cas' face in his hands. 

He beamed, “I am now.”

Dean pressed his forehead against Cas’. 

“Well, that was entertaining.” Balthazar said amused, “I can’t leave you alone for five minutes can I?”

Cas rolled his eyes and Dean laughed.

“Nice punch B.” Dean laughed as he turned to look at the angel.

Balthazar did something that he only reserved for Cas and Shel, he grinned. 

Dean winked, “That smile should be a felony.” 

Cas snorted as Balthazar raised his eyebrow at the flirting. 

Oh yeah, Dean was in.


	7. Sand Dunes in the Sahara

Dean was grinning as they made their way back to the group. 

“Dude, that was epic.” Charlie laughed as Balthazar sat amongst them. 

“He had it coming,” B replied.

“Yes, he did.” Added Cas.

Dean yawned, exhausted, “I can’t believe it. I wasn’t expecting him to go at you like that.” 

“Me either,” Cas said as he glanced at B, they shared a look.

Replaying it made Dean angry, “I should have reacted.” He scolded himself. He had fighting experience. He knew how to handle himself but Cas being there was like a dampener; plus the alcohol. He wasn’t expecting K.C to go off like that… shit. It could have been really bad. 

“It’s not your fault.” Cas smiled at him as he stroked his shoulder. 

Butterflies twitched in Dean’s stomach as the sexy man closed the gap between them. 

“Anyway...” Cas added, “B saved me, my knight in shining armour.” 

They all laughed as Balthazar rolled his eyes. 

“So he’s your brother?” Dean asked, “You didn’t mention that.”

Cas laughed, “Yeah, we have the same dad.”

“Oh.” Dean paused, “Your Mom?” 

“Not really in the picture.” 

“I’m sorry,” Dean replied with a frown.

“Don’t be we never knew her, so it’s no loss to us.”

“Cool.” Dean yawned again, “I’m beat.”

“Can I walk you home?”

Dean grinned and his body lit up at Cas pushed a flirtations smile his way. 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

"Eager much?" Meg laughed

"Shut up Meg" Dean shot back

Saying goodbye took a moment then they began the walk back to Dean's place.

Dean was shivering about five minutes into the journey. 

“Here take mine.” Cas shrugged off his long wool overcoat and put it over Dean’s shoulders. 

“I feel like such a Damsel. Between you and B I’m practically a princess.” He laughed.

“You could have handled it.” Cas smiled, “You don’t need anyone to rescue you, Dean.”

Dean’s heart fluttered, Jesus, could the guy get any more perfect?

“I was annoyed because I’ve been studying martial arts forever. I never get caught off guard but tonight was so wired…”

“Yeah, I hope that guy is okay… B has a mean right hook.” 

“Yeah, remind me not to piss him off?”

“Sure but I don’t need too, he likes you.”

Dean was surprised and his face showed it, Cas laughed. 

“He doesn’t like many people but if he smiles at you, you’re in.”

Dean chuckled, “Awesome.” Frowning he added, “How are you not cold?”

Shrugging, Cas replied, “I don’t feel it so much, don’t worry about me.”

A thought passed through Dean’s mind but he couldn’t quite catch it. Cas smiled and then it was gone completely. 

“This is me…” Dean said as they met the steps to his home. 

“I know.” Cas grinned. 

“Yes, you do… sorry, you make me forget how to… words, in an order that doesn’t sound ridiculous.”

Laughing Cas pulled him close by the lapel of his own coat and kissed Dean hard. Fireworks, angelic symphonies, thunder, lightning and that was the tip of the iceberg. Dean was a mess as their tongues collided as he pressed himself into Cas. 

“Fuck.” He panted hard as Cas pulled away. 

“My thoughts exactly.” 

Dean suddenly felt very conscious of K.C's hurtful words and he grimaced. 

“What's wrong Dean?” Cas asked. There was a promise under the words as if he would kiss him simply to wipe the bad thought from his mind. Could you love someone in a day? Sure as shit felt like it. His heart was pounding like he’d run a marathon and he was horny as all hell. 

“What K.C said…? I erm…”

“I don’t care.” Cas whispered, “I don’t care who… I want you. All of you. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I’ve known you… forever.”

Dean grinned, “Not crazy at all.” Reaching out he took Cas’ hand, “You wanna…?”

“Come in for coffee? Yes, Dean. I would like that.”

“You’re so formal sometimes, why is that?” 

“Home-schooled, our father educated us himself and he was… older.” 

“Ah, right.” 

They climbed the steps and Dean opened the door. The heat was a shock but he adjusted quickly. Shrugging off Cas coat he hung it on the rack over the radiator to keep warm. His plan was, get a drink or something and press his luck. He wanted to see this guy naked and felt no shame in it at all. A craving was throbbing under his ribs, a clawing need to be close, as close as two people could be.

His plan went to all hell when Cas moved in behind him and pressed his groin against Dean’s ass. His eyes fluttered closed he sank into the sensation. Fuck…fuck…

“Cas?” He whispered.

“Yeah?” the words were on his ear. 

Cas’ lips were on his ear. Shivers took his body into near spasm. He’d never been this horny in his life. 

“How do you play?”

Cas grinned, Dean felt it before Cas’ hands gripped his hips and he crushed his solid cock into Dean’s ass. 

“Where you’re concerned, I don’t mind but usually, top.”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. Holy shit, this guy was amazing. Sparks flicked over his skin and he moaned. 

“Good.” 

Almost like Cas read his mind he added, “I also I being in control. I can be a little bit… bossy.”

“Holy fuck…” Dean groaned. Cas punctuated the words by wrapping his hand lightly around his throat. 

“If you feel safe? I’d like to fuck you every way I’ve been thinking about since I saw your beautiful face in my Dreams.”

“Yes.” That was the only word Dean could say. It was insane, he knew that. Usually, it took time to learn trust and kinks but Cas had figured him out in a half a second. The world could end right now and he would never know it because all he could see was the route to his bed. All he could feel was Cas at his back. The feel of his hand running over his waist and travelling down to glide the barest of touches over his cock, shit. 

“Please.”

“Where is your room?”

Dean’s eyes flew open and he spun on the spot to face those stunning blue eyes, “Follow me.”

Cas did and they fell through his bedroom door in a heap of hands, of flying clothes and deep wet kisses. Their faces separated for moments at a time and Dean hated it. Every second he wasn’t kissing Cas was like the worst moment of his life. He was a mass of solid, unwavering need. The world was Cas’ hands, Cas’ lips, his hips. When they were finally naked and he lay on top of him in his full naked glory and Dean felt like he was going to die. Cas was his air and he needed him. 

“Fuck me.” Dean panted out between Cas kissing his lips and his neck. 

“I don’t want to hurt-”

“In the drawer-”

Cas bent over and his cock brushed Dean’s. The tremor that rocked him was like nothing he could put into words. No words existed for that feeling he was sure. 

Cas grabbed the lube and protection, Dean growled. It was primal and almost painful, grabbing the offending foil packet he threw it across the room. 

“No, I need to feel you.” He whined and Cas simply nodded. 

Dean was on his back; his sheets were a warm presence on his skin. Cas hovered and worked his cock slick while his mouth found Dean’s nipple. Dean’s back arched off the bed and he groaned his frustration through gritted teeth. His hands found Cas’ perfectly sculpted shoulders, good god this guy was like a work of art.  
A thick finger ran over Dean’s tight bud and suddenly the world was a blinding flash of rainbow colours. 

“Oh, Cas… holy shit.”

“Do you like that Dean?”

“Oh god…”

“Say my name.”

“Cas… please…”

Dean opened his eyes to watch the smile flash across Cas’ face and he melted. The finger pressed into his tight hole and slid right in. 

“Dean… fuck you’re amazing.” The second finger pushed in and Dean dug his fingers into Cas’ shoulders. He clutched Cas' hand that lay on his thigh and moved it to his cock. 

Cas smiled, “Maybe it should be a little higher?”

Dean raised his eyebrow and then shuddered as Cas’ large hand wrapped around his neck. The squeeze was firm but not painful and Dean nearly came. How the fuck did he know what he liked? Jesus, it was like the guy was inside his head. 

“Tap out if it’s too much okay?” Cas said, his voice full of care and concern. Then he was right back in the zone and increasing the pressure on Dean's neck. 

Dean watched as Cas knelt between his legs working his fingers in and out. 

“Oh god…”

Cas leaned in, kissed him hard then whispered into his ear, “I’m going to push my cock inside you slowly and you’re going to feel every inch.”

Dean’s cock twitched as it touched Cas’ stomach and he moaned again. Heaven was this moment right here, shit. 

The press of Cas’ hard cock into his ass was bliss. 

“Oh, Cas…”

“Dean… Jesus…”

With each inch, Dean felt closer to euphoria. The stretch, the pressure and Cas’ ocean blues staring into his was everything he’d ever dreamt about. Love? No. There wasn’t a word for this. As Cas bottomed out Dean felt something akin to a click, like a key in a lock. Peace fell over him, like floating in a lake of pure light in the wake of the happiest moment of your life, forever. Cas moved and he was back in euphoria, writhing underneath the sexy artist. 

“Yes. More.”

Cas rolled his hips and thrust harder, then took Dean's full bottom lip between his teeth and Dean groaned. Pushing his body up, Cas took Dean’s cock in his hand and caressed him until he was on the edge. 

“Cas… I’m so close…”

“Me too…” 

Cas pounded him and the muscles clenched in his ass. It was so good, so, so good. 

Dean felt the blast of orgasm smash through him. It brought with it a typhoon of emotions he didn’t even know he could feel. 

Cas gasped as he came. The full body shudders made Dean twitch around him and they both writhed and panted together. Cas filled his ass with his hot release and Dean’s eyes rolled back into his head.

“Holy… mother… of… god…” he whispered. The tremors pulsed through his body, unrelenting. 

Cas rolled off to the side and lay with his head on Dean’s chest. 

The silence was comfortable, only punctuated by heavy breathing and exclamation of disbelief. 

“Cas?” Dean asked when he became curious. 

“Yes, Dean.” 

“How are you so amazing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Cas grinned

Dean raised his eyebrow as Cas looked up at him.

“I’m an angel.” 

Dean laughed, “Hahaha”

Cas smiled, “You asked.” 

“Cas?” 

“Yes, Dean.” 

“Will you stay?”

“Sleep here?”

Dean nodded.

“Of course Dean.”

Sleep found them not long after and Dean was sucked into a very strange dream.

Darkness... but there were voices. 

“Shel?” 

“Yes, Cas?”

“Why do you like the stars so much?”

Suddenly Dean could see the sky, a billion stars that could only be viewed from the darkest places on earth. Dean had an inner knowledge. He knew that these two people were not of his time. They were from a time in which electric lighting had not destroyed the wonder of the sky at night. He was looking out of his eyes, but not his eyes. As his head turned he saw Cas but his hair was thick and long in a braid that touched the floor. 'Pretty', Dean thought. A sensory memory washed over him, all that hair draped over his body as he was fucked from behind… wow. Then it was gone. 

“They’re like promises…” Dean said, but he wasn’t him. 

“Promises?”

“Yes. Every star is something unknown; it could be anything or nothing. We can never go and see so… it promises. Potential. It can be whatever you would like it to be.”

Cas smiled and it was full of love, “What if stars were other worlds? Like the sun that shines in the sky but so far away they we’re simply specs of light?”

Dean considered it, “If there were other suns, there would be other planets?”

Cas nodded. 

“Then they are even more of a promise.”

Cas smiled, “How so?”

“They hold the promise of life, of adventure. If I had wings, I would like to fly to the stars Castiel. I wish to see what is out there in the darkness. Would you come with me?”

Dean felt Cas at his back and his arms wrap around him as he lay between his legs. The high red sand dune provided an uncompromised view of the sky. It was amazing. 

“Yes, Shel. I’d follow you anywhere, in this or any life.”

Dean grinned and settled into Cas’ chest. 

“Promise me you’ll always find me Cas?”

“I promise.”

“Good because I will always find you.”

Dean had never felt so at peace, or so loved. The Dream faded and he slept wrapped in Cas’ arms.


	8. Suspicious Minds

Cas woke to an empty bed, not his bed. Grinning, he rolled over. The chaise had a pair of sweatpants with a note that said ‘for you, I’m downstairs making coffee.’

  
The contented sigh he released was long. Cas never thought he’d be this happy ever again. Pulling on the sweats he made his way downstairs. Halfway down his bliss was interrupted by harsh voices and he paused to listen in.

  
“I don’t understand what your problem is Ash,” Dean whispered trying to keep his voice low.

“You don’t know this guy, Dean.” he huffed, “Can you really not see my point?

“No.”

“You’ve known the guy 48 hours, it’s like he has you under some kind of spell!”

“You’re so fucking paranoid Ash, seriously. How about I’m happy? How about Cas is just smart and funny and kind? Jesus, I thought you were over this weird obsession with me.”

“That is not what this is about!” Ash spat, “You’re my friend. I have to keep you safe. I don’t want you to get hurt!”

“I know it’s moving fast okay…” Dean added, his tone was soft, placating, “I know and I’m not stupid, I’m not oblivious. Can you just trust me? I know how to look after myself.”

“It’s just weird.”

“I know, I do... but it feels, right. Charlie mentioned it too okay, please, trust me?”

Ash sighed, “Fine, but if I think something is wrong I will tell you, okay? I’m not going to let you date some sort of monster.”

“Cas might be a little interesting but he’s not a monster dude, just chill. You’re getting worked up over nothing.”

“Good morning,” Cas said, louder than necessary as he stepped into the room.

“Hey,” Dean said with a grin.

“Castiel.”

“Ash.”

Ash looked him over and noted the sweats.

“So he’s wearing your clothes now?” There was a bite to the words.

Dean rolled his eyes, “He slept here, Jesus. Stop.”

“I’m sorry if I upset you, Ash,” Cas said walking over and snuggling his face into Dean's neck.

“I’m leaving now.” Ash declared as Dean turned and kissed Cas.

Pancakes were cooling. Dean was arranging them on a plate. Cas admired the view, he was dressed in sweats that were black and not the grey Cas had on. Sexy in anything.

“He’s worried about you?”

Dean looked over with wide eyes, “You heard that huh?”

Cas nodded, “Yes. I understand it, this is fast. B has his own concerns…”

“We're not crazy are we?”

“If we are then we’re crazy together and I’m good with that,” Cas replied with a grin.

“They’ll get over it.” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, they probably will.”

“How did you sleep?”

Cas yawned, “Really well, usually I’m more of a night owl. Mornings are not my thing but today was the best I’ve felt in a long time.” 

“Me too, I slept like a rock. The dream was weird though… it felt super real. It was probably stress induced.” He laughed.

“Dream?” Cas asked.

“Oh, nothing… you were in it though.”

“Now your dreaming about me, fantastic.” Cas grinned.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Well it was you but you were different? Your hair was long, like down to your ass and I was me but not… you know how dreams are…”

Cas seemed intrigued, “What were we doing?” 

“You really wanna know?” Dean asked. 

“I would like to know everything about you, Dean.” Cas said as he smiled. 

“Okay.” 

Dean threw a sexy lopsided smile his way and his cock reacted with a throb. 

“So we were looking at the stars, which isn’t weird because I love astronomy but we were sitting in the desert. We were looking at a sky that it isn’t possible to see. It was amazing. You could see galaxies and everything. It was really… nice.” 

Cas blinked slowly at him and then laughed, “Wow, that sounds so interesting. Long hair huh?”

Dean nodded as he ate a pancake and then passed the plate over to Cas.

“Yeah, it was hot.”

Cas wrapped his arms around the taller man from the side, “I might have to grow it out then.”

Dean laughed, “I love you the way you are-”

Cas froze. Dean froze.

“I’m sorry; I… don’t know what-”

“I love you too.” Cas interrupted him. Dean backed away, embarrassment pushing a blush up into his face.

“You don’t have to say that, it’s been two days and it’s insane. I just slipped.”

Cas walked towards him and took his warm face in his cool hands, “I don’t care how insane it is. I think I’m in love with you Dean. I think we were meant to be.”

Dean frowned and then melted. Closing his eyes was a surrender and Cas pressed his lips softly against Dean’s.

“We’re nuts you know that?”

Cas chuckled, “I don’t care. All I know is I want you, I want to be with you and nothing is going to stop me but you.”

Dean pulled him into a hug, “I feel the same. Like we’re meant to be… I get it.”

Cas stepped away and grabbed another pancake, “What time is it?”

Dean pointed to the clock on the wall.

“Shit!” Cas cursed, “I am so late.”

“For?”

“The gallery I’m supposed to be meeting a potential buyer.”

“This quickly?”

“Yeah, it’s not unheard of. People like pictures of pretty things.” Cas grinned and Dean blushed.

“Call me?” Dean said as he moved in for another kiss.

“I will message you every second I get the opportunity.”

“No playing hard to get huh?”

“With you? Never.”

Dean laughed, “Go, go sell things.”

Cas kissed him back and ran upstairs, dressed in two minutes and then finished with a peck on the lips and a goodbye.

It wasn’t far from his loft and he ran in, changed quickly, downed a shot of blood and called Balthazar.

“I am on my way!”

“The client is two minutes out!”

“I know that B, I have five messages from you.”

“I hope the sex was worth it.” Balthazar scolded.

“Yes, it was.” Cas shot back.

“Actually, that’s too much information. I take it back.”

Cas grinned, “I will literally be five minutes, stall them.”

He grabbed his coat and ran for the gallery.

The client was already there as he walked in.

“Hello,” Cas called.

Balthazar turned, “Ah yes, finally.”

“Castiel. This Jenifer Wallace, she is interested in the main piece.”

“Hello.” She said taking the outstretched hand.

“Pleasure. Thank you for coming all the way out here. Balthazar said you were in New York?”

“Yes, it’s fine, really.” She smiled, “I was visiting my husband, he works in the city occasionally and I have to fly to Montreal for a family thing so it wasn’t too far out of the way.”

“Well, I appreciate you taking the time.”

The woman was of average height, around fifty and well dressed. The short blond hair framed kind eyes. Cas liked her instantly, there was a shrewdness about her; she was smarter than she let on.

“Come this way,” Cas said and lead the way.

They rounded the corner and she stopped.

“That is something isn’t it?” She said with a smile.

Cas grinned, “Thank you.”

“And you saw this man in a dream?”

Nodding, Cas stepped back to admire Dean’s face, “I did.”

“You hadn’t met him before?” she asked her face inquisitive and open. She seemed genuinely interested in the story. Some people love art because of the story behind it.

Cas laughed, “No, well not that I remembered but as it turns out, he is real. I met him a few days ago.”

“My word, that is exciting.” She laughed, “And is he as pretty as his picture?”

Cas blushed, “Yes, he is.”

“So maybe you had seen him somewhere? The memory is such a remarkable thing don’t you agree?”

“I do."

She walked closer, “The lines are amazing. You really are very talented.”

“Thank you.”

She took a bottle of water out of her bag and sipped it, “I don’t want to pry but how did it feel meeting him, your muse?”

Cas took a step toward the painting, “Better than I imagined.”

Jennifer followed him and tripped, the water splashed on Cas’ hand.

“I am so sorry!” she called, “I’m so clumsy.”

“It’s only water.” Cas said, “I’ll dry.”

She laughed at him, “You're such a lovely young man Castiel.”

“Thank you.”

They spoke about the painting and Dean for a while longer and then she wrote a check and left.

“Sold huh?” Balthazar asked.

“Yes, for more than I asked. She said it reminded her of her husband in his youth.”

“Lucky she saw it then huh?”

“Her friend works at Harvard and came to the show, they thought she’d be interested.”

“That’s good.” Balthazar checked his watch, “I have to go to class.”

“See you later?”

“Sure.”

B left and Cas pulled out his phone to message Dean. He replied in seconds, he had a free day. Cas couldn’t resist spending more time with him and invited him over to the loft.

Cas was a very tidy person, the space was spotless as Dean arrived.

“Wow, this is something,” Dean said as he walked through the industrial metal door.

Cas smiled, “Thanks. We have family money so it’s mine.”

“That’s amazing,” Dean added as he walked over to kiss him.

“Isn't it?” Cas gave him a look that said he was talking about Dean.

“Maybe, but I was talking about the bed.” he laughed.

Cas turned and looked over his shoulder.

“Ah yes.”

“Where did you get that?” The words were full of awe.

“It was a family heirloom.” He said, “I couldn’t bear to part with it.”

Dean walked around the huge four poster bed and ran his fingers over the engravings, “Cas, this is… I don’t have words.”

“Our great - great… whatever grandfather was a carpenter.” Cas ran his hand over the carvings. It was a small lie. Cas had carved it himself a few hundred years before.

“Are these, angels?”

Cas nodded, “Yes. It's how I imagine heaven would be.”

The carvings were of his brothers and sisters in their human vessels surrounded by heavens light and the gardens of Eden.

“It’s… wow…

Cas smiled, then shuddered as Dean walked around his bed.

“It is.”

Dean looked up, “What?… Oh.”

Lust rolled through him and he strode over to Dean and slammed his lips against Dean’s in a searing kiss.

“Get on the bed Dean.”

“Sure Cas.” He smiled and fell backwards on to the soft mattress. The red sheets made his tan glow and Cas became insatiable.

“Undo your Jeans,” Cas ordered and Dean did. Lifting his t-shirt to expose a delectable section of stomach and hips. Cas was salivating.

“Ouch, fuck.” Dean groaned.

“Are you-” The smell hit him like a tidal wave stopping the sentence in its tracks. Warm dark chocolate with a cinnamon edge consumed his senses.

“Do you have a band-aid?” Dean asked, “I caught my finger on the-”

Cas crawled over the bed and took Dean’s hand in his.

“What are you?”

“Go with it?” Cas growled and Dean seemed unsure but nodded.

Lifting Dean’s right hand up he placed the bleeding finger slowly in his mouth. His saliva was full of endorphins and Dean’s eyes fluttered closed as his tongue met the wound.

“Why is that so good?” Dean whispered.

“Because you want my mouth around your cock.”

“Fuck yes I do. You’re so kinky… it so hot.”

Cas let the blood bouquet roll over his tongue and it was like a five-course meal laced with heroin. Bliss, perfection… fuck. His fangs pushed at his gums but a deep breath later helped him maintain his calm. Holy shit he even tasted like Shel.

Cas let Dean's hand go and kissed him, “There, all better.”

Dean simply groaned as Cas rubbed his cock through his Jeans. Removing the offending belt, Cas slid to his knees between Dean’s legs. The material was slack enough that he could release his throbbing, hard dick without too much manoeuvring. Once it was in his hand he placed his lips over Dean’s head and watched him hiss.

“Holy fucking shit Cas.”

Dean's cock was solid and warm between his lips. He sucked and licked until Dean clawed at the sheets.

“I’m so close… shit, shit…”

“Cum for me. I want to taste you.” Cas whispered.

Dean’s hips bucked and Cas squeezed the base of his length as it played over his tongue. Tensing, Dean shuddered. Cas licked the soft tip of his cock as Dean's warm cum filled his mouth.

“Oh, Cas… oh… right… yes…”

Spent, Cas watched the sexy man relax into his sheets.

“Oh my god.” Dean whispered, “ You are so good at that.”

Cas grinned, "Thanks,” then added, "You're so hot it's a pleasure to have any part of you in my mouth.”

Dean shuddered, “I think I just came again.”

Cas laughed, "Are you okay for a second? I have to do some paperwork for this buyer.”

“You sold my face huh? Which part?

“All of it.” Cas laughed

“The collection?” Dean asked wide-eyed.

“No, the main piece.”

Cas walked over to his desk and turned it on. Sitting, he loaded his emails and listened to Dean compose himself. Moments later strong arms wrapped around him as he typed the invoice out. He liked to keep everything recorded, tidy and controlled.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“Why are you sending an invoice with parents address on it?”

Cas froze, “What?”

“That address is my…” Dean groaned, “The woman what did she look like?”

“How did you know it was a woman?

“Let me guess? Blonde, about yay high, looks like Prada threw up on her?” He said gesturing with his hand to his mid-chest.

Cas laughed “Apt. Yes.”

“Fuck. My mom brought my face.” He grimaced.


	9. It was the best of times, it was the worst of time

“Why would she use a false name?” Cas asked as they sat on his sofa.

“She wanted to check you out. I’m going to kill my sister.”

Cas laughed, “That’s a long way to come to check me out. I’ve only known you for two days.”

Dean felt a little nauseous, “I should tell you a little about my family, you know I said they’re loaded?”

Nodding, Cas lifted his lemon tea to his lips, “Yes.”

Wincing, Dean looked at him, “They’re like 'oil baron' rich.”

Cas’ eyes went wide.

“...and they’re overprotective. So, the picture and the slight obsession we seem to have will have hit their radar”

  
Cas laughed, “Well I don’t need your money, Dean… just you.”

  
Dean grinned and snuggled into his shoulder, “Phew, also, I hate you for painting my face fifteen feet high. That will be in the hall at home, thanks for that.”

Cas laughed, "How about I donate all the proceedings to charity? You choose.”

Dean stared, “What did she pay for it?”

“A hundred thousand,” Cas said and Dean choked on his coffee.

“Wow.” He exclaimed, “…and you’d donate it, just like that?”

Cas nodded, “Yes, like I said I don’t need the money.”

Laughing, Dean kissed Cas’ cheek.

Dean relaxed somewhere deep down. The money was always a worry. It had happened before. Someone would seek him out after they found out who he was but Cas really seemed unconcerned with it. He never spoke about it and his bed was worth more than the loft it was in. Dean knew antiques and art, his mom was obsessed and if she saw it… best keep her away. Though her coming here meant she was worried. To check Cas out personally…? He’d be having words with Charlie and Ash, they’d obviously tattled.

“I need to make a call.” He said standing, “It’ll be quick I just have to yell at some people.”

Cas laughed, “I’ll be here.”

Dean moved over to the bed and sat, his Mom picked up on the second ring.

“Dean! Baby! How are you?”

“Don’t ‘Dean Baby' me Mom, I know you’re in town. Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’ve been scouting out my…” Dean paused, unsure of what to call Cas.

“…your new love interest. Of course, I expected you to find out. I raised you, I know how smart you are sweetheart but we have to think of the family as well as you.”

“So?” Dean asked, “Does he check out?”

His Mom sighed, “Yes hunni, he does. He’s very normal, with family money of his own. His brother has a few minor incidents with fighting but nothing we would worry about.”

“Mom, you can’t-”

“I can Dean and I will because you are my son and I love you.”

“Fine. Who told?”

“Ash shared his, concerns.”

“I’m going to-”

“Do nothing Dean Winchester, that’s his job.”

“I don’t need a bodyguard at college Mom, I keep telling you. Ash is like carrying around a loaded gun. He’s unstable.”

“Nonsense, his crush makes him useful. More responsive to your safety.”

“That’s so wrong Mom, you know that right?”

He could hear her shrugging, Jesus; they had no idea how to be normal.

“When are you leaving?”

“In an hour. I have a meeting in Canada.”

“Okay, we'll see you next month?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Your brother says to call him about your trip.”

“Will do Mom.”

“I love you son.”

“Love you too.”

He hung up and cursed. Damn them. His next call to Ash who didn’t pick up.  
When Dean came to college, they’d let him come alone. They brought the house he lived in so as to control his environment, they moved Ash in to be his babysitter. This was after they received threats on his life. They ran a full background check on Cas and his brother. Shaking his head he made his way back to Cas. Nope, no normal here.

“Is everything okay?”

“Family… they’re annoying.”

Cas laughed and folded his arms around Dean. Peace flowed over him as Cas' chest met his back.

“So did I check out?”

Dean flinched, his stomach rolled. Pulling forward he looked at the man he was falling for, “What?”

Cas smiled as Dean moved further away so they could talk face to face.

“I have an algorithm in place that alerts me of any background checks, no matter who does them. Balthazar has a gift for computers, like Charlie. I was alerted when they ran the check.”

Dean gaped, “Who are you two? Seriously.”

Chuckling Cas replied, “We have money to Dean… you can never be too careful. You shouldn’t be so hard on them. They love you.”

Dean stared. Yep, perfect. Meg was right; he was in way over his head.

The day flew by in a blur of flirting, movies and laughter. They didn’t leave the loft. Dean slept in Cas’ bed and again, he dreamt of the desert and Cas with the long hair.

Dean and Cas settled into a routine over the following days and days migrated into weeks. They would go to class and alternate who’s place they slept at. All their friends fell in line with the new arrangement, even Ash who seemed placated by his Mom’s intervention.

Tonight was their first formal event as a couple. Dean was getting ready for the galleries closing Gala in which Cas’ portraits were held. Balthazar had helped him pick the suit and it was worth it to see Cas’ eyes glaze over with lust as he dressed. The tux was moulded to his body, the jet black giving him a suave appearance.

“I could eat you.” Cas groaned from the bed.

“Gross.” B heckled from the sofa.

“Why are you here again?” Cas asked him.

“Erm, because Dean asked me to be. So, shut up Castiel.”

“Really?” Cas glared at Dean who laughed.

“He gets lonely. I’ve stolen you.”

“He does not get lonely at all. He played you.”

“I am too lonely. So lonely, and sad and blue…” Balthazar replied.

Cas rolled his eyes, “B, I will have sex with Dean in front of you if you’re still here when we get back. I swear.”

Balthazar turned from his place on the sofa and looked at Cas, “I love how you think I wouldn’t watch simply to annoy you.”

Dean snorted.

“You’re incorrigible.” Cas cursed.

“I’m a voyeur.” He said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Dean had a stitch in his ribs from laughing so hard.

“Dean, please don’t make him worse… honestly… he doesn’t need it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one threatening to have sex with me in front of him to prove a point… although it would be hilarious to watch his face as I slid my huge, hard-”

“Stop! I’m going! For the love of- Just stop. I’m leaving.” Balthazar stood brushing crumbs from his long coat.

Dean and Cas were still laughing as he slammed the door behind him.

“Poor B, that was mean.” Dean giggled.

“Well done, I’ll have to use that.”

Dean shrugged, "Awesome, but we’re late.”

“Shit," Cas said as he grabbed his coat.

Dean was blissful as Cas held his hand, the cold air had less of a chill than a few weeks ago. Honestly, he’d never been happier. Life had a rhythm that felt right.

The party was formal, hence the tuxes. Cas and Dean moved around the room as a couple. They spoke to other artists, staff and buyers. Music played, something classical that Dean couldn’t quite put his finger on but it was nice.

He spent an hour watching Cas move through the crowd. The man was a god. He smiled and did small talk like a politician but with such kindness and care that people took to him instantly. The tux fit like a second skin and was black with satin lapels. The black shirt took Cas from his usual stunning to devastating. Women and men alike were flirting with him but Cas simply smiled and glanced over at Dean. People recognised him from his portrait and instantly gasped at the likeness. Dean had never had so much fun watching people.

When K.C entered the party Dean’s stomach sunk. They hadn’t seen each other for weeks except for practice and even then the tall man avoided him. Maybe he should talk to him?  
Then he decided against it. If K.C wanted to talk he knew where he was. He’d been the dick, not Dean and it wasn’t up to him to rebuild those bridges. His ex-friend was accompanied by a woman that Dean knew to be his mother, she was on the Harvard board of directors. He should have known he would be here but he’d been so lost in the world of him and Cas nothing had entered his bliss bubble. His heart leapt into his throat when Mrs Carlyle spotted him and waved. Dean smiled as she made her way over, shit. K.C objected but she seemed to placate him and wandered over on his arm.

“Dean, darling. How are you?” She said pulling him in for a hug.

“Good, Mrs Carlyle and you?”

“Yes, I'm well, thank you.”

“K.C,” Dean said with a brief smile.

“Dean.” He replied, firmly and lacking anger. Maybe he was over it?

“I saw you at last week's game Dean, you’re so fabulously talented. Are you sure you don’t want to transfer to Harvard.”

“Mom!” K.C chastised her.

“I’m joking son.” She smiled and rolled her eyes, “I know Dean has other ambitions.”

“Thank you for the offer again Mrs Carlyle.” Dean smiled, “I’m happy where I am.”

She grinned, “So I’ve heard. K.C tells me you’re dating an artist. Is he here?”

Dean smiled and she gasped, “Dean Winchester, are you in love?”

He couldn’t help but blush and felt awkward as K.C rolled his eyes. Thankfully his boyfriend was a gift from God and interrupted them.

“Cas!” Dean said as he grabbed his arm like a life raft, “You remember K.C? And this is-”

“Samantha Carlyle, I didn’t make the connection.”

“Castiel Novak, I should have put the two together. I saw the portrait briefly but yes I understand now. Well done Mr Novak, your pieces are stunning.”

Dean was confused and Cas noticed. “Our estate donates to the college art faculty, it’s a historical thing so occasionally we email. Samantha helped me to get into Harvard.”

“Small world.” Dean laughed.

“Very.”

“Dean Darling, come and get a drink with me I’d like to discuss Castiel here with someone who knows him well. He’s a bit of a mystery, this one.”

Cas laughed and nodded, “Go, you know what I like.”

Amazingly Dean did, it was like he could look at things and know what Cas would and wouldn’t eat or drink. It was so weird but also nice. Mrs Carlyle linked his arm and dragged him up to the mezzanine where the bar and the buffet had been laid out.  
She chatted into his ear and asked him inane questions about Cas. He kept the answers vague and playful. The woman was nice but a bit of a gossip.  
They were looking at the wine list when Dean glanced over the balcony. Cas was facing him as he spoke to K.C, he watched for a moment to make sure he was alright. Cas saw him watching and smiled reassuringly.

The list was complicated but Dean picked something deep and red for Cas, he liked his wine Italian and dark. Mrs Carlyle had transferred over to the buffet and Dean glanced down at Cas again. Freezing when he couldn’t find him Dean tried to slow the panic, you're overreacting he told his racing heart. Scanning the crowd took a good minute and he found them. Cas with K.C exiting through a fire escape. Shit. Dean examined the mass of people; he’d never get out there in time. The balcony, Cas had taken him out there for the view once. There was a fire escape from it, which would be quicker. Turning, he darted through the end door and out into the darkness.

The sound was distorted by his position being a storey higher than them. Dean couldn’t hear but he could see perfectly well. The conversation seemed heated, what had happened to make it escalate so quickly? Dean was about to shout Cas but as his hands found the balcony rail he froze. He couldn’t see K.C’s face but could see Cas’ fine. The usually calm and kind man was furious. Dean felt sick, he’d never seen that expression on Cas, it was rage, pure and simple. It twisted his beautiful features into something almost unrecognisable. Time slowed down as he stood unable to move and watched the events unfold.

Cas snarled as K.C’s fist flew at his face. Dean wanted to look away, he couldn't watch Cas get hurt but he couldn’t look away. It was like a train wreck you can see coming but can’t stop. K.C’s fist stopped and it took a second for Dean’s brain to figure out what had just happened, it had been so fast. Time sped back up and Cas was holding the larger man’s fist like he was a child. Dean heard his name. Cas turned and K.C went with him. Cas growled. It was a deep set inhuman sound and Dean shuddered. Nausea rolled through him and then everything slammed to a halt as the light hit K.C’s face, his eyes were black. Dean did a double take. Solid black, the pupils had taken over the rest. What the hell... Cas took K.C by the throat and shoved him against the wall like it was nothing.

“B!” Cas yelled.

Balthazar appeared from nowhere and placed his hand on K.C’s shoulder. The guy was thrashing as Cas spoke, the words were distorted but it sounded like chanting. Balthazar held K.C until black smoke foamed out of his mouth. Dean watched with wide eyes until it was finished. A white light surrounded K.C and then he stood up seemingly confused.  
Cas said something and Balthazar led the taller man inside. Cas paced the length of the alleyway and screamed a raged filled roar of sound. It was utterly terrifying, he turned and Dean saw his face. Spots appeared in his vision as his brain tried to process what he was seeing. Cas' eyes were glowing white and his teeth were elongated, sharp. Then in an instant, it was Cas again. Was he going insane? No, this couldn't be real.

Dean was shaking as he took a step back from the balcony. Turning, he threw up his dinner on the gravel. The heavy panting turned into a full-blown panic; he had to get out of there. He pushed through the door with his head spinning. Cas found him on the stairs. Dean must have looked as bad as he felt because Cas didn’t touch him. His expression was concerned but Dean could only see the inhuman thing he had turned into. Pain smashed into his chest.

“Dean?”

“I have... have to go.” Dean whispered, “I don’t… Don’t feel well…”

“I’ll come-”

“No!” Dean snapped, “No, you stay, I’ll call you later.”

Cas nodded.

Dean turned as his heart shattered, “Don’t come over okay… I don’t... I'll call you...” He tried for a smile but couldn’t get Cas’ glowing eyes out of his mind.

Cas frowned and added, “Okay Dean. Whatever you need.”

Then, he ran.


	10. The only way out is through.

Dean hadn’t been himself last night. The memory played over and over in Cas mind, had he done something? Or was Dean telling the truth and he simply felt unwell? His adrenaline had been through the roof and looked hot, food poisoning maybe?

Balthazar had tried to call Dean this morning and so had Cas. They’d both received texts saying he was fine and not to worry, he was resting.

Cas couldn’t help but worry, the expression on his face had been… wrong. He’d never seen it on Shel and couldn't place it but it definitely wasn’t happy. His blood pressure had been… insane and Cas was genuinely worried. He’d tried to call and then felt a little stalkerish so had backed off. Dean would come to him, hopefully. He spent an hour pacing his loft and then another hour walking the streets. Nothing would settle the churning in his gut. The anxiety was causing him to be twitchy. He tried thinking of other things but nothing worked, so he walked some more. Last night had been disturbing on all fronts and Cas wanted to go over it with B. A demon had possessed that boy. Possessions were rare and to have one so close to them? It felt like some was messing with them. He wouldn’t put it past Gabriel, was this the end game? Had he done something to Dean? Cas had a thousand questions, no answers and no way to get any. Five hours of trekking the Massachusetts river way and a sunset later, it was time to go to the coffee place to meet Balthazar.

“How is the boy?” Cas asked as he sipped his tea.

“Better, I made sure he can’t remember.”

“You look exhausted.”

“Says you. You look like hammered shit.”

“Thank you. I feel it.”

The angel was pale and drawn, “Every time I have to use my powers… it’s like I feel a little bit less, me. I swear if we ever catch up with Gabriel I’m going to kill him.”

“Get in line,” Cas said with a grimace.

“What the hell did the Demon want?”

Cas scowled, “Dean. They can see his light… I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before… but then, how often would he cross paths with demons?”

“Never? We threw most of them back into hell.”

“Yeah… it was just, strange. I’m glad K.C is well. He didn’t deserve to be possessed.”

“He kinda deserved to be possessed,” B added with a smile.

“You are so bad.”

“You were thinking it.”

“Maybe.” Cas smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

The worry churned in his gut and B was staring at him.

“He’ll be fine, give him some space. Humans get sick, just chill out.”

“I’m completely transparent aren’t I?”

“Only to me little brother.”

Cas raised his eyebrow, “You’re worried too?”

“Maybe.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Balthazar added with a nervous roll of his shoulders.

Shit indeed.

They discussed their theories for an hour before the text came in. Cas heart started to thud in his chest.

“Finally!”

“Dean?”

Cas nodded, “He’s at my place.”

“You gave him a key?”

“Told him where the spare was hidden.”

“Right.”

“I have to go B, see you later?”

“Sure. If you need me…”

“Yeah… I know.”

The shaking started in his hands and migrated to the rest of him as he walked back to his home. Cas strode carefully into the dark loft to find Dean sitting on the floor, knees bent with his back to the bed. The tension was palatable, what the hell was wrong? Cas trembled, something was definitely very, very wrong.

“Dean?”

“Leave the light. I have a headache.”

“Okay.”

Cas could see him, the street light coming through the window was like having a lamp on. Standing, talking to him from this far away in the dark felt strange but he couldn’t make his feet move. Every instinct he had was screaming at him to be ready. The part that worshipped Dean was demanding he move and see what was wrong. The soldier in him wouldn’t budge. Danger, do not move, it echoed like a siren in his mind.

The silence was deafening and he swallowed hard.

“Dean?” Cas repeated, attempting to prompt the conversation. Whatever it was he could fix it, he just needed to know what was wrong. His heart was breaking. Everything had been so perfect, what could have changed so drastically in the last 24 hours?

“You know… I wouldn’t have guessed, ”Dean whispered, “Jesus, I’ve been so fucking blind…” The sound that came from him wasn’t Dean. It was awful, painful, desolate and Cas wanted to fix it, needed to fix it.

Ignoring the screaming in his head he took two steps forwards and Dean looked up. The gun was pointed loosely in his direction and Cas froze to the spot. No, the gun wouldn’t hurt him but once it escalated… he pushed the awful thought away. Tear's stained Deans face but there was no sadness in his eyes at that moment, it was fury. Dean was pissed.

Cas' heart twisted, what had the love of his life so angry?

“Dean… you need to put the gun down…”

The laugh he received in return was dry and hoarse, “Why? Because I don’t need it? ...because you love me? Or because it won't hurt you?”

Staring at Dean was an exercise in self-control, he wanted to move, to take the gun away and he could... but then there would be no going back.

“I don’t understand.”

“Do not lie to me Castiel.” Dean growled, “I know. I don’t know why it took me this long. Actually, I do, because you did something to me. I still haven’t figured that part out yet, some magic that we can’t work out but yeah I know. You’re not human.”

The room narrowed to Cas’ racing heart, swallowing wasn’t helping to move the lump from his throat.

“I don’t understand."

Dean stood slowly and shook himself. Turning, he stepped forwards, the gun was forgotten for a moment as he stopped three feet away. Raising his hand to his lower lip he turned it down and there it was. There was the proof that Gabriel was evil. The three small pale symbols were lasered into the soft wet skin. The first was the chapter house he belonged to, the second a family crest and the third was to keep demons out.

“You’re a hunter,” Cas whispered as his heart cracked.

Dean scoffed, “Don’t pretend you don’t know. I’m Men of letters. A legacy.” Laughing dryly, he sat on the bed. “Some fucking legacy huh? I’ve been screwing a whatever you are for weeks and ignored every single instinct I have. Ignored that things were moving too fast to be normal. I ignored my family… Ash…”

Cas stumbled on the spot and sank to the floor.

“I saw you… you and Balthazar last night at the party. Suddenly it all slammed together.”

“It’s not what you-”

“You know what, you’re good.” Dean cut him off, “You got close to me, to my family and we didn’t suspect a thing.” He paced the length of the room, “You’re immune to holy water and silver, so I ignored the small clues, you know? The way you speak sometimes, it’s old and then there are the random things you’ve done and seen. The general vagueness when you and B talk about your family… The dreams, Jesus… I still don’t understand that. Was that to make me love you? Why would you…? Was fucking me just some sick bonus? Did you and your brother have fun laughing about the stupid hunter who was so in love with you? ”

Dean took a deep breath, his eyes glazed over as if he was going to cry. It took all his effort to breathe past it. Cas could see the agony and he hated himself. Also, he had never hated Gabriel more than at this very moment. Dean saw a monster. That’s it, that was all. An average human, maybe Cas could have salvaged it but a hunter? A man of letters? How was he supposed to convince him? Would he even give him chance to explain? Or would Cas have to… oh god… no, no, he would rather die than fight with Dean. He would rather kneel and let Dean put a thousand bullets in him than hurt that man. The sorrow swimming through him was paralysing, the rage bubbled under his skin. The pain he was going to inflict on Gabriel would be fucking biblical.

“I’ve spent all night and all today discussing this with my family and we’re no wiser.” Dean laughed dryly, “We have century's worth of knowledge at our disposal. The finest minds and still, we have no idea who or what you are.”

Cas grimaced.

Dean continued his agonising monologue as he paced. “I was thinking a witch maybe but no, you don’t have anything here.” He wagged the gun as if forgetting it was loaded, “…but there are no shrines or gross witch-y crap. I literally have no idea what you are; neither do my family but I know you aren’t human. The only reason things like you, come near people like me is to infiltrate the society. So yeah I feel fucking ridiculous right now.” He ran his fingers through his sweat soaked hair.

Cas felt a moment of relief that Dean hadn’t found the blood in the secret compartment at the back of the fridge. Then the agony was back, no moment of relief could stop the pain or the tears from falling, “Dean, it’s not like that.”

Dean turned and looked at him, “I called K.C and he can’t remember a thing from last night. I can’t figure why he’s alive, why banish the Demon? You’re obviously not demons though, your eyes were white.” He rubbed a hand over his face.

“Dean… please.”

Dean ignored him, “I just don’t understand. Why would you do this? I need to get it, I need to understand because I’m going insane. It feels so real. Was anything real? True? Like this bed. Was it your great - great whatever or was it you who carved it? Huh? How old are you Cas? When you licked the blood from my finger? Fuck, how blind was I?”

Cas stayed silent, the rambling was disjointed as if he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight.

“I mean this bed is what, four centuries old? …and what was the end game huh? Kill my family? The whole chapter? Marry me? Were you playing the long game? Damn it Cas… Jesus, was anything you said true?”

The pain in Dean’s eyes almost killed him. The shaking had him holding his knees to his chin like a child. Tears were falling and rolling onto his jeans. It felt like the world was ending like his world was ending.

“Answer me Cas!”

“I love you-”

“Do not!” he yelled, waving the gun he took a deep breath then added,

“Don’t say that Cas because I’m on the fucking edge right now. I need to know what you did so I can go back to my life. I don’t want to feel like this after I put a… once you’re gone. I want to just be free of you and this feeling and the damn dreams.”

“Gone?”

Dean turned and looked him in the eye. The was such rage in those beautiful green eyes that it hurt him in places he didn’t know existed. It was like someone was tearing at his soul.

“Yes, Cas. Gone. Away, from me, forever.”

Cas shuddered, it wasn’t a possibility. If Dean existed, Cas would have to be near him and a lifetime of this? Of watching Dean drown in sorrow because he loved something he’d been taught to hate? This was hell. This was the ultimate punishment from his brother.

“The dreams.” Cas started and Dean glared at him, “You can’t be free of them they’re part of you.” Cas whispered.

Dean frowned, “What?”

“Can you let me explain? I beg you, please just hear me out.” he asked, “Then if you still want to kill me you can.”

As Cas said ‘kill’ Dean flinched, horror swamped his face for a nanosecond and it gave Cas hope. Dean didn’t want to do this. He still felt something through the rage.

“Fine.” He growled, “…but if I feel like you’re lying to me so help me Cas, I swear…”

“Okay Dean, okay.” Cas uncurled himself. Hope was a tiny spark in his chest, taking a steadying breath he sat on the arm of the sofa. Where to start? He decided with the first question, what were they?

“Balthazar and I, we’re Angels.”


	11. It's always darkest before the dawn

“Angels?”

Cas nodded.

“No, they don’t exist.” Dean scowled, “I told you, no more lies!”

“I can assure you, we do. If you let me call B I can prove…”

“No. I...just tell me. I don't want him here.”

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and stared. Angels? Was that even possible? Hope sparked in his chest and he shoved at it. Angels were good, right?

“I’m only part angel, one of my other brothers is a… huge dick and he cursed me. Balthazar got dragged into it because of me, he’s only part angel now too. That’s what you saw. We exercised the demon, took K.C’s memory and healed him so he wouldn’t remember.

Dean couldn’t think straight, he tried to focus, “Why?”

“Because he didn’t deserve to be possessed.”

“No, what was a demon doing in K.C?” Dean clarified, his heart rate was slowly getting back into the normal range. He’d been so angry, so broken all day but answers were here and he was willing to take anything at this point.

Cas frowned, “You.”

Dean baulked, “Me?”

Cas nodded, “You’re part of me, Dean. Part angel, the demons they can see your light and they’re drawn to it. From the day you were conceived you’ve been part of me.”

“I don’t… how can I be part of an angel?”

“Gabriel, that’s my dick brother. Tore part of me away and put it into a human soul. I’m still not sure how but that was over a millennium ago. ”

“A what?”

“A millennium.”

“You’re a thousand years old?” Dean asked, all the emotion was gone from his voice. There was nothing but white noise and curiosity.

Cas smiled, it was tight-lipped and shrugged, “More.”

Dean felt his eyes go wide, “So I’m part angel… but I’m 21… I don’t understand.”

“Reincarnation?” Cas explained, “You come back. You’re special.”

Dean grimaced, “How do I undo it? This soul whatever…”

A tear ran down Cas’ cheek, “You can’t. Our souls are bound. It would tear you apart, you’d go insane.”

Fury flooded over the white noise. He was human damn it! Conflict raged in his chest as a sob clawed up his throat. Looking at Cas was killing him, ‘Fix it’ his inner voice screamed. It had been torturing him all day. 'Just go to him' it taunted, 'it’ll be alright'. 'He’ll explain, he’ll fix it'. When Cas had entered the loft the struggle had been fucking intense. It was like half of him wanted to ignore the other half. It wanted to cross the room and hold Cas in his arms. The same thing was happening now, Dean wanted to move, he really did but how did he live with this? His whole life he’d been trained that anything that was not human was bad. Shit, Cas was telling him that part of him was an angel. How was he supposed to go back to his life?

“I love you, Dean.” Cas whispered, “I always have, every incarnation. I love you for you. You’re everything to me… if you need me to die to move on I will.”

“No!” Dean yelled before he could stop it.

The thought of there being no more Cas was… no, just no. He’d implied it but when Cas said it he couldn’t fathom pulling that trigger. Would the bullets in this gun even kill an angel? The shudder rocked him and he put the gun by his side. Was it worth this? The feeling that he’d been fighting all day was like someone ripping him apart from the inside out. When he’d picked up the phone and told his Mom, he’d felt guilt like nothing he had ever felt in his life. As if by telling his family he was betraying Cas. He knew they would hunt him, he knew and he had still told them. So ingrained was the lesson that monsters are bad. If it’s not human it has to die. The love was still there though and as he stared at Cas, feeling hopeless, the love bubbled up. It reassured him that Cas would help, they could fix this. He couldn’t fight it any more, the exhaustion was complete.

“Please put the gun down and come here?”

Dean felt the tears, the heartache. He wanted to go to him and the rage was gone, “I don’t know how to do this Cas. My family… they’ll never accept this… I-”

Dean’s thoughts were racing. He’d lose them all. His Mom, his Dad, Charlie, his brother… Uncle Bobby. They would hunt him like he hunted monsters. The thought was awful, agonising. Still, nothing compared to the thought of spending even one day without Cas. Today had been the worst of his life and he couldn’t do this again. Not ever.

Cas stood and moved slowly towards the bed, he edged in as if Dean was a frightened dog that was going to bite. Sitting, Cas wrapped Dean in his arms. Dean sagged, the feeling was like nothing he could really describe, he simply felt whole. All the emotions he’d been feeling washed away and he didn’t care about it any more, fighting it was too hard. Cas was here, he was safe.

“Shhhh, it’s okay we can explain it to them. It’ll be okay. We can fix this. You were born this way, for me and they’ll have to understand. It’s not something I did to you, it’s a part of who you are.”

“I don’t believe that.” A hard voice said from behind them both, “We’ll find a way of getting your disgusting angel parts out of my son.”

Dean’s head whipped around to his Mom standing behind them, her gun was pointed straight at Cas. The rage was overwhelming; no-one pointed a gun at Cas, no-one but him. Gone was the indecision and the doubt, Cas was his and he was keeping him. Dean tightened his grip on his own gun, he did not want to shoot his mother. Fuck, is this what it had come too?

“Mom please, no… it’s … it's okay.” He said finding his calm place, “Just put that down.”

Cas stood, “It’s okay Dean it can’t hurt me.”

Dean glanced at his love and then back at his mother, “Mom, seriously, just put the gun down.”

“How can you protect that thing?” she spat as Dean moved in front of Cas who was not happy about it. Dean figured his mom was less likely to shoot him and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to Cas.

“You stole my baby boy from me you evil… thing.” His Mom cursed, “You messed with his soul! That wasn’t yours to touch!”

“He’s still Dean.” Cas tried to reassure her and Dean threw him a warning glance. Winchesters were not known for their patience.

“Mom, I’m still me okay. I haven’t changed.”

She laughed; it was dry and humourless, “Right? Dean, you’re protecting a monster from your own mother.” Her dark pantsuit camouflaged her well in the dim light. No wonder he hadn’t seen her move.

Dean cringed because it was true and then the anger rolled over him, “He’s not a monster. This was done to him. He was an angel, that is the purest thing in the world Mom. He was made by God. Aren’t you always telling me that God guides us? That’s why holy water burns things? Why is Cas different?”

“Because they took something that wasn’t theirs to take, your path. You had no choice in this Dean, don’t you see? I love you and I want you to have an amazing life but already this thing is dividing your loyalties. We are your family. We are hunters. I will not have a monster befouling my son.”

Seeing red, Dean spat, “His name is Castiel. You know that, stop it.”

“Dean, it has brainwashed you, just please come here so we can end this? Please, I don't want you to get hurt. It's not your fault, we can fix it.”

Cas took Dean’s hand in his and squeezed, “Go, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“No, it won’t be they-”

“We figured out what kills.. well, anything.” A male voice appeared from behind them. Dean was not bringing his A-game today. Everything slowed right down. A gun cocked. Dean yelled and pushed Cas. The shot fired, Dean felt the impact as it tore through his shoulder. The pain ignited his body; it felt like flames were scorching his arm. Then time started up and they were back in the room.

“Holy fuck that hurts.” Dean groaned as he rolled off Cas, he was having difficulty moving and catching his breath.

“Dean?” Cas gasped, “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know, yeah I think so. You?”

Cas grunted something inaudible.

“Must I always rescue you?” Balthazar cursed as he strode over.

Dean could still only see the floor and he managed to push himself over onto his back.

“Hey B.” he called as the angel moved. His chest felt heavy.

“Dean. Are you… shit, look at that wound…” The angel seemed pissed as he touched him and then surprised. It was only a flicker then gone.

His Mom and Ash, they’d shot Cas, and him. They were both down.

“You took them out?”

“Still have a little angel juice, they’re only sleeping.” B smiled.

Dean didn’t know whether to be relieved or not which made him nauseous, they were still his family. He didn't want them dead, did he? The scene replayed in his mind and overwhelming rage followed... part of him was quite happy with that, it was terrifying and he swallowed hard. The way he loved Cas was terrifying.

Balthazar rolled Cas over, “No.” He breathed, there was a bullet sized hole in Cas’ chest, the wound was just beneath Dean’s it must have gone straight through.

Cas was still, so still; too still.

Dean moved on his knees to Cas.

“He should be fine, bullets don’t hurt us…” Balthazar whispered as he shook Cas, “Castiel. Don’t you dare die! Get your feathery arse back here!”

Tears started before Dean could stop them, “The Colt… they used The Colt… can it...? It kills everything else... ”

 

Cas gasped for air and his eyes struggled to open, “Hi…” he smiled.

“Cas, can you heal this?” Balthazar asked and Cas’ eyes rolled back in his head.

“B do something!” Dean yelled. "Shit, this is all my fault..."

“Dean? Are you okay?” Cas whispered prying his eyes open. Sitting up looked painful but he tried anyway.

Dean started nod until shooting pains started through his chest, “Actually… no, I don't think I am.” The scream was loud and unrestrained, fuck that hurt. “Something is wrong.” He gasped clutching his chest.

“Did you say they used The Colt?” Balthazar asked.

Dean nodded as he tried to stay conscious.

“Mother fuckers.” Balthazar cursed, “You’re part angel Dean, it will affect you the way it affects us.”

Cas growled, “No! He can’t die, B heal him!”

“I can’t! Don’t you think I tried?”

“No, no, please no…” Cas whined as he forced himself up and over to Dean. As Dean sat limp but conscious against the bed he watched Cas crawl over and wrap his arm around him. It felt so good he almost forgot he was kind of dying.

“You can’t die… not yet, no…” Cas sobbed and dragged Dean closer.

 

“Cas, The bullet is still inside your chest .”

“I know, I can feel it draining me, separating my atoms, it will do the same to Dean. It’s killing the part of him that is me. They are so entwined… I thought his physical body would survive the division but I made a huge error B. It is subatomic, they are one. Once my grace disappears, there won’t be anything to hold Dean’s soul together, it will splinter and then shatter. There will be nothing left of him or the east coast of the U.S”

“Can we stop it?”

“No…” Cas sobbed, “It’s like a chain reaction.”

“Cas, I can’t lose you both… I…” Balthazar growled, he was never good with any lose-lose scenario. Dean felt light, floaty. They were going to die... would Cas go to heaven? Would he? Dean watched them speak but they seemed far away. The pain was excruciating and he winced, exhaustion pulled at him. He was so tired.

“I’m sorry my friend…” Cas said as he leaned into Balthazar.

“Cas?” Dean whispered as he realised this was it, it was all over.

”Kiss me?”

The tears ran freely down the angel's face and their lips met in a hard press. Balthazar growled his curses. Dean felt himself fade away. The pain was replaced with a numbness that seeped into his bones. Finally, as his breath became laboured the endless dark descended.


	12. God is in the details

“Well, that was dramatic.” Came a voice in the darkness. 

“Hello?” Dean called, he felt weird. Weightless, as if in zero gravity. 

An average height man appeared in the shadows of Dean’s mind. The unkempt looking guy sported a goatee and a grey-t-shirt with jeans combo. He was barefoot and padded around Dean’s brain like it was a museum. As the man picked up things and examined them Dean realised they were in his bedroom at the shared house. Wait… hadn’t he been at Cas’ loft? Hadn’t he been-

“Dying?” The man offered as he looked at one of Dean’s football trophies. “Ready to explode and take a sizable chunk of the continent with you?”

The room was fuzzy and Dean tried to clear his head, “Who?”

“Ah, that is a question.” The man frowned at a copy of space weekly.

Dean scowled and tried to focus. There was writing on the guys' shirt, it said ‘What if God was one of us? 

“You’re getting there Dean, give it a second.” 

“Who are you?” he finally got the words out. The air cleared and he was sitting on his bed while the man lounged casually on his navy blue chaise. 

“You know that.” The man said, “Think.”

“God?” Dean whispered as the answer appeared in his mind, his eyes went wide.

“Call me Chuck.” 

“Chuck?”

“I prefer it. God is more of a title.” The man rolled his hands as if he was uncomfortable.

Dean laughed in disbelief, “If I’m dead then this is a sucky heaven, just FYI.”

“Ah, maybe we should change it up a little?” 

The room rolled. Dean thought being in a washing machine would feel something like this. Everything swished and churned. Then as if his mind was a movie they zoomed out. Out of the house, out over the state and the country, back and back until they were looking at earth from the depths of space. Dean was in awe.

“Better?” Chuck asked as he floated on his back like a swimmer in a lake.

Dean spun in a circle trying to look at everything at once, “Holy shit. This is amazing. Are we, am I in space? Like actual space? This isn’t in my head?”

Laughing, the deity pushed Dean’s shoulder and they floated further away from earth towards Mars.

“Dude… that’s…”

“You call it Mars…”

“We're in space,” Dean whispered.

“Yes.”

“Is this heaven?”

“No, well it might be for you… or the closest you’ll ever get.”

Dean frowned. “What does-”

“All in good time.”

Sufficiently chastised Dean went back to staring at the red planet.

“He wasn’t pleased about that by the way.”

Dean was confused, “Who?”

“Ares.”

Dean stared as he floated around the red planet, “The god?”

Chuck nodded.

“But you’re god…”

“Ares is more of a demi-god.” Chuck span head over heals slowly. “He is still annoyed that it's not called Ares and even more annoyed that Jupiter got the bigger planet. The gas giant jokes became boring after the first few hundred years. I had to put them in a time out.”

Dean laughed, “Mars is a better colour than Jupiter though.”

Chuck pushed him again and in second they were circling the gas giant, “You think so?” 

Dean stared at the swirling coloured gas, “hmmm, It’s subtle.”

“Ares is not subtle. I think the red plant suits him.” Chuck said as he ran his hand through the wisps covering the atmosphere.

“Can I?” Dean asked having completely forgotten about everything else. He was simply here, in space, at this moment. 

Chuck shrugged, “Sure.”

“Dude… this is so cool.” He laughed as the atmosphere of the planet Jupiter sent tingles over his skin.

“This is where you belong Dean.”

Dean smiled at him, “What do you mean?”

“When I made you…” Chuck ran his hand through the black space and showed Dean his hand. Glitter. “…I made you from the stars. So you crave to be amongst them. Tell me, how do you feel out here?”

Dean twirled in the darkness like a dancer and thought about it, “Peaceful.”

Chuck grinned, “Like coming home?”

He nodded and thought about seeing Pluto. As soon as the thought entered his mind he was there.

“You didn’t do that?”

“No Dean, you did.” 

“How?”

“You are part of this… more than most of my other creations.Definitely more than any other human.” Chuck moved over to Pluto and examined it, “You are special.”

Dean frowned.

Chuck floated over and touched his shoulder, “Pluto was very happy with his planet. It’s cold and desolate, which ironically he isn’t.”

Dean smiled, “Really?”

“Pluto is a gentle god, he loves his garden. The underworld of the Greek pantheon is similar to Eden. You definitely don’t want to walk on the grass though, he gets… annoyed. Castiel and he get on well, they both love gardening.” 

Laughing Dean span and then a twinge touched his heart, “What was that?” he asked rubbing his chest. 

“Ah, that would be… a snag as you call it.” Chuck grinned. 

“It felt… not painful… like something is missing…”

“That’s because something is missing.”

“Cas?” Dean whispered, he could feel that he missed Cas, wanted him there but it was distant. Like the memory of a memory. 

“Yes. He is as much a part of you as this is.” He waved his hand through the stars. “I’ve muted everything so that you can enjoy this without the sorrow and the heartache. I do love the human condition but it can make conversation longer than it needs to be and more complicated. I wanted to show you one of the things you love most without the taint of the past few days.”

“Thank you,” Dean replied. The following emotion was peaceful, nothing but peaceful calm. 

“I like you, Dean. I liked you when you were Shel and I like you now. The others were… not the same but you and Shel, some of my best work.”

“Gabriel… he did this not you, that's what Cas said...” Dean replied and it was simply a fact with no emotion. He felt calmer than he had in days which was insane because he was dead and Cas was dying and this was freaking God.

“Chuck.” Chuck reiterated, “I am inside your head Dean so anything you think, I hear.” 

“Sorry?” Dean said sheepishly.

Chuck shrugged and pressed his lips together as if apologetic for the intrusion. God was sorry that he was listening to Dean’s thoughts… that was hilarious. Laughing to himself Dean decided he was insane. 

“Dean.” Chuck started as he pressed his hands together, “I owe you an apology.”

“You’re god… I don’t… why?”

“This mess is my fault. I left Micheal in charge. He's a little… overzealous, shall we say, with rule enforcement and Gabe has authority issues. The two are not a good mix and well, they got away from me while I was… on sabbatical.”

“Sabbatical?” 

“Yes.”

“Right.” Dean had no idea what he was talking about. 

“So… I’m sorry for, well your life so far,” Chuck said examining his nail beds with an intense appreciation. 

Dean had an inkling that God, Chuck didn’t apologise often.

“You feel guilty… the star walk?”

“Apparently, I am also transparent.”

Dean laughed.

“I don’t apologise. I think this is the first time… well since Sodom and Gomorrah definitely. I was a tad wrathy.” 

Dean grinned, “Just a little.”

“So I am, sorry that is.”

“Don’t be.” Dean replied and Chuck looked startled, “Up until a few days ago I was happy.”

“You mean with life as a whole or Castiel?” Chuck grinned. 

“Both. I like… liked my life.” 

Chuck considered it, “If you could make any changes?”

Thinking over the last few days, there was only one thing he really wanted, “Cas, alive… with his angelness back. He really missed it… B too, if that was on the table” 

“Even if you could never see him again?” Chuck asked as he frowned.

Dean’s heart wrenched but he nodded. Cas being alive and without him was better than dead Cas. The thought of Cas dead was like eating razor blades. 

“Done.”

Dean stared at him, “What?”

Chuck laughed, “Done. His wings have been reinstated and so have B’s. Balthazar, though I think I may have to call him B from now on, it’s fun. He another of my favourites. So sarcastic.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Dean grunted. 

“Oh yes, I do like you Dean.” Chuck said as he stood, “So, are you ready?”

“To be dead? Not really.”

“No, to go back. You’re not done yet. You have things to do, you’re part angel you know.”

“I know. When Gabriel put Cas in me-”

“I’m really going to have a stern word with that son of mine.” Chuck interrupted him with a scolding tone, he shouldn’t take credit for my work.

Dean’s eyes went wide, “Your work?”

Chuck smiled, “ I made you. When I was making souls, I had a few, prototypes shall we say. Imagine a soul as a pie.”

Dean grinned, “Done.”

“So usually a person has a pie, a whole pie all to themselves. Angels are, let us say, cake. Similar but different. I made Castiel after I made the Archangels, after Adam and Eve. I was wondering what would happen if I mixed it up a little. Turns out you end up with a paradox.”

“I’m a paradox?”

“You’re smart so I’ll explain. Usually, I make a soul. The soul goes to earth. It lives, it dies, it goes to heaven, or hell and then a new soul is created. Occasionally I reuse them, no-one likes waste, but mostly a soul is simply replaced. Think of it like a production line. I don’t make them by hand any more, they are on-”

“Automatic?” Dean interjected as his mind absorbed this information. He was talking to god, the actual god about how he made him. Surreal.

“Exactly, so I don’t need to be involved unless I choose it.” 

“You, however. Your soul leaves you and goes back into the machine, like recycling. You’re tethered to Cas and it’s like a leash on your soul. It pulls you back to him. So you never go to heaven or hell.” 

“No matter what?” Dean asked.

Chuck laughed at Dean’s innocent question. “You’re connected to Cas who is pure light, pure good intention and that negates some of the baser human urges. That’s why I only did it one. It takes a little of your free will.”

“You’re saying I can never be truly bad aren’t you? Like evil?”

Nodding, Chuck added, “You can kill monsters because of the intention. is still pure but no, you can’t ever be truly evil.”

Dean was unsure what to do with that so he kept listening.

“As I was saying, when I created Castiel, I cut his essence in two. Then I cut a soul in half and I smushed them together.” Chuck mashed his hands together like a child with play-dough.

“Smushed?”

“Basically. There was a bit of an imbalance. One became human, the other an angel.”

“Wait.” Dean frowned, “So, Cas is part me like I’m part him?”

“See Dean, you are smart.” Chuck said, “Cas is three parts angel, one part human. You are part human and part angel with a smidge of stardust. You were made that way aeons ago and you come back, over and over because Cas can’t really die, neither can you. Your soul never moves to heaven, it returns. You are half and half of each other. He anchors you here and you anchor him to emotions he wouldn’t otherwise have.”

Dean’s brain was spinning, “So we’re half each others soul but only bits of human or angel. Like, the soul is our filling but we’re cake and pie on the outside?”

“Exactly.” He said as he squeezed Dean’s shoulder, “Cas didn’t know. I never thought to explain because I never thought anyone would take issue with him. He was happy with his human, I was happy to let him spend most of his time on Earth. I should have known Gabriel would… never mind.” 

“You like Cas huh?”

Chuck grinned, ”I love all my children equally. Some are simply more likeable than others. Cas has human emotions…”

The deity seemed bothered and Dean pried, “Chuck?”

“I’ll tell you something I’ve never told anyone. I will explain because and only because you are part of Castiel. I don’t pay much attention to the inner workings of my creations, I let them live, free will and all that. Castiel had emotions, he was always a great soldier, did anything I asked of him. Anything his brothers asked of him and it took me a long time to realise that it was human love that made him that way. Cas would go to earth and come home, better. I always loved that, that they made each other better. That you made him better.”

“He makes me better too.” Dean smiled.

Chuck nodded, “He gives you something no other human has on earth.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, “A literal other half. Your allegiance will always be to each other above anyone else, you will always have someone who loves you. That’s why I am furious at Gabriel, he took something pure and soiled it. Cas was never supposed to be subjected to the ludicrous incarnations between Shel and you. Again… I am sorry.” 

“But it’s okay and he’s okay now?” Dean asked as he tried to process all the information.

“Yes, Dean. Cas is back at home.”

“Chuck?” 

“Yes, Dean.”

“Will I see him again?”

“Oh Dean, you are adorable,” Chuck said as he winked and everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do this on my phone so please forgive the errors I will do a check when i have my laptop back.


	13. If we could do it all again...

“Cas.” Balthazar cursed, “Stop pacing. You’re going to wear a hole in the… what is this even made of anyway?”

Cas spun on the spot. His black sweats clean rather than the bloody jeans/T-shirt combo he had been wearing. “Light, B. It's made of light. How long have you been an Angel? Seriously.”

“You are so grouchy.”

“Hmmm, I wonder why?”

“We're in heaven Cas and I have my grace, all of it, and you have yours. Apart from the crime of putting me in sweats, I'm not hating this.” 

“And why is that? What is Gabriel up to now?” Cas growled, “I need to know Dean is okay B.”

“I know but there is no way out of here, we’ve tried.”

“That would be my fault.” The voice came from Cas’ left. In what was now a corner with a chair in it. It hadn't been there before. The room was white light, nothing but white, endless light in every direction. This was heaven's waiting room. 

“…Gabriel.” Cas growled, “Drop the mask and let me see Dean.”

The man stood, his bare feet causing B to raise his eyebrow. Cas watched him as he moved closer and then stopped in front of them. The average looking man paused and smiled. It hit Cas like a ton of bricks.

“Father.” He whispered. 

“Hello, Castiel.”

“How… Why?” said Balthazar.

“Hi, B.” God said. 

“Chuck, Castiel. You know better.”

With wide eyes, Cas added, “Sorry…”

“Sit with me?” Chuck asked gently as he snapped his fingers. 

Large chairs appeared perched on a cliff face as the Ocean rolled up onto the beach below. Magenta and tangerine whisps lit the sky in an eternal sunset. Cas couldn't help but stand in awe for a moment, it was beautiful.

The Angels sat as Chuck lowered himself into his chair.

“What is… what’s happening?” Cas asked. 

Balthazar was still staring at their father as if he was going to change into Gabriel any second. Cas could see the differences though. Now he could see him Cas couldn't unsee him. 

“I thought I should fix what your brother broke and clarify a few things.”

Cas and B simply blinked.

“First of all, Dean is fine.”

“Thank you,” Cas whispered, relieved as a cool breeze caressed his skin.

“Also, Gabriel did not make you part of Dean Castiel.” Chuck lent forwards, his eyes kind. “You have always been connected, I thought you knew That? You loved the human before Gabriel well Gabriel-ed it”

Cas was startled and shook his head. 

“You are part of each other. Gabriel used the truth against you. Dean is Shel’s reincarnation but it was always going to be that way. Also, Shel’s death was premature by well, a while. It seems to be the day for this so I will add another. I am sorry.”

“Shel was human, seventy was a good age for the time…”

Chuck sighed, “Ah well. Gabriel… It should have been longer but I'll explain.”

Rage filled Cas and he ground his teeth together, “Right… I’m going to-”

“I have already dealt with him.” Chuck interrupted, “I found somewhere that will teach him a valuable lesson. One about how powerful human love is. ” 

Good, Cas thought as he looked at Balthazar and his brother nodded his approval. 

“You are part of Dean and he of you. That will be now and forever, he will always be by your side and he will always remember his past lives as dreams. That was how it was supposed to be and I am sorry that you had to suffer.”

Cas stared, unsure of what to say. 

“Balthazar, you have your grace but if you wish, you may stay with Castiel on earth. There will be no exile from Heaven, you may return as and when you wish.”

B seemed to relax a little at that.

“Cas too?” he asked.

Chuck nodded, “Yes.”

“To clarify. Dean and I were supposed to be together?”

“Yes. I made you that way. Your brother created the incarnations between Shel and Dean. They were, to use the human term ‘cheap imitations’. Gabriel, as talented as he is, can't create a soul. He also can't pull a soul back to earth once it is back in the machine. Dean wasn't in heaven, so the versions of him you've been exposed to weren't actually him.”

Cas tried to process.

“So Shel and Dean were the only real versions of him?

“Exactly.”

“They seemed real when he was devastated.” B snapped.

“B it's okay-” 

“No Cas, it's not.”

Chuck sighed, “The imitations were very well done but there are somethings Gabe just isn't capable of. He had reached his limitations. It was your ignorance of the facts that allowed him to play his games and that's on me Cas. I should have explained how special you are, how special Dean is. I explained some of it to him but there are some things I think are best coming from you.”

Cas smiled, “So, I am different? To the others?” 

“Yes,” Chuck replied returning the smile. “You hold part of Dean’s soul. You are unique.” 

“Thank you for explaining. I'm glad to have my wings back.” Cas replied. 

“Thank Dean for your wings, it was his only wish to see you both restored. Also, you might wanna let him know that he's a demigod.” Chuck finished quickly, tacking it onto the end as if unimportant.

Cas and Balthazar both yelled together, “What?!”

“What do you get when you add stardust to a human soul?”

They didn’t answer.

Chuck continued, “A star child. A demigod. Then I added a sprinkle of you and well, let just say there was supposed to be another planet in this solar system. Which is why I only did it the once. Essentially, Dean has all the best bits of a minor god, the humans, and you Castiel. I thought that maybe he'd take the revelation better from you? Can you try and explain this next part as Well? Maybe add it in with the demigod thing? If he wants to he can stop ageing.” 

“What do you mean?” B asked.

“He can choose to live, well forever. Shel would have figured it out eventually but Gabriel… well, yeah. Just keep that damn colt away from him. I do not want to have to teach him how to rebuild himself. I was enjoying Hawaii. I’d rather not spend a hundred years playing teacher.”

Cas and B exchanged a look which was utter confusion. 

“If he dies he will be reincarnated. Yes?” Chuck stared at them like he was willing them to understand his words.

They nodded.

“If he chooses to live he will. Unless something interferes. I.e: magical gun, a bullet between the eyes, anything where he loses his head basically. Then he goes back to be reincarnated, which means waiting for his soul to appear and then finding him.”

“Right…” Cas whispered still trying to wrap his brain around all of that. 

“Good?” Chuck asked. It was rhetorical. “Okay. I’m going back to the beach. I need a mojito.”

“Wait.” Cas started and Chuck winked then snapped his fingers. 

Cas wobbled as he landed outside Dean's house. Finding his balance he quickly orientated and knocked on the dark wood. 

Charlie opened the door and frowned, "Cas what are you-”

“Where is Dean, Charlie? “

“In bed. Why are-”

Cas ran into the house and up the stairs. Halting before Dean's bedroom door, he took a breath and pushed it.

His love was sleeping, he seemed peaceful, alive, whole. Did he wake him? Cas was agonized by the decision but then decided against it and endured the torture. He sat on the chaise, he paced and then he sat. Then just for a change, he paced.

For an hour he watched Dean and went over and over the information that Chuck had imparted. Dean was a demigod, it was insane. Cas pulled everything he knew from his memory. Pluto who preferred the name Hades, was whom Cas had the most experience. He’d spent a lot of time helping him with his garden. They could die but never permanently. They were strong, willful, stubborn and had a very firm sense of what evil was. Yeah, that sounded like Shel, like Dean. What had Chuck said? He was part human and part angel as well? So human emotions… kindness, love, protective… he could definitely see all of those qualities. Dean would want to learn how to rebuild himself one day, he loved knowledge. Maybe Chuck would take the time to teach him? Cas got a warm feeling in his chest and took that as a yes. He laughed to himself, Chuck really did like Dean. 

“You pace so loudly I could hear you on Saturn.” Dean groaned as he rolled over to face Cas. 

“Dean!” he grinned but it turned to apprehension, “Do you remember? Can I…”

“Come here Cas, I remember.” 

“Are you sure? You were really angry Dean”

“I'm feeling better. Almost like it never happened.” 

Cas threw himself into the bed and kissed the love of his life. 

“What do you remember?” Cas asked.

Dean explained his experience with Chuck and then Cas broke the news about his status. 

“A demigod?!” Dean laughed, “That makes sense”

Cas frowned, “Explain?”

“The tour? The stars? He was preparing me.”

“He is so convoluted sometimes…”

Dean grinned, “He's God, Cas, he's everywhere at once that's gotta be interesting. Must be hard thinking in a straight line.” 

Cas laughed “ Yeah. I guess.” 

“I'm starved. We can talk about my awesome God powers later, right now I need pancakes.” 

“Still Dean.” 

“Hey, what's this?” Dean asked as he picked up the note from his sweats. It read: ‘Made a few changes, go with it, don't scratch too hard too fast it'll hurt- Chuck.’

Cas was confused, “No idea…”

The kitchen was empty as Dean mixed some batter and warmed the hotplate. The first pancake browned and Charlie walked in wearing a long Harry Potter t-shirt. It read: ‘My Patronus is coffee’ That, along with baggy red sweatpants completed her chilled 'I'm staying in all day' look.

“Hey.”

“Hey” Dean replied, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“Charlie.”

“Cas are you okay now?”

Cas nodded, “Yes I’m -” He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I'll get it” She sighed.

Two seconds later Balthazar was barreling through the door. He paused but then and wrapping himself around Cas. 

The hug was hard and Cas grinned, glad to see his brother. 

“You're good?” B asked.

Cas nodded, “Yes B. I'm good.I

His next move was to turn to Dean and crush him to his chest. 

“I'll get the wrong idea B” Dean laughed but then added, “I missed you too.” 

“I didn't say that… I just… really would like pancakes.”

They laughed and Charlie stood watching them from the door.

“What is wrong with you guys today? I know the Gala is tonight but parties don't usually make you all this weird.”

“Sorry Sis, it just feels like a really long time since we've seen each other.” 

Cas and B nodded. 

“I'm not talking about the random hugging, you're always doing that. I'm talking about these two weirdos using the front door. I know I've been hitting the chocolate a little hard recently. Is this your way of telling me I need to lose a few pounds by making me run for the door?”

They all stared at her in confusion.

“What do you mean Charles? Cas is always here.”

She frowned, “No, I'm not- did you hit your head? I'm talking about him popping in and out. Did something happen with your wings?”

Dean froze, “Wings?”

Charlie looked at them hard, “This isn't funny but fine I'll play. They don't use doors, they just teleport in and out. I don't think I've ever seen B use a door my whole life. Wait, no, when he goes shopping, that's it. By the way, as my guardian angel shouldn't you be hugging me first?” Her eyebrow was raised into her hairline as she stared at B. 

“Your what now?” Balthazar asked incredulously.

Cas felt an itch in his mind, instinctively he scratched it. The feeling was akin to pulling off a scab. Dean and B both shuddered, then groaned and clutched their heads.

Memories flooded Cas’ mind. The first was Dean as a child, five, he was five. Playing cowboys in his parent's yard. It was summer and the wind ruffled his hair. B was to his right, watching Charlie as she played with him. The expression on B's face was pure love, adoration.   
The memory faded and it became dark, a storm raged outside. Cas stood in Charlie's room with tears rolling down his cheeks as he broke the news. Charlie's parent's, the news of their death to her and Balthazar. His brother held the little girl until he couldn't take it any longer and made her sleep. He then blinked out, Cas followed him. They were in Dean's room. B lay Charlie down in the second bed and they blinked down to the lounge. Mary and John Winchester hugged them both as they held back tears. They had been crying for the last hour, Cas knew because he had to break the news. Their friends, one was dead, the other in a coma so deep her soul had moved on.  
Mary explained that Charlie would live with them now. The scene changed again. Castiel watched Dean in middle school, consoling Charlie when a child was mean to her and watched with pride as Dean kicked the kid in the knee.   
Another memory flashed and Dean was in high school, 16 and playing lacrosse. Cas has the first stirrings of lust as he watched his strong young body fly across the field. Then it changed and he was in the memory of their first fight, his heart broke but he stood firm. Dean wanted more, Cas thought he was too young but then they kissed. It was all Cas allowed, shutting it down until Dean's 18th birthday. A flash of skin and then that too was gone. Charlie’s first girlfriend, first heartbreak. B holding her as she swore murder on the cheating girl. Dean visiting her parents grave with her as the angels looked on. The two starting college together. Cas and B starting at Harvard. They all move into the house together and then they're here.

The pain in his head ebbed and he groaned. Memories flashed like a strobe in his mind bringing Cas as close to a migraine as a celestial being could get. 

“What the hell was That?” B hissed.

“I feel like my life flashed before my eyes but it wasn't my life? But it was...?” Dean said as he massaged his temples, a grimace playing on his features.

Charlie was by Balthazar side, her hand on his cheek. The expression on her face... he'd never seen it before. Fear, concern and love all fought for space in her eyes and across her brow. Cas cringed, B didn't do well with expressions of concern... or any expression of anything really.

“B? Are you Okay?” Charlie asked as she cupped his face 

“Charlie?” B asked and Cas’ watched with his jaw on the floor as the Angel smiled. It was a soft lift of his mouth which suddenly Cas remembered in the new memories. B wrapped his arms around the slight human and sighed.

Cas had another memory push forwards. B loved Charlie like a daughter. He doted on her. Tears pushed at Cas' eyes... Oh, Chuck. That warm feeling flowed through him.

Dean was grinning. 

Cas stared. 

“I'm alright Fire-Bean” B reassured her, “You don't have to worry about us. We've just had a weird day”

Cas could feel the new memories settling in and pushing to the front of his mind. It was as if his life was being rewritten. That warm feeling flooded his chest again and he knew Chuck had made everything as it should have been. 

Charlie pulled back, confused but reassured by Balthazar's kind words. Cas smiled to himself. If that wasn't the weirdest sentence of the day he didn't know what was.

Dean moved over to him taking his lips in a smouldering kiss. 

“This is interesting.” whispered Cas as Dean pulled away.

“Yeah. Mom and Dad know about you and B. I feel so happy and have all of these amazing memories with you in them, it's fucking nuts.”

Cas smiled, “Me too. Do you feel like they're taking over?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, like soon... I think the rest will seem like a bad dream?”

“I wonder what other surprises Chuck has in store?” Cas asked as he watched B discuss the best pancake toppings with Charlie. It was like they were family. Maybe that was it exactly.

What surprises indeed.


	14. We're not in Kansas anymore Toto.

Dean was happy to be home; Kansas was beautiful in spring.

Every year they spent as much of it outside as possible. They swam in the indoor pool, took the roof off when it became warmer, basked in the sunroom when it wasn't and drank beer. This year was different, kind of. He was going home with two sets of memories.

“It feels weird,” Dean said as they grabbed their luggage from the carousel.

“What does?” asked Cas.

Dean frowned at him, “ You know, The Thing.”

“Ah, the thing.”

“It barely seems real anymore. Sometimes I wonder if it actually happened. Then I'll get a memory wave and it's like ‘wow, yeah that was a thing that happened.’ It's just...weird.”

Their private car was under a metal arch type cover. Dean was relieved because the weather was torrential. They had been delayed flying out due to thunderstorms which had so not helped his anxiety. He seriously hated flying.

Cas considered it, “There shouldn't be too many surprises left.”

“Yeah maybe. What freaks me out is not having many flashes about Sammy. It's making me nervous Cas. I know it's only been two weeks and he's been off at college but I've been scared to pick up the phone or anything. I've stayed offline... maybe I'm worrying about nothing?”

Cas smiled, “You'll see him soon. Your Mom has said he's fine.”

“I asked about Jessica when I spoke to her and Mom asked me who I was talking about. Then laughed because she thought I was joking. I was so confused that I just let her hang up...”

“You said that before. Maybe Chuck has other plans for Sam, something that's was messed up before that he corrected?” Cas offered.

Dean knew he had been a pain in Cas’ ass with this but he was terrified. Scared that his happy ending had come at the expense of his brothers. It was something that played on his mind, he had been avoiding, he didn't want his happy ending tainted.

“Stop it.” Cas chastised him as they snuggled in the back of the car.

“I just-”

“You don't think you deserve to be happy and you do. So stop.”

Cas words sent warm fuzzies through his chest. His head nuzzled into his Angels neck and the anxiety ebbed away an ounce at a time. Yeah, everything would be fine. Chuck had made everything how it should have been.  
Though, he still had this nagging feeling they were forgetting something. It was both ironic and hilarious and had been bothering him since the shit had hit the fan. Since he'd been raised from the dead. Nothing he did would settle the nagging that they had forgotten something important. Cas hadn't been able to shed any light on it either.

Letting the thought pass, he smiled. Hanging out with his family was going to going to be a nice break from the chaos of the last month. Charlie and Meg had taken an earlier flight, this was the first time Meg was home as Charlie's girlfriend. Dean was excited for her but… Mom was really protective and he could feel some awkward moments coming in Charles’ future.

The rain hammered against the limo windows. Crowley, their British driver, made small talk as they passed the endless fields. He updated them on all the comings and going within the local town. It was small, a few stores and a bar, the kind of town where everyone knew everyone else. There was a sum total of 300 residents who were all ‘Men of Letters’ and they always knew each other's business.

His parents home was in a very nice part of Kansas and the estates grew in size as they travelled closer. It was a new tradition that they came home for spring break, something they'd also done in the other timeline. Most things hadn't changed, like Dean's Dad was still the head of the American chapter of The Men of Letters. He was also a lawyer. His mom was an independent curator for historical artefacts and second in command. Sammy was at art school in New York, that much he had confirmed with his Mom.

He watched the trails of water slide down the glass and wondered how long he would feel like this life was a dream? How long would he feel like he was going to wake in that nightmare of his previous life? The shudder had Cas pulling him close.

His parents home was enormous, twelve thousand square feet on a six-acre estate. The drive was a mile long and his anxiety spiked as they got closer. Please let everything be okay he prayed. Cas squeezed his hand and smiled reassuringly. Sometimes he forgot that Cas could hear his prayers. Dean returned the smile and kissed his boyfriend's gorgeous lips.

The house was as he remembered. A 300-year-old Greek revival mansion stood proudly and commanding as they arrived. Dean and Cas had memories of long days curled up under the oak trees. Memories of time spent watching movies in Dean's huge bed, Cas’ bed from the loft, in his vast room. Thoughts like that had Dean questioning his sanity for a moment... because, of course, Cas had never owned a loft. The sun was obscured by dark clouds as the car rolled down the driveway. It gave the pure white of the historical building a cold feel.

Dean loved this place though, there were so many trees and as a child, he had climbed each one. Cas had scolded him more than once about falling. One of his favourite new memories was Cas becoming annoyed as he fell from an old oak. Dean had landed in Cas arms, he'd been seven, laughing that he did it because he knew Cas would always catch him. The Angel had scolded him and pouted for an hour. Still, every time Dean fell, Cas caught him.

Some of the memories astounded him. One Cas had told him about still made him smile. The Angel had been with Dean since he was convicted. It had been necessary to speak to his Mom and Dad about what it all meant. He still laughed at the idea of their faces when Cas had explained the whole soulmate thing.

Charlie's parents had a similar experience, B had been with her forever. That's how their parents had bonded as friends in this version of reality. Two gifted children with guardian angels, what an amazing thing. Though Cas had to explain that one day Dean would be with Cas in a relationship. The Angel made it very clear that nothing would happen, in that way, until he was eighteen. Which, thankfully, had reassured them. Cas, with a confused expression, had explained they'd been delighted. God himself had blessed Dean. It directly conflicted with how Dean's Mom had been in the other reality. Maybe it had been the shock of it all? Who knew?

Charlie's parents home was a mile north from theirs as the crow flies. They used to joke about it being across the street but in this case, it was true. The Winchesters had no other neighbours for miles and the Bradbury's had been their tech duo for the MOL. So, naturally, they became the best of friends.

As they pulled up to the door his sister was waiting with her girl. Cas must have text her to let them know they were coming. Meg grinned and waved, her now purple hair ruffled as the wind blew. They were hugging under the cover of the carport. Surprisingly, Balthazar was nowhere to be seen. Since his new found memories had appeared he had wanted to go over them with her, reminisce. He had annoyed Charlie to the point where she’d threatened to draw an Angel banishing sigil on her door. That argument had been one of Dean’s favourites so far.

“Hey.” Charlie called as they walked up, “ You okay?”

Dean nodded, he did not like flying and the private jet had been in use so they'd had to fly commercial. It was even more embarrassing to freak out in front of other people. Cas had wanted to teleport him but the only thing Dean hated more than flying was being a coward. To combat it at least twice a year he flew home and sadly spring break was one of those times.

“Who's home?” Cas asked and Dean smiled.

This truly was his home. He had always lived here as far as they remembered and Dean clutched those memories tight. He loved them. They stepped into the hall and he was confronted with his own face. Thankfully, not fifteen feet high as in the previous timeline. It was a modest three feet by three feet portrait alongside one of Sammy and the third one was of Charlie. To his left was the family portrait, they had all been painted by Cas. Most of the pictures that littered the walls were Cas’. It made Dean smile and he examined his face for a second. Yes, it was exactly the same as the other only smaller. According to his memory, these had been painted last summer and had replaced the one of him at sixteen. The same was true of Charlie's and Sammy's, all of which had been moved to the study.

Nothing else seemed different. The furniture was the same, what he could see from here and it felt the same. Maybe Cas was right and he was still a little shaken by everything? It was understandable, right?

“Sammy’s home and he brought the menace with him, obviously.” she laughed to which both Dean and Cas frowned. “Mom and Dad are at the bunker and will be back later.”

“Menace?” Dean asked but was interrupted.

“Dean!” Sam called as he wrapped his brother in his long arms.

“Sammy.” Dean grinned, “I missed you, dude. Everything Okay?”

“Yeah, I should be asking you that. You've been seriously MIA online, Mom said you were taking some downtime from it or something?”

Dean almost blushed with the embarrassment of avoiding his little brother. It seemed so stupid now that he was standing right there.

“Yeah, there was this thing with this guy-”

“Ah, Cas went all rampagey again huh? I get it, I'm the same. No-one hits on my man.” Sam grinned.

Dean froze, “Man?”

Sam frowned, “Yeah dude. Seriously...are you okay?”

Shaking himself Dean smiled, “Yeah just had a weird couple of weeks, ignore me yeah?”

Laughing Sammy wrapped his arm casually around Dean's neck, “Sure, he's waiting in the games room for you. You should have let him win dude you know how competitive he gets. He does not like to lose, ever.”

Dean smiled and waited for the inevitable itch that signalled a memory wave but nothing came.

“Right, sure. consider it taken under advisement.”

Sam chuckled, “Dude, there is no way you're letting him win. You're both as bad as one another. Also, you have to stop flirting, you know he has a crush on you.”

“What?” Dean frowned, “Who?”

Sam raised his eyebrow and grinned, “I think MIT has fried your brain but I mean it. You only get away with it because you're my brother otherwise I'd kick your ass.”

Dean smiled and shrugged because he couldn't think of anything to say. Well, nothing that wouldn't make him seem less crazy rather than more. Where were the damn memories?

Cas had wandered off to talk to Charlie and had missed the whole thing.

“Babe?” Dean threw Cas’ way.

Cas nodded to indicate he was listening.

“I think we should go to the games room.”

Dean had a feeling, an inch but not like a memory wave. More as if the lack of memories was a clue.

“Sure, Dean,” Cas replied and excused himself.

The games room was next to the garage on the ground floor and they walked to it slowly. Once out of earshot Dean recounted his conversation with Sam.

“Weird.” Cas frowned, “I thought Sam was straight?”

Dean glanced at him, “Apparently not in this version of reality.”

“Balthazar got called to a lecture yesterday before Sam arrived; he's in England. Charlie said he would be back tomorrow.”

“That's why we weren't given a heads up about it then?”

Cas nodded.

The door to the games room was ajar and Dean walked in first. There was a short man with brown hair playing pool, alone. Dean didn't recognise him and frowned. Come on memories, this was ridiculous. Though… there was something familiar almost? Like he'd seen him somewhere before. The memory was slippery and he just couldn't get a hold of it.

Cas growled as he lunged and suddenly the man was flying across the room and into a solid brick wall. Dust puffed as the bricks crumbled from the force.

Dean yelled and ran towards his boyfriend who closed the gap between himself and the other man, “Cas! Cas stop!”

The Angel growled again, a deep and frightening sound that meant he was close to losing control.

“Cas… please.”

He flinched at Dean’s voice but moved faster and pinned the fallen guy against the wall by his neck.

Cas was seething and as Dean moved closer he realized that something was off ...something...but fear rose and it was gone. All his focus was on his soul mate.

“Cas, what is happening? You're scaring me.”

The love of his life's face was twisted into a mask of rage as his hands mauled the guys' t-shirt.

Dean felt again like he was missing something obvious but nope, nothing was forthcoming.

The guy grinned at Dean which made Cas angrier.

“Don't even look at him!” Cas spat.

“I understand your anger, Okay, can we just talk about this?”

Cas grinned and it was not a happy thing.

“Yes, once I have my vengeance. We can talk.”

“Castiel!” Dean yelled.

Cas finally looked at him and lost a little of the anger.

“Dean, this is my brother. You remember Gabriel?”

It clicked, the guy had hit that wall at a speed that would kill a human, yet the only thing broken was the wall.

The scratching started in Dean's mind and he was grateful. He needed to know what the Hell was happening. Cas cringed along with him and released Gabriel as the memories hit like a train.


	15. Dig two graves

Cas was fucking livid. If he had still been a vampire then Gabriel would be missing his windpipe by now. What the hell was Chuck doing?

“What the fuck Cas?” Sam's voice rang out from behind Dean. 

Cas flicked his eyes over at the tall young man. Dean stopped him as he got closer with a strong hand on his chest.

“Dean, I swear if you don't let me go, Gabe won't be the only one making dents in the wall.”

“Chill out Sammy.” Dean replied, “Cas is chill. Aren't you Cas?”

The memories had hit and hit hard. 

Cas knew that Gabriel was Sam's Angel, his guardian. In this timeline, it had always been that way. Gabriel had been with them as soon as Sam had been conceived and that's the way it should have happened. That was before the idiot messed with everything. He could remember Gabriel easing Sam's pain, wrapping him in his arms and loving him. Yet, he couldn't forget his other memories, the pain that had been caused. 

“It's okay gorgeous, just a little disagreement. I'm good. Cas? We gonna talk about this and not destroy any more of our home?” Gabriel asked as he looked for a sign of acquiescence.

Those words shocked Cas, our home. Yes, it was. The memories were there. Them hanging out, chilling as the humans slept. Memories of their Holidays together, of shared pain and shared issues. Cas loved his brother and that was an overwhelming feeling. Yes, Gabriel was annoying but Cas loved him. That fought with the part that hated him. He had caused so much suffering. ‘You threw him into a wall. I gave you that.’ Chuck's voice whispered through him. ‘Damn you’, he replied. The godly laughter faded as Cas let Gabe go. 

“Yes.” Cas said to Sam, “A minor disagreement.”

“Guys, Mom is going to go nuclear. They just got this painted.” Charlie commented from the doorway. 

Cas winced, “I'll get it fixed, I'm sorry everyone.”

Dean moved in and hugged him, “Jesus, please use your words next time. I thought you were going to kill him.”

Cas sneered at Gabriel, “Tempting.”

“I think I might,” Balthazar growled from behind him.

“What the hell did he do?” Sam asked and walked over to his Angel and hugged him. That was despite everyone's threats, Sam was loyal to a fault. 

“You haven't fought this bad since he slapped Dean's ass that new year,” Sam added.

The memory swam before Cas’ eyes. Yeah, he remembered. The greenhouse had required a little rebuilding after Cas had thrown Gabe through it. 

Charlie walked over to B and wrapped herself around him and he calmed. Interesting, Cas knew Dean’s soul gave him human-like emotions. Maybe Gabriel and B had a similar link with their humans? Not as integral, obviously but the connection seemed to anchor them in the same way. He watched the interaction and calmed. This was his family. Chuck had a plan. He would let Gabriel explain but he would not happy about it. His mind was trying to find a distraction but he needed to deal with the fall out of losing his shit. 

“I'm fine. I'm sorry. Can you all leave us, please? Charlie, Sam. We have to have a discussion.”

“I'm not leaving Gabriel if you're just going to pound on him Castiel. I know I'm the youngest but you can't keep things from me.” His voice cracked and Cas felt awful. The seventeen-year-old was gifted like they all were. He'd been accepted into college early and they all forgot he was still young. 

Cas moved away from Dean and looked at Sam. His big brown eyes annoyed and hinting at hurt. Cas knew they didn't fight physically, it was very out of character for a usually mild-mannered Cas. 

“I am so sorry Sam,” I swear I won't hurt him. 

“Me either,” said B, it was disingenuous and Charlie punched his arm. “Fine. I won't but when I explain you'll want me too.” 

“Sammy, I'll explain I swear but I really need to talk to them okay?” Gabriel soothed as he rested his head on Sam's shoulder. The teenager already had inches on the Angel. Gabe was willing him to let it go and finally after a staring match Sam huffed. 

Cas could remember this stage of his and Dean's relationship, from the new timeline. The place where you were together but they weren't yet adults, not in the way they would be eventually. It was a fine line to walk. 

Sam frowned, “You're sure?”

Gabe nodded. 

Charlie moved back to the door, “ I'll just tell Meg we had an earthquake or something.”

Dean laughed and it broke the tension in the room. 

The Angels relaxed and Sam followed Charlie, closing the door being them.

Cas winced as Gabriel moved out of the cracked brickwork. Shit, Mary was going to shoot his feathery butt. 

“Explain Gabriel,” Cas ordered, suddenly exhausted. 

“I'm going to sit,” added B. 

They all sat. The three large green sofas were comfortable. Dean leaned toward Cas as Gabriel started.

“Erm, so… where to start.” His brother fidgeted, all the confident pretence fading. He frowned, “I'm sorry.”

Balthazar laughed, “You have to be fucking kidding me. Do you have any idea.-”

“Yes!” Gabriel snapped, “ I do.” 

B growled, “How can you possibly-”

“Sam okay.” Gabriel interrupted him again and B looked murderous. 

“Okay Gabriel, just go on,“ Cas added.

“How are you okay with this?” Balthazar snapped. 

“Are you joking? I'm not B!” Cas growled, “-but I would like to know what's going on.” 

“Fine,” he said losing his anger and defaulting back to bored sarcasm. 

“Chuck wasn't pleased about well everything…” Gabe started, “He said I'd totally fucked up his plan.” 

Cas scowled and B snorted, “Understatement.”

“You don't know the half of it.” Gabe replied, “So, he said he was going to punish me. Teach me a lesson. I was ready for the cells or worse Hell or even humanity but instead, he gave me what I lost when I screwed the pooch.” 

Cas glanced at Dean who was staring at Gabe. His brother continued with a long sigh.

“Some days I wish he'd sent me to Hell.”

Cas startled and Gabe saw it. 

Smiling wryly as he explained, “He gave me everything. All the memories of everything I could have had. Everything I missed and then he gave me the thread to Sam's soul.”

Cas frowned and Dean asked, “What's that?” 

“ It's like-”

“It's like a rope to everything they feel. More than what we do usually, it's like we can really understand them like you do Cas but not the same.” Balthazar interrupted him, “I have the same thing with Charlie.” 

Cas smiled, “So you can feel them? Good to know.”

“I felt everything. I had these amazing memories that I hadn't experienced because of my anger... and jealousy…” Gabe continued.

“Jealousy?” Dean asked. 

Gabriel actually blushed and stood to pace, “You, well you and Cas. You had this amazing thing, this gift. Then Chuck ignored the rest of us… you were such a beautiful soul and Cas was nothing. No offence.”

“Offence is taken, you dick.” Balthazar interrupted.

“B.” 

“What?” Balthazar added, “He is.”

“I was, he's so right. I didn't get it. I just couldn't understand why Cas was so special. Why he got this human that shined, that was beautiful inside and out… I was an Archangel and the only thing he gave me were siblings who fight constantly. It just didn't seem fair. I knew Michael would send you when I was in the garden and I used it as an excuse to fuck with you.”

“You selfish fucking child,” Balthazar replied. 

Gabe smiled tightly, “I was. I have all these amazing memories but I also have the memory of Sam without me. Chuck gave me those too.”

Cas startled, “Wait like Sam who didn't know you? His memories?”

Gabe nodded and sat on the arm of the couch, “Yup. I have every time he cried and I wasn't there, every fall I could have stopped, the moment he fell in love with someone else…”

Balthazar laughed, “Well fuck. I owe Chuck a high five” 

Cas felt sick, it was bad enough feeling someone you loved reject you. That's what Gabriel had done to him. He had made him watch Dean’s incarnations choose other people but they still knew he existed. Cas' memories from the new timeline were happy because he would have chosen that life. He hadn't caused the pain they both suffered. To him, the new life was more real than Gabriel's version. Eventually, the old one would simply be faded memories. What Chuck had inflicted on his brother… was true justice.

“Wait.” Dean asked, “...how… how does That-”

Gabe paced and cringed, “I feel like shit, all the damn time. My only reprieve is when I'm cuddling Sam, it fades… but I feel how much pain I could have saved him. We're more like you and Dean than B and Charlie, he's the closest thing I have to a soul mate. It tears at me knowing I caused this. There was a time he didn't have me and I feel sick and revolted. I wish you could understand. It's like, like there's this particular reoccurring knife in my gut. The time when Sammy…” Gabe paused and took a deep steadying breath then swallowed hard. “I want you to understand but this like shoving a hot poker into my own heart. So just… right… Sammy was being bullied in high school.”

Cas felt Dean flinch, he had a feeling big brother hadn't known that. 

Gabe caught it and looked at Dean, “It's okay Dean... no-one knew, he kept it hidden. In this timeline I stopped them, they cornered him after school by the football field and I dropped them. ...but in the other… I wasn't there.” 

Cas felt the pain as if it was his own. The memories of loving Gabriel, of loving Sammy, of watching him grow and be shaped by Gabriel's love, flooded him. Remembering their friendship and hearing the thought of Sam suffering broke a part of his soul. 

Gabe looked at Cas with his eyes glazed over, pain wrecked him. It shone like a light under his skin, so bright it was painful to watch. 

The whimper which fell from his brothers' lips had Cas aching somewhere deep between his ribs. Gabriel continued and it seemed physically painful.

“That he sat there… for hours in the cold… in the rain. He cried under the bleachers alone and bloody.” Gabe shuddered, “...because I wasn't there to hold him, to stop it…I..”

A tear rolled down his face and before Cas knew it he was on his feet and wrapping Gabe in his arms. 

“God damn it” Balthazar cursed as he closed the space to his brothers, wrapping them both in his arms.

“I remember that”, Dean's voice interrupted them as it came from the couch. It was hoarse with unshed tears, “He said he got hurt at football practice.” 

Cas held Gabe for several seconds before he pulled away and walked back to wrap Dean into his embrace. His boyfriend was shaking.

Cas whispered, “it's okay… Sammy doesn't have those memories, it never happened.”

Dean nodded but shed a few tears for the memory anyway. 

Balthazar stepped back and returned to his seat. Annoyed at the compulsion to comfort Gabriel, it was all over his face. 

Cas felt drained, he just wanted to curl up with Dean.

“I'm sorry Dean. I should have been there. I know how stupid I was, I feel it every damn day. Then I have the memories of being there and somehow it makes it better and worse.” 

“It's like your own personal Hell.” This time Balthazar was less impressed and more horrified. 

Gabe nodded, “Worse. I can see the pain I put you through and have these feelings about us being amazing friends, family. Memories of movies and music and playful flirting, they are overshadowed by the pain I caused you.”

Cas took a deep breath, “Sammy will-”

“He's going to be pissed.” Gabe laughed dryly, “ It's like extra punishment.”

“No. “ Dean interrupted, “Sammy won't feel It. He'll be mad but he'll get over it because he doesn't remember.”

Gabe sat with this head in his hands, “...another fun catch is that it will be like this until you guys forgive me. How's that for a punchline?” 

“If we forgive you it fades?” 

“Yep but you have to feel it you can't simply say you forgive me.” He frowned, “So, I'm looking forward to the next.. however long.” 

Dean laughed and they all looked at him, “It won't be as long as you think. We've already started to forget.” 

Gabe stared at him, “Really?”

Cas nodded, “Sometimes it feels like the memory of a dream.”

“Chuck is devious but he wouldn't make you suffer forever. I think you should try forgiving yourself… in a few years.  
Not now... but you know maybe don't hate yourself forever.” Balthazar added. 

Cas smiled at B. They had been given a new start. A chance to be a real family and Cas could see them how they would be, friends. The anger was a pulse in his mind but there was something unfulfilling about Gabe’s suffering. Cas had his happy ending, he had Dean and that was everything to him. 

“I should go speak to Sam,” Gabe replied with a smile at his brothers' suggestion. 

“I need to speak to Charlie,” B added. 

Cas added, “I need to call the repair guy.” 

They all laughed at him. Dean snuggled into his chest and Cas relaxed back on the couch as the others left him 

“Cas?” 

“Yes, Dean.”

“Why do we all have Angels?” He asked, “It didn't seem so weird when it was Charlie and me but with Sammy too…”

Cas' mind itched and before he could reply he was clutching his head in pain. The memory came at him and he fell into it as if he was there.

The world opened up and he was standing with Chuck on a beach. It was after he had clicked his fingers and sent them back to earth but Cas hadn't been sent back, only B had. His feet were bare and the sand was cool underfoot. 

“I need to add something. I can't have a repeat of last time.” Chuck spoke into the calm summer air.

Cas glanced at him but remained silent.

“The Winchester children are important to me Castiel. That includes Charlie. They will one day replace their parents. They will be the firewall between humanity and Hell on earth. You will help Dean lead them, Sam will be their second, their coordinator, their glue. Charlie will support them and run everything else. They will be a team and they will need you three to help them, love them, support them. Look after those humans Castiel, they are the future of the human race.” 

The memory faded and Cas was left shaken. Dean turned in his arms and was staring at him in confusion. 

“Cas?” 

He turned to Dean and started to explain.


	16. Shades of grey

“Castiel!” The shrill yell came from the bottom of the stairs.

“Mom's home,” Dean said a little terrified. She did not sound happy.

“You coming?” Cas asked Dean as he rolled off the huge four-poster to face the music.

“Erm... yeah duh?” Dean laughed at Cas' frown. This was not going to be fun for Cas. For him it would be hysterical but for Cas not so much.

The memory of Mary yelling about the greenhouse popped onto his head. Yeah, she'd made Cas and Gabe rebuild the new one and do the gardening all year. That had been hilarious and he wasn't missing this. Not for anything. Dean really loved some of these new memories.

They walked down the stairs because Cas was delaying the inevitable.

“You seem happy,” Cas said as he cuddled his arm.

“Yeah. Things are better. I'm just glad we're all here and were all okay. You know?”

“I do.”

“I have all these new memories that feel like old memories and it's confusing sometimes but mostly I like it.”

Cas nodded, “Yeah, I get-”

His sentence was interrupted by Dean's sister.

“For the last time Meg, it's our family. It's how we are. You don't have to understand it but you do have to accept it.” Charlie's voice was tired and Dean moved closer to the noise.

He waved to Cas to keep going without him but wanted to make sure everything was okay with his sister. His boyfriend took to the stairs and Dean rounded the corner to Charlie's room. Balthazar was pacing the hallway and Dean stopped. B walked over out of earshot of the door and pulled Dean into the bathroom doorway.

“What's happening?

“They're arguing again,”

“I got that part B, I mean what about?”

Balthazar looked tired and stressed, worry lines creased his face. He did not do well when he couldn't protect Charlie and he couldn't protect her from her relationship.

The Angel sat on the side by the sink, his legs hanging a few inches above the floor like a child. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Dean looked at him hard and something strange happened. Wings appeared, not like real wings but Dean could see a shadow. They were high off B's back but drooping as if they were sad too. Then it was gone, Right, nope not dealing with that. Dean slotted it away in his mind to ask Cas about later.

B huffed, “It started because Meg saw Gabe cuddling Sam and she thought it was inappropriate…”

Dean had a flash of memory, “Didn't they have this same discussion at Christmas?”

B nodded, “Meg thinks it's like some weird cult and we're marrying Sam off like a child bride.”

Dean laughed but it was humourless, “ Yeah I suppose it kinda looks like that.”

Balthazar didn't become defeated often but that was swamping his expression. Dean watched him catch his pristine shoes on the white tile which covered the wall.

“B, we can't make Meg understand without crashing the world she knows down around her. How would we even start?”

“I know that Dean. I can feel Charlie's pain though and it's like a vice on my heart. Sometimes I wish I was the old me and I could turn it off.”

Dean stared at him and then punched Balthazar in the arm. He hurt his hand but it was worth it for the surprise on B's face.

“Thanks for the pick me up Dean, you really know how to cheer a guy up.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Gabriel nearly broke everything for what you're moaning about, so stop.”

B frowned, “I'm not good with this.”

Dean moved to lean on the door facing him

“The last time they argued it fixed itself. It will this time.”

B glanced at the ceiling and Dean felt a but coming.

“What aren't you telling me?”

The angel huffed, “When Chuck did his thing, I got memories. Sam is only the most recent issue. They've argued about me more than once Dean. Meg is tired of Charlie's ‘he's my best friend.’ excuse.”

“But you are her best friend…”

“Meg thinks were co-dependent.”

“Why would she-”

“I was sleeping with her and Meg came over unannounced.”

“...but you're like a security blanket. There's nothing going on.”

“Yeah but Meg has issues with men and Charlie's two best friends are you and me... and we were… no clothes”

Dean felt his eyes go wide, “Yeah I get how that could be difficult to explain.”

Meg had been emotionally abused by her boyfriend at 15. He'd banned her from having any friends, a life or anything really. It made her wary of all male/female intimate relationships. Even though she said she was bisexual, she'd dated more women than men. Dean couldn't help but think It was deliberate. He had all the memories of his conversation with Charlie. There was one constant, Meg was always suspicious. Balthazar was a little forceful. Meg seemed to forget Charlie wasn't a helpless wallflower and could hold her own. It caused issues.

“Yeah… but they're fighting about Gabe and Sam right now?”

B nodded and leaned forward, “She threatened to call child services…”

Dean snorted but froze when B’s gaze found that spot on the ceiling that he was suddenly obsessed with admiring.

“You're serious?” Dean frowned, “He's seventeen. What exactly are they going to do?”

“How am I supposed to know Dean? It's your human system. Investigate? Make life difficult.”

“What did you do B?”

“Nothing.”

“B!”

“I may have removed that thought from her mind.”

“Oh my God. Is that why Charlie was mad for two whole days near my birthday?”

B nodded.

“Fuck B. Just fuck. Does Cas know?”

“No, but I'm sure he will soon.”

“What? I don't tell him everything.”

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at him. Okay, maybe that wasn't true.

“Fuck. Does Gabe know?”

“No Dean he doesn't and it needs to stay that way. He'd tear her apart.”

Balthazar was right. Gabe wouldn't take that well at all.

“Charlie told her we’re an unusual family, didn't she? Close?”

“Yes, but how does anyone explain the boyfriends living in the house? It's weird even for humans. Then Gabe looks twenty and Sam is seventeen. They kiss and cuddle, Gabe lives with him here and at college so, yes by human standards it looks abusive.” he sighed, “ If she only knew the real age differences, she'd probably have a meltdown.”

“Ya think?” Dean smiled, “I can see it now: ‘Actually Gabriel is as old as dirt and he's not even human.’ ”

B laughed, “Yeah. It's one thing to question our relationship but to threaten Sam…”

“Not cool.”

“No. Not at all.”

“She's calling me.”

“Need back up?”

Balthazar raised his eyebrow, “No.”

Dean laughed.

“Yes. Please don't leave me.” The Angel added under his breath.

He laughed harder.

They walked to Charlie's room and Meg was nowhere to be seen.

Charlie was curled up, knees to her chest in her window seat. Tears fell slowly down her blotchy face. As Balthazar moved closer she leaned forward automatically. Dean knew that because he did the same thing with Cas. There was no thought, it was like your hair blowing in the wind, a thing happened. B slid in behind her and Dean had another of those weird flashes. B's shadow wings were wrapped around Charlie like a cocoon and then it was gone. As she sank back into him he wrapped his arms around her. His sister nuzzled into her Angel like he was a lifeline. Dean smiled, they were. Their Angels were their own personal heavens, their safe places.

Sitting on the window seat Dean put his hand on Charlie's knee, shuddering as invisible wings rubbed his hand. So weird, he ignored that as well and pushed it into the ‘Deal with it later box.’

B glanced at him like he had done something interesting but then let it go.

“Charlie bean. Are you okay?”

She rolled her eyes as Dean used her childhood pet name, it was a variation of B's and always annoyed her.

“How am I'm supposed to explain Gabe and Sam?” she started without preamble. Her tone was tired rather than angry. B took her other memory so now we're having the same argument again and I'm so tired.”

“I said I was sorry…” B added with a huff.

She glared and Dean smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

“Is she walking it off?”

Charlie nodded, “...then when she can't convince me that Gabe is a child molester, I'm suddenly in denial about me and B. I can't win with her when she’s like that. She gets so close sometimes to telling me to cut him out…”

Dean patted her knee and took his hand back. The thought of cutting Cas out killed him, so yeah he understood the pain that touched her face.

“I can't explain to her… I can't tell her how it feels when I'm here with him because every time I try she accuses me of being in love with him.”

It should have been weird talking about B like he wasn't in the room. Yet the Angel's faded into the background when they wanted to. This was one of those moments.

Her eyes filled with fresh tears. “How do I explain that he's part of me without taking something from my relationship with her?”

Dean frowned.

“...I am in love with B, that's the only way I know how to describe it.” She turned to Balthazar, “I am in love with you but…”

Balthazar smiled, a hard slash of lips as Charlie turned back to Dean.

“You're in love with her too,” Dean added.

Charlie nodded as tears ran down her face. It was a huge dilemma, their friendship was complicated.

While B slept with Charlie, the only sexual lines she crossed were with Meg. She slept naked with B wrapped equally naked around her. They'd spoken about it awkwardly one day. So when B had mentioned it in the bathroom it hadn't been a shock, simply a fact. He had the memories and pulled on them now to examine.

From the outside, it would seem like she was in denial or being a tease. ut as far as Dean knew B, had never tried to cross that line with her. She'd always been more inclined towards women. Though now Dean was thinking about it, the lack of a sexual relationship was the only thing they didn't do. He was reeling, he'd always thought of B and Charlie's relationship as different from his and Cas and Sam and Gabe’s, but was it?

Sure the sex was a difference. B got laid, Dean knew that because he talked about it but then they did things most friends didn't do. Like B snuggled Charlie, he kissed her, he held her... Dean tried to assimilate this new information. It was the same all except for the sex. B sourced sex from outside and Charlie was in a whole other relationship. As well as with B. Maybe that was the problem? They crossed normal friendship barriers but didn't fit into a relationship. Dean frowned, his brain ached.

“She is always going to have to share you, Charlie.”

His sister looked at him with a frown and Dean persevered.

“I know we don't do this really but here goes. When I'm with Cas I feel, safe, whole. When we sleep together I feel complete, like nothing will ever be better than that moment.”

She stared at him.

“How often do you and B sleep together? I don't need to know dude just… think about it. I know Meg lives with us at the house but you guys sleep apart like four days a week right? Why?”

“Make your point Winchester.” She growled defensively.

“...I always thought of you guys as friends right, we all did, you and B were different. What's the thing Kevin said A-romantic? Aromantic? I think. Like you were the exception but what if we were off the mark? What if it's more like an Asexual relationship with a Polyam twist?”

He took a deep breath and ploughed onwards. ”I've seen you have moments with B that made me seriously wonder about the sex but what if it's the sex that is the exception? Not the feelings. You guys have dates and stuff. We don't call it that but they are. …and obviously B isn't Asexual and neither are you... you get those things, you know other places that I don't ever need to think about or talk about ever. I don't know about you Charles but I can't imagine not sharing my bed with Cas. …and I bet if Meg made you choose between being her one and only, and sleeping with B?...”

He let the question hang in the air and watched the thoughts run over his sister's face. It finally settled into shock.

“Fuck,” she whispered as her eyes went wide, B wrapped his arms tighter around her and kissed her neck. If Dean didn't know better he'd say the Angel was nervous.

Dean watched with his new perspective and it all slotted into place. Lines had been drawn by Charlie and B had simply adapted.

“You're right… I'll never admit that I said it but… yeah. If she gave me an ultimatum, just fuck. I'd choose B. I can't…”

“It would be like losing a part of yourself right?”

She nodded, “I didn't think about it until she found us together in bed. I just… never thought about it. She was so mad but I couldn't understand why. Like I know most people don't do that but B doesn't hit my radar that way.”

“...but he hugs and kisses you more than a friend. It's gotta be weird for her.”

Balthazar was exceptionally quiet. It was unnerving. He stared silently out of the window into the damp spring afternoon.

She thought about it, “Yeah we fought about that too. He kissed me on the lips at Christmas and she went nuts. ‘Friends don't kiss like that' and I didn't have an answer for her that didn't sound like a denial. She knew how B and I were before we hooked up but it's like she expected him to step back or something?”

“Yeah… I get that… but it wouldn't feel natural not to touch him right?” Dean added then stood as Charlie nodded.

He smiled, “Just… be happy Sis. Whatever you decide.”

This whole thing was crazy but it made so much sense now. He wondered how Meg would feel when Charlie told her B would be around forever? Because there really was no other option.

Dean understood now that she felt for B like he did for Cas and nothing would keep him from his Angel. Maybe that was the reason the ultimatum hadn't been given because Meg knew she would lose?

Balthazar didn't move until Dean was at the door and he heard him whisper, “I love you.” to his sister.

He couldn't help but smile.

Then he remembered Cas and his impending doom.

It was quiet. Too quiet.


	17. A Stampede of emotion

Cas cringed as his foot touched the kitchen floor. Mary Winchester was standing by the sink muttering under her breath. Something about celestial beings being the bane of her existence. Coughing brought her attention to him and he regretted it immediately. 

“Explain. Now.”   
It was calm and controlled, Mary wasn’t one for dramatics. He almost laughed at the contrasting memory from the other timeline. That had been very dramatic. 

“It’s a long story and I should wait for Dean. How can I make it right?”

She raised her eyebrow, an expression that Dean had picked up and perfected. 

“Gabriel.” She muttered and his brother appeared to her right, “You’re both going to fix my wall. Then you are going to repaint the entire room. I thought we were past this, over you two destroying our home?”

Cas felt the guilt as he glanced at Gabe who shrugged and replied, “We’re sorry?”

She rolled her eyes, “You can muck out the horses for two weeks. Will that make it less of a question?”

Gabe groaned and hung his head like a disgruntled teenager. 

“…but Mary… Cas-”

“Cas would not have thrown you at my wall without a reason. I know him and I know you, don’t try to get around me, Gabe.”

“Fine… but I would like my disapproval of mutual punishment noted.” 

“It is noted, every single time.” She laughed as she dried a cup with a towel. 

“And that we’re-”

“Several millennium old soldiers of God and will not be bossed by a human woman?”

Gabe scowled as she finished his tirade. Cas gave him a ‘shut the fuck up look’ he always made it worse. 

“Yes, Mary.” 

“Three weeks and you can brush them.”

His brother huffed and folded his arms across his chest in defiance.

“I can make it four, you can pop back here every day I don’t-”

“Fine. I’m sorry…” Gabe grinned 

Mary’s stern face wavered, “You two are idiots. Why couldn’t God have blessed me with kind, considerate, less damage prone guardians instead of you celestial pains in my ass?”

“You’d have to ask him,” Gabe added and he had paled slightly. 

Cas thought he knew what was flying through his brother's mind. What if Chuck took Sam away? The warm feeling that Cas had begun to associate with his father's presence filtered through him. He was relieved at the reassurance that it wasn’t part of the plan. Good, they had all suffered enough. Mary was about to add something but Meg stormed down the stairs, glared at them all and left through the front door. The slam was followed by silence as they exchanged a look. What was that all about?

Dean didn’t follow so Cas assumed whatever it was wasn’t over.

Gabe shrugged and added, “That’s going to be fun for the next week. I’m going to find Sam. We good here?” 

Mary smiled and Gabe vanished.

“Week? I thought we were here for two?” Cas asked.

“Didn’t Charlie mention-” Mary started and then on glancing at the front door decided that, no, her daughter hadn’t said anything. She had drama of her own. “-We’re going to New York for the second week, we were hoping to do some family things. John has to work for two days but the rest of the time we were thinking about dining out, shows and shopping. Spend some time together. I know Dean won't like flying again so soon but at least we're back and then you can beam back to MIT?”

Cas nodded, “Sounds great. It’s a shorter flight, he’ll be happier about that. It’s not cheating.”

“My poor boy. He has serious issues with flying.” She chuckled, “Never did like things he couldn’t control.” 

Smiling, Cas added, “…maybe.” It was inappropriate to mention that Dean was happy to relinquish control. Only to Cas but he was happy to think about it though. 

“You’re not hiding that thought half as well as you think, feathers.” She said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. 

Cas blushed but grinned, “Sorry… Where’s John?”

Mary laughed at the swift change of subject, “He’s at the stables. We had a long day and he wanted to blow off some steam. Mazal needed a run so he took him out.”

Maz was seventeen hands of black thoroughbred racehorse who had a hell of a temper. Charlie had begged her father to take him when he had broken his leg during a race. Royal Ascot had been fun until fourteen-year-old Charlie and Dean had decided to check on the wounded horse. The owners had been ready to shoot him and Cas had to step in when Dean had sized up to a man twice his size to protect the horse. Charlie had been soothing the animal when Balthazar had dropped both men into a sleeping pile on the floor. 

Cas had picked up John and after some discussion, aka whining from his children, he’d caved. The horse only let Dean, Charlie and John anywhere near it, the Angels were an exception because animals loved them. Mary seemed put out by the horse's dislike of her and even more annoyed that it preferred Gabriel. Charlie had named him because she refused to use the name his owners had given them. “Lucky.” She’d said, and B had frowned then added “What about Mazal? It means lucky in the old language.” Charlie had hugged him and agreed. Once B healed the horse, Maz had chewed on his jacket as a thank you. Cas grinned harder at the memory.

“Now get out of my kitchen. Donny will be over to cook dinner soon and I need to make look like I actually tried to fake preparing the sauce.”

Laughing, Cas hugged her. The embrace was familiar and comfortable. Mary had always treated them like sons in this timeline. It was amazing how loving he could feel towards a woman that helped to shoot him in the other. Love rolled through him, he would do anything for this family. Anything. 

“You have to explain about Gabe later though, alright?” she said into his ear and smiled as he backed away. 

“We will.” Cas looked over his shoulder and decided someone should go after Meg.”I think I’ll go and check on Meg.”

“You’re a good person Castiel. You really are.” Mary added as he walked away. 

The smile was still on his face as he exited the house, sadly it didn’t last long. He rounded the front lawn to the back of the property.

“You are disgusting.” The words were full of venom. 

“Gabriel, stop.” Sam’s voice followed, full of panic. 

Cas ran around the corner to the rear yard and slammed into a full-blown argument. 

Sam was standing between Meg and Gabriel like a human wall. His brother, who wasn’t known for his patience had a look thunder on his face, the Archangel was on the edge. 

“You don’t understand Meg. It’s okay, really.” Sam attempted to placate her but the young woman was furious. 

“No, it’s not Sam. He’s taking advantage of you and I don’t understand why everyone allows it!” 

“It’s not like that Meg.” 

Sam had a hand on Gabe’s chest; it was a gesture because they all knew that if he lost it, nothing would stop him.

“Gabriel, what’s going on?” Cas interrupted as he jogged over, addressing his brother in an attempt to distract him. It didn’t work, he didn’t even glance. Cas’ jeans became damp as his bare feet moved over the grass. 

“Meg is upset about Gabe kissing me,” Sam answered because Gabriel couldn’t seem to unclench his teeth. 

Storm clouds had rolled back in and rain threatened.

Meg turned on Cas, “…and you, you’re better than this Cas. How can you let him do this? Sam is just a child!” 

Sam’s temper spiked, he hated being referred to as a child, he was a hunter. Meg didn’t know that, she didn’t see the strength in him, only his age and that was a mistake. Cas’ young friend stepped back, side by side with Gabriel and took his hand. The Archangel breathed a little easier, skin contact helping him focus. 

“Meg. You’re overstepping.”

“Someone needs to, it’s disgusting.” She spat as Cas moved closer. 

“What’s going on?” Mary asked as the crossed the lawn. 

Cas answered because Meg wasn’t in her right mind. Obviously, things with Charlie hadn’t gone well. Anything that came out of her mouth was only going to escalate things.

“Meg is taking objection to Gabriel’s physical affection with Sam.”

“Oh?” Mary frowned, unsure of how to deal with the situation. This was the first time they had an outsider around. Well, around enough to notice their unusual living conditions. 

Cas could see it all over her face so he added, “I was about to explain that Gabriel hadn’t crossed any lines that either Sammy or yourself would not be happy with.” 

Mary seemed to understand and nodded, “Of course.” She looked at Meg and added, “Nothing like that is going on. I think you’re overreacting.”

The short blond woman, already furious, took it up a notch. “He.” She threw an arm out to point at Gabe, “…is a predator. You’re all delusional. What is he twenty-two? As a parent how can you let him take advantage of your son this way? Letting him live in your house? With him at college? He needs protecting!”

Gabriel growled, “Sam can look after himself.”

“Hey, what's going on?” Dean asked as he ran over. 

Meg answered, “Dean, please make them see my point. You love Sam, I know you do, how can you let this… person, take advantage of him like it’s okay?”

His boyfriend frowned, Meg’s anger was fading into the threat of tears. None of them knew how to solve this so Cas sent a quick prayer up to Balthazar. He asked him to bring Charlie, maybe she could defuse the situation? Seconds later they dropped in. This was becoming quite a party, he wished it was the fun kind.

“Meg?” Charlie’s voice called from his left, her voice dripping with exhaustion. 

Her girlfriend scowled, “What? Did you expect me to let this go?”

Cas understood then, this was part of the argument that had led to her storming off. 

Balthazar frowned, his own anger provoked by Meg’s tone. No-one spoke to Charlie like that, no-one but him. 

The energy in the air was coarse against his skin, there was so much anger he could almost taste it. Cas wasn’t angry though, no, he was worried. This could all blow up very quickly. Dean took his hand as if he could feel Cas’ concern, the tension radiated from him in waves.

“I didn’t expect you to confront Gabriel. I explained this is how we are, I don’t understand-”

“No, you don’t. You live out here in Hicksville and you have no idea that this is child abuse!” 

The family collectively gasped.

“That’s enough Meg!” Charlie yelled, which caused another gasp. Charlie never yelled, except at Balthazar and only ever playfully. 

B stepped in and wrapped his arms around his charge which stoked Meg's anger, rage simmered in her eyes. 

“I don’t know what I expected. You’re basically cheating on me, it’s not like I can expect you to have a straight moral compass is it?” She scowled. 

The argument had just become even more personal. 

Cas wanted to back out and take Dean with him but couldn’t find a way of doing it that wouldn't draw attention to them. Gabriel glanced at him and Cas could see the same indecision. He shrugged at his brother; it looked like they were staying. 

Charlie moved away from B and stepped towards Meg staying just out of her reach. “Balthazar is-” She paused looking for words to describe it, “-mine.”

“Then what am I, Charlie? Huh? What have we been doing? You say you’re gay but you sleep with him… you choose to sleep with him over me for half of the week! I don’t know how you expect me to deal with that?”

Cas shuffled, the level of uncomfortable had just powered up from ‘We should leave’ to ‘I wish the ground would swallow me’.

Dean was visibly uncomfortable. He kept squeezing Cas’ hand in an effort to remain as still as possible. 

“I told you, it’s-”

“Complicated? I swear if you say that one more time-”

“What? You’ll what?” Charlie glanced at Dean and his beau nodded. Something had happened, Cas watched the exchange with interest. “I am in love with him. We sleep together. I can’t be without him…” she added and then growled at Meg’s expression, “…and no I’m not fucking him! Why can’t you understand that I’m in love with you both?”

Meg froze, “You’re in love with him?”

The whole family were glancing at B and Charlie, Cas knew his eyes were wide. This was the first time she’d ever put human expressions of love to their relationship. Everyone, except Dean and Balthazar, were shocked. 

Charlie had her hands clenched in fists as the first tears ran down her face, “Yes. I just realised it, I am in love with him. We don’t…” she suddenly realised her Mom was present and checked her language. “…you know but yes Meg I am in love with B. He’s a part of me.”

The Angel in question slid up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, she settled into his large chest. Cas knew she had no real choice in it. Unless she was angry at him the pull was a form of magnetism; they were drawn together.

“So you lied to me? You’re not gay!” Tears spilt down Meg's face as the anger bubbled over.

“No! Yes! I mean…” Charlie yelled again, “…No. I love you, I just can’t be yours, not like you want me to be. I’m gay, I just… B is an exception.”

“Fine.” Meg whispered, “I’ll go.”

“Meg, please… that’s not…”

“You all deserve each other, you know that?” She flung at them as she stormed off, “I’ll get my stuff and I’ll be moved out of the house by the end of the break.”

Charlie didn’t say a word, she simply watched her girlfriend leave. 

The silence was fragile like cracked glass. 

Mary broke it, “Princess? Are you-”

The redhead sank to her knees; the damp grass stained her beige sweats with moisture. Silent tears tracked her pale cheeks as her eyes froze wide and unseeing. B dropped, trying to take her pain. 

They all froze, unsure who should go, who should stay… Then the dam broke and she started to sob. Dean moved first and joined them on the grass. His large frame wrapped around his sister and her Angel. Sammy was next, then Mary who was sobbing herself. 

Charlie was fighting for breath as her chest heaved. It hurt Cas to watch and his heart tore for her. He and Gabe moved together and they crouched on the edge of the group. Cas’ right hand touched Dean’s left shoulder and Gabe rested his hand on Sam’s neck as the young man cried silent tears.

They sat and felt every sob with Charlie, every ebb of pain. 

Decisions had been made today, she had chosen a complicated path, one that some people would never understand. As Cas sat there he felt Dean’s love and pain for his sister. He wondered whether Charlie had really had any choice at all? He wondered whether Mary Winchester in the other timeline had been correct? These choices had been made for them at birth, was there really any choice at all? Did it matter? Was Chuck’s plan worth these three losing their ability to choose who they could love? Did it make up for it by how much they were loved? How consuming it was? 

Cas really didn’t know… He sat on the lawn with his family. With the love of his life and he hoped that the family, that Dean, was better with him because he was better with them.


	18. A forest of love

Dinner helped to relieve the last of the tension from the day. It was relaxed and calm. Charlie and B had retired to their room after the fight and so it was the rest of them minus those two. 

“So, I missed all the fun huh?” His dad asked as he sat next to his Mom at the table. 

Dean had his mouth full of lasagne so Sam answered. 

“Yeah. It was… hard.”

John leaned in and hugged his youngest which had them all smiling. 

“Well, sometimes these things are not meant to be.” The tall man added as he ate some peas. 

Dean swallowed and added, “I’ve never seen Meg that angry, she really couldn’t accept them. I don't know if I can forgive her for that Dad, she said some pretty fucked up shit.”

His father gave him ‘the look’ and Dean glared, he wasn’t five he could swear if he wanted to. 

Cas squeezed his knee and he glanced to his right, “Sorry Dad, today... sucked.”

John smiled, “Son, we’re a family and whatever my princess is going through we’ll deal together.”

“B is with her but I think I’ll take her some of that orange cocoa after dinner,” Sam added. 

Dean smiled, “Yeah, she’d like that.”

“So, which one of us is going after Meg?” Gabriel asked with his tone like ice. 

“You can if you like.” 

“Dad!”

“Dean, I know she’s your friend but she knows far too much.”

“Send Cas, at least he’ll leave her with something nice…” 

Gabriel glared, “She doesn’t deserve anything nice.” 

Sam hugged his Angel and looked at Dean, “I think Cas is a great idea.”

Gabriel turned and looked at his boyfriend with a hurt frown, “You don’t trust me?”

“Not to do this, Meg was our friend. She deserves to be happy again in the future.”

“I’ll go, I don’t mind,” Cas added and Dean was relieved.

John shrugged, “Just get it done boys.” 

 

Cas stared at Gabe, some silent war raged until Gabe huffed and went back to eating. Then it happened again, Dean saw wings. Gabriel’s stretched and flicked as he settled back into his chair. 

"How was Maz?" Dean asked. 

"Fast today, I think he twisted his ankle, could one of you boys check on that for me?" 

Gabe blinked out and the thirty seconds later he was back, "Good as new."

Mary smiled at him and John said, "Thank you." 

Dean loved watching his family, they really were happy. His mind flicked to the fight and he pulled it away, done with thinking about the bad. Then he remembered the wings.

“So, a funny thing keeps happening,” Dean said casually across the table. “I keep seeing Angel wings.”

Cas froze. Gabe froze. The humans turned and stared at him with wide eyes. 

“I’m sorry honey, could you say that again please?" His Mom asked with her fork halfway to her mouth.

Dean swallowed another mouthful of fries. “Just now, I saw Gabe’s wings and earlier too with B… maybe it's to do with the whole Demi-God thing?”

John coughed as his food became stuck.

“Er Dean, I haven’t explained anything yet,” Cas said softly as his family stared at them. 

Dean turned on Cas, “I thought you… oh fuck.” 

“You two need to explain, right now.”

Gabe sank into his chair and Sam hugged him. Seemed like Dean and Cas weren’t the only ones who had some explaining to do. 

They finished dinner and moved to the lounge. It was one of Dean’s favourite rooms in the house. The open fireplace was roaring, it took the spring chill from the room. The walls were covered in Cas’ art and the sofas were some of the comfiest he’d ever sat on. With the lighting low and the flickering of the fire, the mood was calm and relaxed. 

His family gathered around and Cas started the tale. Sam already knew most of it and Cas’ left out the emotions, Gabe was sorry and that was all that mattered. They didn't need to hear all the heartache and Cas didn't want to recount it, Dean could tell. 

“Then we got shot.”

John baulked, “Who shot you?”

Cas glanced at Mary without thinking and her eyes went wide. Dean knew he imminently regretted it. 

Mary had tears in her eyes.

“Mom, what's wrong?”

She wiped her face, “I shot you.”

Dean moved over and wrapped his arms around her and Cas sighed, clearly annoyed at himself. “Well not really, Ash was the one with the Colt. You were just back up.”

“Who’s Ash?” she asked. 

Dean was thinking the same thing. 

Cas laughed, “You know, Ash? Dean’s friend, Men of letters…”

They all stared at him and Dean wasn’t sure what was happening. Was Cas trying to make his Mom feel better by making this Ash guy up?

Cas turned to Gabe who’s eye were wide. 

“You’re not joking, are you? You really don’t remember?” Gabe asked them.

They all shook their heads and the Angels exchanged a look. 

“You don’t think…?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I think,” Cas replied to Gabe. 

“What’s going on Cas?” Dean asked as his stomach rolled, something was very wrong. 

His love frowned and added, “Ash was in the other timeline but he’s not in this one which means he was removed. It wasn’t Gabe and it was his construct so it’s either Chuck or…”

“Or we have another player on the board,” Gabe added. 

“What do you mean?” asked Sam, confusion worrying his brow.

“I’m pretty sure Chuck wouldn’t care enough about a random human in Dean’s life to remove him. So, we have someone who infiltrated my timeline to add to the mayhem,” Gabe added.

“Oh, Ash definitely caused mayhem,” Cas added. He’d left out the details before but turned to Dean and added, “Ash was the one who told K.C and he made his objections towards me very clear.”

“No that was one of the guys on the football team they saw us in the coffee shop.”

Cas smiled, “No, it was Ash.”

“Fuck…” Dean cursed, “So, does this mean someone else was trying to keep us apart?”

Cas nodded, “Yeah, I think it might.”

“Well shit.” 

Well shit indeed. 

Cas retold the tale completely, including all the people involved. Ash was the only one Dean couldn't remember. He wrecked his brain over and over but there was no recollection of the guy. 

"Well, that's, insane," Mary said as she considered it all. His Dad just looked thoughtful and slightly angry. There was a distance with the emotions thought, for Cas and him it was real though fading. For them, this was their timeline, the only thing they could remember and Dean was happy with that. The anger would fade; they'd get over it soon.

“Gabriel, I’m disappointed in you.” Mary scolded, “How could you hurt them like that?”

Gabe folded in on himself and Sam hugged him. 

“Mom!” he’s hurt enough, “Can we let it go please?”

Mary sighed as she glanced at her youngest, “I’m sorry Gabe…”

“No, it’s alright, you’re right. I was a dick, that’s why Cas threw me into a wall.”

John laughed, then so did Dean. Mary and Sam followed and eventually, Cas and Gabe joined them. The laughter diffused some of the tension and they all relaxed back into their seats. 

Dean had an idea, "Cas could you draw him? This Ash guy and see if it hits any memories?"

Cas nodded, "I'll get on it later."

Turning to his folks Dean asked, "Are you guys okay? I know this is weird, even for us."

“Its... that’s just an awful lot of information to absorb.” His Dad said, “A Demi-God… does that mean you have powers?”

Dean thought about it, “I can see the Angels wings but so far that's all.”

Cas smiled, “Have you seen mine?”

“No, just Gabe’s and B’s.” Dean shrugged, “It only happens now and again and I haven't spotted a pattern yet.”

Cas looked disappointed so Dean leaned in and hugged him. The calm feeling of being close to Cas flowed over him and took away the edge of anxiety that was creeping in.

“We need to figure out who Ash was.” Gabe added, “There could be someone out there trying to mess with you still.”

“Yeah, who though?” Sam replied.

Dean shuddered, he had no idea but one thing was for certain, he didn’t like it. 

Ten minutes later and Dean decided to go check on Charlie. He stole Sam’s cocoa idea and told Cas to meet him upstairs in a moment. He wanted to relax with his love by his side and forget the trauma of the day. 

It was eight and the sun had set. As he knocked on his sister and her Angel's door he admired the night sky through the window in the hall. He really did love stars. 

“Come in.” B’s voice called and Dean entered. 

They were sitting on the bed in their PJ’s playing on the Xbox. Charlie seemed happier but there was still a tension in her shoulders. 

“I brought cocoa.” Dean announced as he placed it on the table next to her.”

She smiled, “Thanks, bro.”

“You’re such a cheat!” B raged as the game ended. 

“Don’t blame me because you can’t keep up.” She smiled and it was flirtatious. Dean was startled and so was Charlie. 

“I’m sorry… I… I don’t know what that was.” She said to B who was watching her carefully. 

“I’m gonna go…” Dean said feeling super awkward as the two of them stared at each other. 

Yeah, it’d been a long day. 

Letting out a slow breath he made his way to his and Cas’ room. His Angel was lying on their bed in his boxers and nothing else; it took Dean’s breath away. 

“Cas?” Dean asked as he walked seductively towards the bed.

“Hello, Dean.”

His man propped himself up on his elbow, a sexy smile playing on his lips. 

“I feel stressed…” Dean replied

Cas’ eyes went wide, “How stressed?”

“Like I need someone to take it all away, just for a while?”

“Come here.”

Dean moved and Cas wrapped him in his arms, in a flash they were in a warm forest. The sun was shining gently overhead and a solid blue sky gazed back at him. Having his own Angel was amazing. 

“Strip,” Cas ordered and Dean complied. The excitement of being somewhere in the world, somewhere unknown and public sent shivers to his cock. In seconds he was rock hard. The sweats came off easily and once he was naked Cas pressed him chest forwards into a large tree. The bark was rough as it ground his skin and the pleasure-pain sensation had him moaning softly. 

Dean's hands held him steady, the tree was warm from the sun and he sighed. Cas always picked the best places. The angel stood behind him and Dean knew he was admiring the view. 

“You’re stunning.” The words were a whisper and Dean shuddered. His cock rubbed helplessly against the bark causing a delicious frustration. 

“I want to hear everything, you understand? Every moan, every scream, I don’t care who comes, unless it's you.”

Dean almost laughed but Cas’ tone was deadly serious. He felt hands skimming down his back, then over his ass. The slap was hard with no warning or build up. The pain coursed through his cheek and had him moaning Cas’ name, begging. Cool, slick fingers pressed against his tight bud. Cas pressed his full length along Dean back, teeth found his shoulder. Dean’s eyes fluttered closed. Safe, he felt so safe. The finger worked inside him, opening him up and then a second was added. The stretch was perfection. Cas’ teeth dug harder and Dean nearly passed out with the shock waves of pleasure. Cas growled and that was Dean's cue to make himself cum. Taking his solid dick in his hand he worked his body into a ball of frenzied pleasure then came in a panting mess within seconds. Cas didn’t want him to savour it, he wanted to use his cum to enter him. Teeth ground his skin as he bucked his release. Fingers were removed and Cas released his shoulder, he felt empty at the sudden separation. The grunt of dissatisfaction got him another ass slap which was harder and would leave a handprint tomorrow. It forced a wave of pleasure from his groin through the rest of his body and after the previous orgasm, his knees buckled. Cas held him until he regained his balance. The sexy man's skin was silk perfection on his and everything ached with need. 

The Angel took Dean’s arms and pinned them above his head while the other rubbed the slick mess and used it to lube his throbbing cock. Dean squirmed as Cas forced him against the tree, trying to find a comfortable position but with his arms pinned there was no moving. Cas was too strong and at that realisation, as always, peace followed over him. Then a shock of pain and pleasure as Cas’ cock forced its way inside him. 

“Oh, Cas… fuck.” Dean moaned. 

The force would be too much for some but Dean had a masochist streak, the pain was part of the pleasure. Cas used all that unnatural strength to force his way in. 

The gasp had Cas freezing, just for a second. There was a part of his lover that hated this but he’d come to understand that Dean needed it. Pressure filled him inside and he begged for Cas to move, to fuck him mercilessly as he pinned him in this beautiful place. Cas moved and Dean saw something amazing from the corner of his eye. Huge black wings that were stretched at eight feet wide either side of them, shielding them, in a flash they were gone. 

“I saw them; I saw your wings Cas…”

His love didn’t reply only moved in to kiss his neck as he bottomed out inside his hole. 

“Oh, Jesus…” Dean’s breath left him, he was so full. 

“Scream for me,” Cas growled as he started to fuck his lover relentlessly. 

...and Dean did until he was hoarse and breathless. Until Cas’ dick was the only thing he could feel. Until the Day melted away into nothingness and they were the only two beings left on their utopian corner of the planet.


	19. Just like a tidal wave

Once Dean had fallen asleep, Cas worked on the Ash portrait. Usually, after sex, he would stay all night and watch him sleep but he was restless. After going over the past timeline he was still no closer to an answer. No closer to working out whom or what wanted to keep him and Dean apart or why. One thing was for certain, whoever it was had power and wasn’t scared of Chuck’s wrath. 

As dawn rose over the lawn Cas decided he should find Meg and get that wrapped up. It would just be a simple block on the memories from the last few days and an implant that she and Charlie had parted ways amicably. Cas had spoken to B as he’d been drawing and they’d agreed with Charlie it would be best. The poor thing had barely slept all night and at three am she’d called B to confirm that a block would be best, just while she was figuring things out. She hated it but the family came first. 

Cas dressed in his jeans and a black t-shirt that read ‘I believe in Angels’. Dean thought it was funny, or ironic or something. The trainers were black and matched well. Right, no more stalling he chastised himself and blinked out.   
Meg was still at the hotel next to the airport, finding her room wasn’t a problem. He knocked once and then again but there was no answer. At this time in a morning she should be sleeping so he blinked into the room. Meg was lying on her bed and Cas moved over to her side carefully as not to wake her. She was in a deep sleep and as he laid his hand on her brow, he shuddered. Something was… off. Closing his eyes he felt Meg’s aura then froze, his eyes flying wide open. 

“Oh, Meg…” Cas whispered as he stroked his friend's hair. 

Cas could feel a spell, it was deep-set and had been working on her for a while. How had none of them noticed? He healed her as much as he could but her mind was lost in sleep. Removing the memories of them, because that’s what was necessary, he sighed. Lifting her he blinked out and strode into the bunker with her in his arms.

The doctor on call was a tall blond woman named Ellen. With the knowledge that Meg was in good hands, he blinked back home to tell the others what was happening. Mary was the first he told and Gabe beamed her over to the bunker to see if she could help. 

As sunlight flooded the kitchen and John made coffee, Cas broke the news to the rest of the family. 

“Meg is in a coma.” He pushed out as his heart broke.

“What? How…?” Charlie yelled.

“It felt like a spell” Cas looked over at B as Dean moved into his side, “Did you sense anything?”

B looked physically ill as he shook his head, “No, I would have said something.”

“Whoever placed it was skilled. I was touching her and I only picked up the taint on her aura like an echo.”

“So she wasn’t mad at me?” Charlie sobbed and clung to B. 

Cas shrugged, “I really don’t know, I’m not sure what the spell was doing but her aura felt tainted, dirty. As if someone had been stripping her emotions back. Not allowing her any perspective. So she may not have had any control over herself.”

“Could you tell how long she’d been that way?” John asked.

“Weeks maybe, maybe more? Maybe they'll find out at the bunker?” Cas replied.

Gabe popped in, and they all turned to look at him, “Mary says they’re doing everything they can.”

“Are you going to her Charlie?” Dean asked his sister.

The girl looked torn. Her heartache fighting the concern but eventually, she nodded, “I’ll get ready and then we can go B?”

Her Angel nodded and passed her a steaming mug of coffee. Taking it with shaking hands Dean followed his sister into the sun-room and Cas followed Dean. 

Charlie curled up in a huge chair with B and Cas snuggled into one with Dean. 

“How did this happen?” Charlie whispered as tears dried on her cheeks, “How did I not see it?”

B hugged her and answered, “None of us saw it. Whoever it was is very talented. It took root slowly and we just thought she was becoming jealous and erratic.” 

“I should have seen it,” Charlie said.

“It isn’t your fault,” Dean added with a supportive smile. 

“We’re Angels Charlie, if anyone should have seen it, it should have been us. She hadn’t hugged any of us in weeks and we assumed it was because you guys were arguing, it was very well done.” 

“Why would anyone do this?” B asked, “What the hell is going on?”

Cas really didn’t know but he had a sinking feeling that things were only just beginning. 

The next few days passed in a blur, Dean and Cas worked at the bunker trying to figure out who Ash was but with no luck. By the third day, Cas was frustrated and ready to kill someone. 

Meg had improved slightly. A combination of spell work and regular angel healing was helping to get her aura and her mind back into one piece. Charlie and B had been staying at the bunker and it was Charlie who ran into the library grinning. 

“She’s awake.”

Dean and Cas moved with her and ran into the room where their friend was sitting up. She looked tired and confused but otherwise well. 

Doc Ellen moved into Meg’s space and flashed a light into her eyes. Then asked, “Do you know your name?”

Meg wrinkled her face and then said, “Meg Masters.”

Ellen smiled, “Can you tell me what year is it?” 

“2018.”

“That's good Meg. How are you feeling?”

“Tired…” she looked around at the smiling faces and frowned, “…who are you people?”

Charlie laughed, “That’s not funny!” 

Meg stared at her, “I don’t understand… are we friends? Do I know you?”

Cas froze and so did everyone else. Everyone except the doctor.

“Meg, what is the last thing you remember,” Ellen asked. 

His friend thought about it and then answered, “I was signing up for classes at MIT yesterday, it’s my first year.”

Cas felt sick and the room started to spin. Dean was almost as green as his eyes. 

“That’s wonderful Meg.” Ellen turned to them all and ushered them into the library. 

Charlie sat stunned and paler than usual in a chair with B standing to her right. Dean was pacing and Cas stomach churned.

Ellen looked at each one of them and started, “It seems she had a form of amnesia. We will do some more tests and see if it can be reversed, but until then I think it’s best that you go about your lives. You can visit Charlie but I don’t want her to become panicked or confused. So, the others have to stay away and do not tell her anything about this last year alright, not until we can figure out what is happening.”

Charlie nodded. 

“I think it was my fault,” Cas said and they all turned to look at him. 

Dean stared at him, “What?”

“I removed the memory of the last few days; it may have had a knock-on effect.”

Ellen frowned, “The spell was not concentrated on her mind Castiel, it was on her emotions. Don’t worry, you didn’t do this. It was probably the shock of the spell being lifted okay?”

He nodded but couldn’t help feeling guilty; Dean hugged him tight as the emotion washed through. 

Charlie smiled at him tightly, “Maybe it’s for the best?” Her eyes filled with tears.

B crouched in front of her and wrapped himself around her waist, “Don’t say that.”

“No, she’s hurt because she knew us.” Charlie sniffled, “Maybe this way she’ll be safe.” 

Cas’ heart broke as Dean put his head on his shoulder. 

“I think Charlie is right,” Mary said from behind them and they turned together. She walked over to her daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe it’s best of Meg starts over without us. I know you're hurting princess, but I think you're right.” 

Charlie leaned in and said something to B, he nodded and then she said, “We’ll see you at home.” 

They blinked out and Cas looked at Mary, “I really don’t know what is going on…”

“Me either, but we’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Cas and Dean returned home at five in time for burgers that the chef was making. None of them, except Dean, ever cooked. Mary hated it and John was always busy, the others had no inclination. Dean seemed to be the only domestic one amongst them. 

Cas and Dean took their burgers then headed outside. 

“Shall we eat these on the beach?” Cas asked on seeing Dean struggling with everything that had been happening. His beau nodded and Cas blinked them out. 

The cove was all white sand and turquoise ocean. Dean sighed and buried his feet in the sand. Cas leaned over and rolled his jeans up which made the taller man smile. Peace fell over Cas and the waves crashed against the shore he leaned into Deans' shoulder. They watched the sunset and lay staring at the stars for hours before returning home. 

It was two days later when Mary suggested continuing to New York as planned. 

Cas was sitting by the pool as Dean had a late swim. Darkness had fallen hours ago and the stars shined above them. Steam rose from the heated water and the atmosphere was magical. 

“I think that’s a good idea. Charlie could do with the distraction.” B said from his left. 

“That’s what I was thinking. If she wants to visit you can blink her back?”

B nodded. 

“Are we flying?” Dean asked as he swam to the edge, his toned body glistening in the pool light.

“Yes, your father needs to take the jet so we’ll travel together. He wants to leave tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay.” 

Cas smiled, Dean wasn’t happy but would comply because he hated being a coward. 

“Cas, your wings are in the water,” Dean said and they all turned to stare at him. Cas had been sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet immersed and yes, his wings were dipped in.

“Is it bothering you?” Cas asked amused. 

Dean frowned, “No. Did you know?”

B laughed, “Of course he knew.”

Scowling Dean flicked water at his friend, “How am I supposed to know?”

“Er ask?” B chastised, “You’ve had him around, like forever and you’ve never asked about his wings?”

Dean flushed with embarrassment, “I suppose I didn’t really think about it.”

Cas smiled, “Leave him alone B.”

B rolled his eyes and Cas saw him have a thought, oh no. 

“So Dean, seeing as you can see our wings…”

“B, no!”

Before Cas could move, Balthazar flicked his wings and a wave of water flew at Dean knocking him backwards.

Mary laughed as her eldest was sucked under the warm water. 

“That literally had nothing to do with seeing your wings did it?” He sputtered as he came back to the surface.

B was almost rolling around laughing and Cas was trying not to smile but failed. The last few days had been really tense and they needed a laugh.

Mary was full belly laughing as Dean climbed from the pool.

“I hate you B, like really.” He said as he wiped his face with a towel. “…and you, aren’t you suppose to guard me against things like tidal waves?”

Cas laughed then and Dean joined them. 

They were still laughing when Dean jumped into the shower and Cas followed him. 

“I don’t think you deserve a reward.” Dean chuckled as he stepped into the multi-headed cubicle. The thing could hold four people easily. 

“Oh really?” Cas smiled as he pressed himself against Dean’s naked back. 

“Yes really!” 

“What about if I apologise?” Cas said lowering his voice and leaning into Dean’s ear. His boyfriend shuddered as he turned and backed into the tile. 

Cas wrapped his hand around Dean’s hardening cock and fell to his knees. All the while keeping Dean’s gaze. Holy shit those eyes were sexy. 

“You’ll have to apologise very thoroughly.” Dean sighed as Cas’ mouth wrapped around his hard length. Cas deep throated him in one smooth motion. One of the benefits of being a celestial ball of light was not having to breathe if he chose not to. 

“Oh Cas… oh god, oh god…”

Dean’s hands clutched at the bare tile and at Cas’ hair as his lips met Dean’s groin. The vessel's throat wasn’t really made for this but Dean enjoyed it so Cas could deal with the discomfort. He'd heal the rest later. While he swallowed past all that meat and watched Dean writhe he grabbed the lube they kept in the shower. Once slick he worked his fingers into his man. 

“No, no…oh god… that’s it’s too much Cas… fuck I’m dying…”

If he could have smiled he would have. Dean’s eyes were closed as he felt the intrusion of a third finger. 

“Fuck…”

Cas worked his mouth back and forth, bottoming out over and over until Dean was twitching. There were toys in the shower too; they liked to play in here. The sealed box that sat on the wall called to him and he reached over and opened it while Dean panted, oh, so close to the edge. Cas’ heart rate was through the roof, he loved seeing Dean so horny he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

His lips moved and Cas withdrew his fingers replacing them with a large plug. There was no preamble, he simply forced it in smooth and slow and watch Dean shudder. One last suck as Dean's tight ass closed over the black rubber pushed his love over the edge and into oblivion. 

“Holy God… ahhh, fuck.”

The cum was thick and salty on Cas’ tongue, he swallowed it down and stood to kiss Dean. 

“Fuck me,” Dean ordered as he walked out of the shower and into their room. 

“With pleasure.” 

Dean lay on the bed on his back and Cas crawled over him. He played with the plug and Dean’s back rose from the bed. 

“That’s the big one isn’t it?” He panted through shudders. 

Cas nodded and started to pull it out.

“Ahhh, Cas… oh shit…”

“Breathe Dean, just breathe.”

“I need you.” 

Cas smiled and the plug slid free. Dean ass gaped and Cas couldn’t resist bending between his legs and running his tongue inside the slick hole. 

“Oh … oh god…”

Dean was hard again and Cas felt a wash of need.

“I want to feel you.”

Dean looked up at him and nodded. Cas bent over and Dean moved behind him. He took a few moments to kiss him thoroughly; it was all burning passion and need. Tongues and teeth slammed together as they teased each other. 

Cas didn’t need the same prep as Dean. The pain wasn’t a problem; he simply healed as he went. Dean slid two fingers in as soon as he was lubed, he pushed and forced Cas open which tore a growl from the Angel. The feeling was nothing he could describe and within seconds Dean was forcing his cock inside. Dean liked the pain that came with the force. Even though Cas knew it would be hurting him to push in that hard and that fast, he tried to let it go. The stretch was amazing and Dean panting his name even more so. Dean raked his nails down Cas’ back and then bottomed out. 

“Dean… shit…”

His man forced himself as deep as he could go and then leaned over to kiss Cas’ neck and back. The shudders consumed him and Cas took his own cock in his hand as it begged for release.

Dean pulled out and Cas felt suddenly empty. 

“Fuck me.”

Oh, they were tag teaming it, this would be fun. 

Dean lay on his back and Cas slid inside him. The sensations were so different but both so overwhelming. His flesh was pulsing with need as his cock entered Dean’s hole. 

“Cas… oh, Cas… I love you so much…”

Cas grinned and whispered the same in return in his ear as he fucked him hard and fast. His hands gripped the taller man's hips. Dean wrapped his legs around Cas and that was it Cas was done. The wave of orgasm flooded him and he spasmed inside his lover. 

“That's it… oh god…” Dean cried as Cas unloaded himself in his tight ass. 

Dean sighed as Cas collapsed on top of him. 

“Wow…”

“Am I forgiven?” The angel panted. 

Dean rolled over and kissed him, “I suppose.” 

Cas laughed and pulled the comforter over them. 

Tomorrow they would fly to New York and the family could finally relax.


	20. Savage Garden

They were packed and at the airport by three in the afternoon. The rain had started an hour before and the pilot was doing final checks. Dean sat in the private lounge trembling and trying to hide it. The more he shook, the angrier he became. Why did this bother him so much? He tried to focus on the room, on anything really but the fear raging in his gut. The lounge was nice, spacious. It had its own fully stocked bar and buffet which Cas had tried tempting him with but had failed. The seat he felt glued into was a purple and mustard yellow blend that looked nicer than it sounded. It picked up the plum accents in the walls. Apparently, in a past life, he'd been an interior decorator. 

“Dean, it’s fine,” Cas whispered and Dean looked at him. 

“What?”

Cas frowned, “You mumbled something about being broken…”

“Did I?” he said.

Cas nodded and took his hand. A guy who walked through glanced at their joined hands and it tipped Dean over the edge. 

“Got a fucking problem?” he growled. 

Cas flinched and Mary went wide-eyed at him, “Dean honey, please breathe before you have an aneurysm.” 

Dean sucked in the air but it didn’t help. Why was he so pent up today? His heart was racing and he couldn’t seem to find his happy place. It was like his whole body was screaming at him to go home. 

“Dean, you know it’s okay. You know logically we’re more likely to die in a car on the way to the airport than in the plane.” Sam said. 

Charlie stilled and Sam flinched once the words stopped echoing around the room. “Oh my god, Charlie I’m so sorry I didn’t think…”

She smiled softly, “It’s okay Sammy I know what you’re saying.”

"Not helping Sammy but thanks." Dean chimed in through gritted teeth.

John walked in with a smile, "Okay guys we’re boarding. "

Dean’s body felt like a lead weight and he had to prise himself out of the seat. The shaking was now fully body tremors and he felt ridiculous.

The lounge was safe, why couldn’t he just stay here? The thought made him feel even more ridiculous. Cas took his hand and squeezed it hard as he finally stood. They walked agonisingly slowly out through the doors onto the tarmac. 

Dean looked at everything but the medium sized white jet. He would not throw up. The rain fell onto his leather jacket and ran down his neck; shiver's wracked his already tense form. Cas' hand was warmer than his today which was weird, Dean must be really cold. Thunder rolled around in the sky and he knew they would have to get ahead of it otherwise they’d be stuck here for hours. He couldn’t wait for hours. If he didn’t get on the jet now he wasn’t getting on it. 

His shoes were designer; Cas picked them out along with the dark wash jeans and the green t-shirt. The whole outfit screamed money. Appearances were something Dean tended to ignore but Cas liked to dress him up sometimes. He focused on the sound of the leather as it slapped against the floor and the jeans that were damp against his skin. He concentrated on the touch of the wind as it sent a chill down his neck. He listened intently to Cas’ whispered reassurances. His family crossed the obsidian expanse together and he was the last to board. 

He Just had to walk up the steps. Dean willed his feet to move but the struggle was like nothing he’d ever experienced in his life. 

“Dean?” Cas asked from the entrance to the plane.

“I can’t…” He said scowling, and as the words came out he became determined. Looking at Cas helped. Focus on Cas. The Angel’s big blue eyes were full of concern and that helped more, he would not be a coward in front of the love of his life. Move Dean, move. 

His feet finally complied and he took the first step. Climbing those eight steps was like hiking Everest. Each was harder than the next and by the end, he was drained and panting into Cas shoulder. 

“Jesus…” Sam said as Dean collapsed into one of the twelve chocolate coloured leather seats. 

“Honey, that was bad, are you okay?” Mary asked.

“Poor baby scare of the big bad plane?” B joked, “You realise you have an Angel that flies?”

Cas punched his brother across the aisle, “Stop it B, you know he doesn’t like it.”

“Ouch.” B glared, “I’m just saying it’s irrational. You have a celestial parachute that can have you on the ground in a second.” 

Dean grimaced, “It’s a control thing B, you know that.”

“You and your control issues.” Gabe added, “No wonder they’re making you the leader.”

Dean clenched his teeth, “Yeah and my first order of business will be to ward the house against you morons.”

Gabriel laughed, “Then how would you and Cas get up close and personal huh?”

Mary coughed, “Gabriel.”

The Archangel looked sheepishly at the floor. Sam laughed and Dean’s chest tightened. He loved them all so much, even his two idiot friends. 

“Dean?” Cas asked.

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.”

Dean smiled, “I love you too.”

He watched his family as they settled into the journey. B and Charlie were talking about something in Tech today magazine on her Kindle. It was nice to see her face so animated after the last week. Gabe and Sam were discussing which shows they wanted to go and see. Gabe loved the theatre, especially Harry Potter, which he and Charlie gushed over together and Kinky Boots. When Brendon Urie had been in it he’d seen it four times, Dean had teased him mercilessly for weeks. Though, Dean did agree with Gabe that the Panic at the Disco singer was hot. Sam preferred The Lion King and Wicked. They were debating the pros and cons of a musical versus a thriller but Dean knew they’d end up seeing both. His Dad and Mom were hashing out the plan for the week. It was mainly around his Dad's schedule but so far they seemed to have a pretty solid idea of what they wanted to do. They were all staying at the four seasons. Their parents had an apartment but it was only three bedrooms and they wouldn’t all fit. To save the arguing and the separation they had decided to stay in separate rooms at the hotel. That way they also had some privacy and Dean was going to need a fuck ton of it to get over this mess in his chest.

The plane started to move and Dean thought he would pass out. His stress responses went through the roof, every instinct he had was screaming but it was too late. They were on the runway and lifting off. His stomach rolled as they hit twenty thousand feet and started to level out. Looking at Cas he frowned, the Angel seemed, off. 

“Cas?” Dean asked, “Are you okay?”

“I think so… I feel, tired I guess.” 

“Me too.” Gabe cut in. 

“Me three,” B added. 

“Tired how?”

Cas frowned, “Like I just went through an epic battle… drained.”

B walked over and sat on the seat next to Gabe. Sam was in the bathroom. 

“I haven’t felt like this since the Spartans invaded.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Cas replied to his brother. 

“Do you know what’s causing it?” Sam asked from behind them. 

“No.” 

It was a collective response and Dean’s anxiety increased tenfold. 

“It’s okay Dean, breathe okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Cas’ tone was soothing but nothing was helping. He wanted off this plane, now. 

The pilot's voice chimed in over the intercom, “We’re going to hit some turbulence Winchesters, strap in.”

Dean had a panic attack, he couldn’t catch his breath. B moved back to his seat and they all did as they were told.

“Dean, I'm here. We're okay. I have you.” Cas said as he rubbed his arm. 

The plane shook, gently at first and then more and more violently. The fourth time threw them hard and Cas glanced at Gabe. 

Dean’s teeth were gritted so hard together that his face was going numb and then there was a bang. His head whipped around to look out the window and his worst nightmare had been realised. The right side engine was on fire. 

“Shit,” Dean said, it was almost comical. 

Cas started, “Er, guys…”

“Holy fuck!” said Gabe.

“Mom!” Charlie yelled.

“Settle down!” John called as he stood and headed to the cockpit. The shake of his Dad’s head as he came back wasn’t good. Why was this happening? This was a new level of insanity even for them. The plane was on fucking fire! 

“Garth can’t get it under control so we're going to evacuate okay? Boys, get the kids out and come back for us, we’ll wait in the cockpit.”

The air started to feel thick and Dean realised smoke was pouring in from somewhere. Everything was fuzzy and he started to cough. Cas took his hand and nothing happened.

“I can’t leave.” He whispered and it was echoed by a yell from Gabe.

“Guys, I can't get out,” B called.

“What do you mean?” Mary called. 

Everything was moving so fast, he stomach was churning. 

“I mean we can’t fly... something…” B stared at the wall of the plane, hard, “The plane’s fucking warded. Who warded the mother fucking plane?”

Dean swallowed hard, the facts his brain one after another. The place was on fire, the Angels couldn't leave. They were stuck on a plane that was falling out of the sky. The room span as Dean tried not to pass out. 

Gabe ran his hand over the leather that covered the wall, “Shit!” he called, "It's all the way through”.

Charlie was holding on to B like he was a lifeline and Sam was hugging their Mom.

“We need to open the door!” Cas yelled over the growing roar of metal breaking from the engine. “To break it.”

"Are you insane?" Dean screamed.

"We have to get out Dean," Cas replied and pulled him close.

“Mary, John, go to the cockpit. We’ll come back for you.” Gabe shouted, “We don’t know what this warding is doing and I already feel exhausted I don’t want to risk either of you.” 

“Get our children out of here!” Mary screamed.

John Added, “We love you all, now go!” at them as they slammed the door. 

Dean unlocked his seatbelt and gripped Cas.

“B.” Cas instructed, “You’re closest, get the door.”

“Hold on fire bean, this will be rough,” B yelled at Charlie who was coughing through the smoke. 

Thick, dark suffocating clouds rolled through the cabin and Dean felt like his lungs were on fire. 

“Hang on my love, B’s right. This will be rough.” 

Balthazar punched the door and it gave way. Ice cold air rushed in and tried to pull Dean off his feet. As soon as the door opened the Angels blinked them out. 

They slammed into the ground with the force of a meteorite. Dean rolled over a few times before he stopped in a pile of his own limbs. The world was still spinning as he tried to get his bearings. His back was flat on the ground and rain fell on his face. Something was broken, maybe everything? Cas was to his right and Dean threw his head to the side. 

“Cas… baby.” He said trying to find some air, some strength to roll towards him. The sob crawled up his throat. “Castiel!”

“Dean?” Charlie Called.

“I’m fine!” Dean lied, so not fine. ”Sammy?”

“Dean! Gabe… I think…” 

“Keep shaking him, okay, they’re Angels God damn it!” 

The words were clearer but Cas wasn’t moving. Dean heaved his body and managed to get onto all fours where he promptly threw up in the grass. Everything hurt. Everything. Travelling by Angel hadn’t felt that bad, ever. Crawling over to his love took every ounce of strength he had but eventually, he got there. Cas’ wings were spread out flat on the ground, shadows framing his pale form. It took a lot for Cas to look pale and Dean threw up again. Was his Angel dead…? Dean looked up and Charlie was shaking B. They were all down, even Gabe, who was stronger than the others. Shit, shit.

“Cas…” he whined, his voice didn’t sound like him at all, “Cas… please… please wake up.”

Dean shook his shoulder and tears started to fall. He placed his head on the blue sweater Cas had put on this morning. They’d argued about that stupid sweater. Dean said it was scratchy and he didn’t like it and Cas had said Dean brought it that's why he wanted to wear it. That stupid fight could be the last morning he'd had with the love of his life. What happened to him if Cas died? Would he go to heaven then? Would Cas go back to heaven? If he was alive Dean would ask. He would be more grateful, he would thank Chuck for Cas every single moment of every day for the rest of forever, just please... please don't let him be dead.

“Cas!” Dean screamed, “Wake up!”

Dean felt it then, the tug like he was pulling on a rope. Cas gasped and moaned sharply. 

“Dean?”

“Oh thank you God!” he cried and Cas turned blue eyes on him. 

“Gabriel!” Sam called from somewhere behind him. 

“Balthazar! Don’t ever do that again!” Charlie screamed. 

Dean threw himself at his man and held him tight then echoed Charlie, “Do not. Do that. Again!” 

“Okay, Dean.” Cas wheezed. 

“Are you okay?” 

Then there was a sound that Dean would never forget. The plane was in free fall. It all happened in slow motion. Cas tried to blink out and screamed in pain. 

“No, stop.” Dean yelled but his heart was screaming, ‘save them!’

Sammy and Charlie screamed. The ground shook as the twisted, broken wreck hit. 

Dean was floating, nothing felt real. He looked around; Charlie was throwing up in the tree line as B rubbed her back. Gabe was holding Sam back from running toward the flaming ball of metal rubble. The shock had set in and was protecting him from the truth. Cas held him as he stared wordlessly while the jet burned. 

Dean knelt on the grass in a too calm silence and watched as the white-hot flames ended life as he knew it.


	21. Waking up to ash and dust

He’d been unable to move for thirty minutes as Dean sat in the grass near comatose with shock. Shivers rolled down Cas’ spine and tears threatened to force their way out. How could they be gone? 

Lying there, he had no idea why he couldn’t move and it was terrifying. Gabe was the first to recover enough to stand. Then B and a few minutes later feeling came back to his body, well, feeling that wasn’t pain. He wanted to wrap himself around his boyfriend and never let him go. It was the worst moment of his life not being able to comfort him, any of them. Several deep breaths later he could move and rolled to Dean. Their hug was long and solid. Cas rubbed his back and whispered meaningless reassurance. It would be okay, they would get through this and Cas knew it meant nothing at that moment. Nothing would be the same again.

“Don’t scare me like that Cas…”

“I’m sorry Dean, something was attacking us…” Cas rubbed his forehead against Deans and sighed. “I’ll go and deal with this mess. You look after them okay?”

Dean nodded and Cas finished with a long but chaste kiss. Everything hurt.

They pulled apart and Dean looked over to his siblings. As Charlie concluded throwing up, B moved her over to her family. Gabe pulled Sam over and they collapsed in a pile around him. Cas and his brothers left their charges in a sobbing hug to discuss what had happened.

“How do you feel?” Gabe asked him. 

“…Human… I think” Cas replied, “Everything hurts.”

B flexed his neck, “Yeah, me too.”

“Did you feel it? As we fell?” 

Cas nodded, “The warding? Yes, how could we not?”

“It felt, wrong…” B added.

“Like it was pulling at my grace…” Gabe finished.

They all nodded together. Cas shivered, it had reassembled how a cheese grater might feel on the skin. His poor grace was in shreds, who knew how long this would take to heal. 

“I feel like I did in the other timeline.” Said B, “Weak, but it’s different. Like it's getting better, slowly.”

“Yeah, Same.” Gabe added, “Cas?”

“Slow, very slow.”

“So we’re agreed. It is temporary?” Gabe asked. 

They nodded and Cas’ insides relaxed a little. That was a ridiculous spell, someone was definitely out to get them. Agony coursed through him now that the immediate crisis had passed. The pain of losing his friends beat within his chest, sometimes he really hated feelings.

“I can’t believe they’re gone…” B started.

Cas hugged him, “I know…”

The three of them looked over at their partners and Cas felt tears roll down his cheeks. They seemed so lost, so broken. His brothers moved closer to him and as one they felt the collective pain. It was a devastating, raw agony which pulsed through Dean and Cas could feel it as if it was his own. 

“This is going to be fucking horrific.” B choked as he forced the tears back.

“Oh yeah,” Gabe replied. 

Cas nodded and wrapped his arms around his waist, this was going to be the worst. 

Gabe was on the phone a few seconds later, calling the MOL for clean up. Emergency services had arrived. They had enough Angel mojo between them to send away all except the fire response team. They dealt with the inferno in the field beyond. 

Then Cas made the most difficult call of his very long existence. 

“Cas?” 

“Bobby.” He sighed, “There’s been an accident.”

The call didn’t take long but Bobby was going to be on a plane within the hour. He was the Winchesters third. If Cas hadn’t called when he did then the MOL would have informed him and that wasn’t right. 

“Bobby on his way?” Gabe asked.

Cas nodded as he glanced at Dean. His partner walked over and threw himself into his arms. 

“I don’t know how to deal with this Cas.” He whispered. The tears had stopped and Cas could feel how numb he was. 

“You’re strong. You’re resilient and you have all of us. We’ll do this together.”

Dean pulled away and nodded, “How could this happen?”

Cas shook his head, “We’ll know more soon. The detection team are organising they should be porting in soon.” 

“Fuck… I’m in command now aren’t I?”

Cas sighed, “Only if you want it. Bobby will stay in his position and is willing to stand in until you graduate or until you make a decision.” 

Dean nodded, “Fine… I need to be there for them right now…” 

“Yes, we all do.” 

A golden swirling circle appeared across the field and five people poured out. The local branch of the MOL used short distance portals in emergencies and this absolutely qualified. 

“How are you?” Dean asked, “You scared the shit out of me earlier.”

Cas winced, “It's like my grace has been put through one of those wood chippers.”

“I can feel you I think.”

“What?”

“I can’t feel much of anything but I feel… like someone’s taken a hole punch to parts of me…”

“Shit…”

“What?”

“You have my grace… how can I keep forgetting that?” Cas hugged him again. 

“Cas?”

“Sorry… the spell or whatever it was, tore our grace up. I forgot it would affect you too. Shit.” 

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Dean frowned, “So, you can’t fly?”

Cas shook his head, “Gabe will be able to first. He’s strongest, oldest.” 

Dean almost smiled and Cas grinned, “Don’t tell him I said that.”

Neither smile filled their eyes. The loss was too raw and the shock too dense but it gave them a moment of reprieve within the madness.

“Bobby is on his way?” Dean asked.

“A few hours. He’s bringing the MOL jet.” 

Dean sighed and leaned into him. “I should go over there…” he looked towards the MOL team who were discussing things with B. 

“Yeah,” Cas replied as he took his hand.

They walked over and a short, feisty witch was bossing the team around while discussing things with B. 

“Hey, Row.” Dean interrupted, his voice sounded exhausted and laced with pain.

The tiny redhead whipped around and threw herself at the new leader of the MOL. 

“Dean, sweetheart. I am so, so sorry… this is simply…” she took a breath as a tear slid down her face, “…I loved your parent's so much poppet, I’ll miss them.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, voice breaking. 

“… and Cas.” She hugged him next, “If you need anything, let me know okay? Any of you. I’m getting a transfer to Kansas so that I can be close by.”

“Aunt Row... you don’t need to, we'll-”

“Don’t you finish that sentence wee Winchester, I will be at the house by tomorrow. You’re not the boss of me, well not yet.” She smiled.

“Uncle Bobby will be pleased,” Dean added. 

“That man has been the bane of my existence for a decade, the space has done us the world of good.” 

Dean smiled, a brief movement of lips. 

“Do you know anything?” Cas said changing the conversation. 

“Aye, a great many things.” She replied with a wink. Death didn’t hit Rowena the same as everyone else. She’d been alive for centuries and seemed to move on quickly or maybe she just dealt with it better. 

As they walked to the plane, Cas smiled at the difference in this timeline. The MOL, before, would have tried to kill her for being a witch. In this one they had several witches and other ‘monsters’ on staff, it was nice. 

They approached and Cas braced for an influx of emotions from Dean, nothing happened. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or worried. The pain in his body had been pushed away by the stress of the situation. Now he was relaxing he could feel every muscle in his vessel as if it was his first day on earth. What little power he’d recovered had gone on healing Dean, whose body had been bruised all over. His love had rejected it but Cas had done it anyway. 

They stopped at the smouldering black pile. The fire crews had been dismissed and the team were pulling charred remains from the wreck. 

Cas stomach rolled and Dean glanced at him, “You felt that?”

Dean nodded. 

Weird, would Dean’s Demigod status allow their bond to work both ways? It never had with Shel but then he’d never really discovered what he was. Cas shelved it as something to wonder about later. 

“Balthazar was explaining how it felt and which of you got the worst of it as you left the plane.” She started as they closed in on B. “From what I can tell most of the spell work has been destroyed, that was the intention. The plane was always supposed to go down to erase the evidence. I was able to pull a few symbols or parts of symbols I think. From what B has described I think Castiel was the focus. There is not much difference between the two of you in power; in fact, you have always felt stronger to me Cas.”

Cas smiled at Balthazar’s frown.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch Angel, I call it how I see it. Your aura is less than his now as if it was aimed at you? Obviously, this is speculation, but, I believe you were the target. When I get back to the bunker I can find out more but in the meantime, these are the symbols.” 

She handed the tablet to Cas, “B. Have you seen these?”

He shook his head, “No. The program has only just finished reconstructing them.”

“You should see it.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Fuck indeed.” 

“Is that?”

“Aye… that is Enochian.”

“Extra fuck,” Gabe added as he walked over and peered at the letters on the screen.

“So either one of our own is out to get us-” Cas started.

“Or someone wants us to think that-”

He nodded at Gabe. 

Shit, Angels? Or people who knew enough to mimic the spells? The list included a handful of demons… or… MOL. Cas shuddered at the idea of a betrayal and Dean's eyebrows rose again quizzically. He shook his head indicating they’d discuss it later.

“I’ll work on it.” She added, “Are you coming to the bunker?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, I think it’s best.”

“How are they?” Row asked him, nodding at his siblings. 

“Strong, broken but strong.”

Cas hugged him, “As soon as one of us can fly we’ll go and find your parent upstairs.”

Dean pulled back, surprise lit his face but Cas couldn't feel it, “Heaven? You can do that?”

“They can try and stop us but that wouldn’t be good for them,” B added.

Relief and a stab of pain hit Cas but it was distant and he knew that Dean was feeling again. 

“You okay?” he asked.

Dean nodded with his eyes full of unshed tears. The love of his life coughed and pushed them away. 

“Hey,” Charlie said as she hugged Dean and then Cas. Sammy followed, hugging them all. 

Dean filled them in on the plan and his siblings let him lead. Upon saying their temporary goodbyes, Rowena opened a portal and they stepped through it. Rest, they all needed rest. Cas yawned and Dean stared at him. 

“What was that?” he asked as the stepped into the cavernous space of the communications room. 

“I have no idea,” he replied, seriously confused.

The regional headquarters for the NY MOL was huge. Most of it was underground; however, there were large curved windows that looked out into the world. A combination of golden sandy beaches, forests and snowy mountains could be viewed depending which room you were in. They had daylight streaming in from the locations shown and Cas admired the spell work. Rowena had outdone herself. She was in the process of updating all the bunkers to the same specifications. That way the people working there had a reprieve from the confining space. No matter how large, being underground for a majority of the time was bad for your health. 

“Sir,” Jack said as he walked up to Dean. The boy's face was red as if he’d been crying.

“Hey.”

“May I?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re my, of course, you can hug me.”

The young blond teen smiled, a fleeting shadow on his lips and wrapped himself around Dean. The hug was long and he relaxed into it. Jack held a special place in Dean’s heart; the teenager was a sweet and kind soul. At fifteen he was interning with the MOL. It was what you did when your adoptive parents were high ranking in the organisation. 

“Cas,” Jack said as he moved in to hug him, gripping him tight. Cas stroked the boys back, he was trying to be strong but a sob escaped. 

“It’s okay Jacky, we’ll be okay.” 

“I miss them already.” He whispered trying to hold back the tears. 

Dean took a deep breath and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder while he rubbed his face into Cas’ sweater, “Me too buddy, me too.” 

“You’re the boss now… I didn’t know if it was okay…”

“It’s always okay. Always.” Dean reassured him. 

The others hugged him in turn and eventually, they made their way to their rooms. 

His and Dean's was a suite, it had its own full bathroom, lounge area and window to the ‘outside’. The room was decorated like a five-star hotel, all greys and blacks. The wall art, all originals by famous artists, were secured in glass boxes to prevent deterioration. Cas admired them every time he was here. 

Dean rolled onto the bed which was situated behind two dark wood sliding doors. 

“I hate today.”

Cas walked over and slid in next to him, “Yeah, me too.”

They snuggled in together and Dean rested his head on Cas’ chest. The pillows were soft and the room was warm, he relaxed and felt a tug behind his eyes. They flew open and he froze.

“Cas?” Dean whispered half asleep already.

“I think I’m tired.”

“Yeah, me too.” He yawned.

“No, human tired. I was falling asleep.”

Dean perked up and looked at him, “The spell?”

Cas nodded, “I think so. Maybe my grace needs the vessel to rest?”

“Maybe you should. It’ll be nice to actually sleep with you.”

Cas tried to relax and eventually succeeded. Dean was asleep within minutes and as he felt the pull once again he wondered, could angels dream?


	22. Drowned in water and light

Dean woke in a cold sweat and panting hard. 

“Dean, it’s okay… I’m here.”

Cas’ voice was reassuring and he turned to the love of his life and buried himself in the hug he offered. Warm arms encased him with love and the panic settled. Then he looked around, they weren’t at home… fuck. Pain rolled through him, his parents were dead. He was in charge of the MOL… fuck, fuck. 

The groan was loud but muffled by Cas’ sweater. The warm sooty fabric brought back memories he didn’t want or need and he flinched away violently. 

“You need to shower,” Dean growled out. 

Cas yawned and that brought him back to himself, “Okay Dean.”

“Did you sleep?” he asked as Cas stroked his face.

“Yes.” Cas seemed perplexed, “It was, refreshing.”

“Good. Now can we wash up please because I can’t smell this anymore. It’s driving me insane.” 

Nodding Cas moved from the bed and then sneezed. The Angel vanished and then reappeared in the doorway.

“You sneezed.”

Cas was wide-eyed as he looked at Dean lying on the bed.

“You don’t sneeze Cas.”

“I am aware.” He replied and then sneezed again. 

He vanished but didn’t reappear. Dean waited, unsure of what to do. Then a knock came on the on the door, he walked over and unlocked it. 

“Cas?” Dean watched his boyfriend as he walked into the room.

“Well, I am wet.”

“Err… yeah, why is that?”

“I blinked into the pool.”

Dean laughed, it was a sharp sound and fizzled quickly but he laughed. 

Cas grinned, “I really do not like this spell Dean.”

“It’s fading though? You can fly.”

“Yes and now I’m going to shower.”

Dean smiled, it felt... unnatural with the grief alongside it. The water started in the bathroom. Dean heard the slap of wet clothes hitting the floor and then a relaxed moan as Cas stepped into the shower. Coffee was on his list but before he went anywhere he was changing. The sweats were standard MOL burgundy and they’d do for now. As he was pulling on the pants there was a knock on the door. Dean wriggled into the clothing and walked over to the door. Cas pushed past him, soaking, soapy and naked. He couldn’t stop the laugh; it forced its way out of his chest. 

Cas turned on him and pointed, "No. This is not funny!” 

Dean snorted another laugh, and then “I love you.” 

The Angel stormed off back to the shower and Dean decided to leave the door unlocked, just in case. 

“I’m going to get coffee!” he yelled as he left the room.

The smile faded from his lips as he rounded the corner, people were giving him that look. That ‘People you love are dead and we have no idea how to treat you anymore’ look. Pain fazed back into his heart, like nothing he could describe. People milled about the kitchen and Jack ran over when he saw him. They embraced tightly and Dean felt a little better. 

“Dean!” Jack said, “Do you want bacon?”

Deans stomach rolled, “Just coffee, for now, bud okay?”

“Sure.” He said as he wondered over to the pot and poured it for him. Dean slid onto a stool and everyone seemed to be avoiding him. Anger rose and the words flew as he lost his shit. “I am grieving but I can still speak.” 

The thirty or so people in the large canteen froze. Heads turned and he made eye contact with them all. 

Balthazar walked over and hugged him, “Dean, you’re scaring the staff.”

Anger was slippery and Dean lost it to pain, “I know B but this is hard enough. I need them to be normal.”

“I'll put the word out.” The Angel said. 

Dean nodded, “Hey, are you having issues with your wings?”

B frowned, “Issues? I can’t fly yet-” his eyes went wide, “Can Cas fly?”

Dean nodded. Was it a big deal? 

“Great, I’ll never hear the end of it!”

“The end of what?” Gabe asked as he crossed the room.

“Just great!” B added, “Now everyone will know.”

“Know what? Asked Sam as he hugged Dean.

Charlie came in through the side door and hugged him as well, “Yeah what’s going on.”

“Cas has is wings back,” B replied.

They all stared at Dean and then at Gabe. Dean felt his eyes go wide, “Gabe are you still grounded?”

The Archangel shrugged, “Maybe…”

“Definitely.” Sam added, “He tried this morning and passed out for ten minutes.”

Dean chuckled, “I wonder if it has to do with the sleep?”

“Sleep?” B asked, “We don’t sleep.”

“Cas does, well, now.”

Everyone stared at him. 

“That is weird.” Said Charlie, as she wrapped herself in B’s arms. 

Dean nodded. 

“That's not-”

“Yes, it is.” Gabe cut B off. “He’s part of Dean, it’s very possible.”

“He sneezes too.” Added Dean as he sipped his coffee. 

B and Gabe stared at him again, “When he sneezes, he blinks out.” 

A smile played on their lips as they waited for Dean to continue, “One minute in the room, next minute in the pool.”

There were a full two seconds of silence before the group roared with laughter. They were in hysterics, their sides hurt, Sam was almost sick with it. Emotions were such weird things. 

“You just had to tell them didn’t you?” Cas said as he walked in on the mirth. Dean shrugged an wiped tears away, he wasn’t sure if they were happy or sad but he was glad for the fun. 

Cas was still sulking as they walked to the communications room to meet Bobby. His flight had been delayed and so was only now arriving. They embraced hard as he walked through the door and the older man took it in turns to hug them all. 

“Kids-” he started, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, this mess… I’m here if you need me.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” They replied collectively. 

“I need to speak to you all. Dean, you might wanna get some clothes on first?”

Dean grinned, "sure." Then his stomach churned and tears rose as he realised all his stuff was on the plane. 

Cas hugged him, “It’s alright, we have spares here. Your Mom made sure of it.”

“Sure, thanks Cas.” Dean looked at Bobby, “Meet you in twenty minutes? I need to shower.”

Bobby nodded, “Take your time. No rush.” Then rubbed his shoulder lightly. 

Changing took thirty minutes because once he was alone he broke down and couldn’t stop sobbing. The shower hid the noise as he pressed himself back into the cool wall and slid down onto his ass. Cas crawled in on his hands and knees, fully clothed and held him until he could catch his breath. It felt like his insides were trying to escape the pain by forcing their way up his throat. The helpless agony was more than he could bear and once he could breathe he decided enough was enough. He was done with this crying shit, he wanted the person who’d done this. He wanted vengeance. The anger was a quiet flame that burned between his ribs, he touched it, coaxed it and let it consume him. 

“Oh Dean,” Cas whispered as he felt the change.

“I need to function Cas.” He growled his annoyance at the disappointment and fear lining his boyfriend's tone. "Until this is done, I need to push away.” 

Cas nodded, “I understand but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Dean stood and kissed his man, “I know.”

He was dried and dressed within minutes. Leaving his hair wet, he strode through the bunker with renewed purpose. Cas was hot on his heels and they entered the Com’s room together. 

“Dean, Cas,” Bobby said as they entered. “You know the team.”

“Yes.” He said observing the people that weren’t family. “Hi.”

Everyone was there including Sam, no-one objected because Sam wasn’t a kid, he was a hunter. 

“So, last night the team scoured everything for a clue about who or what was behind this and we’re at a loss.” Bobby started as he rubbed his neck. 

Rowena coughed and Bobby glared at his wife then added, “Well, Row thinks she found something. I’ll let her explain.”

“Thank you, Darling.” She said standing and flicking a switch for the projector. “This symbol was found on part of the debris that fell before the plane exploded. As you can see its very clear and written in blood.” 

Their eyes went wide together, they had DNA. 

“Do you know whose it is?” Charlie asked. 

“Well, there’s the twist.” She said and Dean's heart fell.

“The DNA is gone.”

“What?” Sam asked, “How is that possible?”

“It’s not,” Rowena replied. 

“We can do that…” Said B.

Rowena glanced at him with a curious expression, “You can remove DNA strands from blood? How is that possible?”

“Magic.” Added Gabe.

“We will it. It becomes neutral, nothing that differentiates it from the rest.” Cas replied. 

“It was one of us.” B said, “An angel did this.”

The room erupted with theories and speculation. Dean sat back and fumed. The anger boiled in his gut, he was tired of people fucking with his life, with his family. Whoever this angel was, or whoever had angels working for them, the fucker was going down. 

They debated and speculated for an hour before disbanding. Dean stormed back to their room, his temper worse than ever. Fury was all he could feel, vengeance his only goal. 

Cas touched his shoulder and he shrugged him off as he paced the length of the room. 

“Dean you need to calm down.” 

“How?” he spun on him, “How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” 

There was a second of indecision before Cas touched him again and then they weren’t in the room any more. They were on a street. A very inconspicuous street, in a quiet corner of New York City as much as there was a quiet corner of New Your City. The door was red and Cas took a key from his pocket and handed it to him. 

“How?” Dean asked, breathless from the sudden change of environment. It was also a little rough, Cas wasn’t 100% yet and he’d felt it. 

“I went to get it earlier when I felt the anger.”

Dean was in awe and also furious, Cas was trying to manage him like some sort of child. It might be what he needed, and he probably should have thought of it first but he wasn’t in the right head space. Right now, he wasn’t thanking him because he was angry. So angry he could have murdered something but this was the next best thing. Turning on his heal he stormed up the stairs and slid the key into the lock. Cas followed him and they stepped into the darkness together. 

“What do you seek?” A formless voice came in the black.

“Peace,” Dean replied automatically. He'd done this a thousand time before.

“There is no light here.”

“My peace calls from the Darkness, I crawl into it happily.”

The door beyond opened and a pulsing beat roared from the slit. 

“Welcome back Mr Winchester.”

Dean couldn’t help the smile that played on his lips. The feeling of euphoria was immediate as the bass hit him. The acoustic track was hard and dark, just like the space. His anger started to drip away, dripped like blood from his fingers after a kill. The smell was an exquisite concoction of expensive liquor and leather coated sex. Cas moved in behind him and Dean was hard in a second. People danced, writhed and spoke in dark corners, under strobe lighting; it was amazing. Dean took it all in they walked down the stairs into the main room. It was full daylight outside but here, here it was always dark. Here you could lose yourself in whatever desire blackened your soul and made you throb with need. In here was a hollow in which your pain could crawl to die or thrive. This was his release.

The sound of a whip snapping against flesh caught his attention and Dean watched as a tall brunette punished his willing victim. 

“I reserved the box,” Cas whispered into his ear and Dean shuddered, his cock throbbing in his jeans. 

The Angel took his hand and pulled him to the main stage. The clear glass box was surrounded by people, the crowds were dancing and fucking with pure abandon. It was a voyeur's paradise and an exhibitionists dream. Cas nodded at the controller as they passed and they lowered the door. Inside the box was his own personal dreamscape. The walls were completely transparent, he could see the writhing masses and they could see him. A cheer went up as the DJ announced who was in the box, they were cheering for Cas. he had a reputation. The toys and hooks were suspended from the ceiling, nothing touched the glass. 

The five-foot square was rigged for play and Dean waited for Cas to begin. His Angel took some soft cuffs from the side and Dean held out his arms. He was secure in a minute and then Cas pulled him to the rig. His arms were pulled to the hook and the angle had him on his toes trying to maintain his balance. The crowd roared and Dean watched as Cas removed his shoes and shirt. He was drooling once his man stepped back into his space. Before Cas' hand moved Dean was in a full body spasm. The silver blade glinted in the strobing lights and his eyes fluttered closed. 

Cas knelt on the floor and removed Deans shoes, his socks. Dean watched with rapt attention. Cas proceeded to slowly cut Dean’s jeans away with his angel blade. The metal was cool against his skin and the air was hot as the material fell away. Next was the t-shirt which was sliced away and joined the rest on the floor. 

Dean could feel Cas’ need, how badly he wanted Dean and wanted him to be okay. It was amazing. Naked and with his arms aching he watched his man as he slid his cock free from his chino’s. The hard flesh was dripping precum and Dean licked his full lower lip in anticipation. Cas rubbed his thumb over the tip and forced his fingers into Dean's mouth. Oh god, that was good. The need was killing him, he wanted Cas to tease him and fuck him in front of these strangers. The Angel walked around to Deans back and grabbed a handful of hair and pulled, then took Deans balls and tugged. The sweet relief of physical pain flowed through him and he hung limply, the cuffs taking most of the weight. 

Two thick lubed fingers forced their way inside him but Cas was only teasing. After a few smooth pushes, his cock was forcing its way in. Pressure and friction echoed through him. Delicious pain distracted his mind, his heart and then his man was fucking him. Dean watched the strangers watch him, Cas wrapped his warm hand around Dean’s solid cock as he spilt his load. The moan of pleasure was lost inside the heavy sound of electric guitar. 

Cas fingers were coated in the hot dripping mess. The Angel raised his hand to Dean's mouth as he slammed into his tight little hole, he opened up to let them in. The salty cum slid down his throat and he shuddered. Dean was an exhibitionist and this was his drug of choice. There was no teasing the first time around, only Cas using his body. His heart was pounding as the fucking intensified. He could that throbbing cock everywhere, it was so deep. Dean was consumed by the beat of the music, the sound of people screaming their release as they watched him. He made eye contact with strangers as they fucked and panted, as they felt bliss and pain. He let himself fall into this moment and let the last of the emotions pour from him. 

Every inch of Cas was relentless as he took what he wanted. There were no safe words, no out’s unless Dean felt it. The anonymous masses called it absolute trust and while that was true Dean knew that Cas could feel him. His love would know if he wanted to stop. He didn’t though and Cas could fuck him for hours like this, he could fuck him raw, heal him and start again. Angel stamina was on another level. This was Cas’ rep, what drew people from private rooms to stare. He would slide his cock in and out of Dean until his arms were screaming pain and then numb. He would punish his hole until the pain took over the pleasure and then he would release him. The pain would start in his arms as the blood returned. Before he could recover he would be over the leather bench and the fucking would continue. Dean would cum because Cas made him, he would touch him and force him to release and then eat it, over and over until he was too exhausted to function or until he emotionally tapped out. 

Dean felt every pounding second, every hot inch and he was lost. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to The Night Room.” The bodyless voice announced.


	23. Whisky in one hand, Grenade launcher in the other

Cas was exhausted and not just in the good sex and Whisky kind of way. He chuckled, sometimes Dean was so in his head they were basically the same person. The club always made him feel a little more human. There was something which coaxed his darkness, it always seemed to mirror Dean. They were two parts of the same whole after all. Dean used the phrase ‘sleeping for a month’ and Cas felt it. For the first time, he really knew how Dean did when he was spent, he scarcely got them back to the bunker. 

They collapsed onto bed three hours after they entered The Night Room. Cas had exhausted his energy making sure Dean was healed as they fucked. The stamina was part of the reason they got to play on the main stage. He could keep going until Dean asked him to stop. Dean never asked him to stop. The longest had been five hours and Cas had called time. It was a memory he had floating around and even though he hadn’t experienced it, he could feel it as though he had. 

Dean curled up into him, dragged the comforter over their naked bodies and they passed out together. 

Hours later he was dragged out of a dreamless sleep.

“Cas.” A voice whispered in the dark of their room. “Cas, wake up!”

“Huh?” The Angel said as he rubbed his eyes. 

“Get your butt up we have to talk.” 

“B?”

“Yes, come on”

“Eh… fine.”

Cas rolled out of bed and threw his sweats on. His hand ran through his hair and he slid the bedroom doors closed behind him so he didn't disturb Dean. 

Turning on the light wasn’t necessary because the window was on. The Sahara with the moon shining huge and bright made Cas feel peaceful. His brothers were sitting on his couch and he wondered if he’d locked the door before they’d gone to bed. Probably not. 

“What?” he groaned as he folded himself into the chair pulling a blanket into his lap. 

“You need to see this.” 

B passed him a tablet and it didn’t work so he took it back and messed with it some more.

“Why are you so tired?” Gabe asked.

“I took Dean out.”

Gabe frowned then sneered, “You took him out? What dancing?”

“Not really.” Cas replied with a raised eyebrow, “We went to Scarlet House.”

“Bro, TMA.”

B passed him back the tablet and pressed play and as it loaded he added, “NR?”

Cas nodded at B's clarification of the Night Room and Gabe groaned, “Why do you two overshare so much?”

They shrugged together and B replied, “We have the same tastes.” 

“TMI! For the love of God!” he cursed.

Cas growled at him, “Shut up Gabriel or you’ll wake Dean.” 

The video kicked in and it was an airfield. There were planes and some staff fulling a jet. Cas frowned at the screen unsure of what he was looking for and then he saw him, Ash. The scruffy looking man moved towards the Winchesters Jet, he sliced his hand and started to draw. As he turned his eyes flashed a blue white and then the camera went black. 

“Shit.” 

“Yeah, one of us. He was one of us this whole time”

“How?” Cas asked, “We can sense our kind.”

“We think a masking spell maybe?”

“Yeah… that makes sense.” Cas added. 

“Guesses on who?” B threw out there knowing none of them did. 

“I don’t remember anyone hating you guys enough to put this much effort into killing the Winchesters.”

“Maybe one of us is working for someone else?” 

“And suffer Chuck's wrath?” Gabe added, “Would you?”

Cas frowned, “No but some people were happier when he was away.”

B nodded, “Yeah, it could be someone trying to piss him off.”

“What level of crazy would you have to be to do that?” 

“Oh, like 'the last stand at the Alamo' crazy.” Said, B, as he looked at Cas.

They sat in silence for several minutes while they considered the options. 

“Hey, guys… what's going on?” Dean asked as he entered the room. 

Cas explained and showed him the video. 

“So that’s this Ash guy?”

“Yeah.”

Cas felt the anger bubble through Dean. Not as all-consuming as yesterday but still enough to worry him and Dean frowned. 

“I love you, stop worrying.”

Gabe and B looked at them both.

“He didn’t say anything.” B laughed.

“I felt it.”

B and Gabe stared at him.

“So you can feel him now?” Gabe asked Dean.

Dean shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.”

The brothers exchanged a look of interest, they shrugged and moved on to the evening's plans. 

“Charlie is calling me,” B said only seconds later. On trying to blink out he gasped and grabbed his head in pain. “Yeah, I’ll walk.”

Gabe snickered, “Yeah, walking is fun.”

“Oh shut up Gabriel, you only just got yours back.”

“But I have them don’t I, brother?” 

“Fuck you.”

Cas laughed, “Dean, your phone is ringing.”

Dean was already walking for the table and answering. Two minutes later he was hanging up and dressing. 

“Charlie, she said they caught a demon and we need to go to the dungeon.”

Cas nodded and went to pull on better clothes. They walked the corridor hand in hand. Although Dean was angry, there was a happiness when he touched Cas that took the edge from the angel's worry. Dean wasn’t lost to him, the anger was stable and something in Cas’ chest unclenched. Charlie was talking to B outside the dungeon door when they arrived. 

“What do we know?” Dean asked.

“It wants to speak to Cas.”

Dean and Cas exchanged a look of confusion but he nodded. 

“Alone,” B added.

Dean’s temper shot through the roof and Cas squeezed his hand, “It’ll be fine.”

“Hell no!” His boyfriend yelled, “You’re not going in there alone!” 

“Dean it’s chained up, I can handle one demon okay?” 

Cas could almost hear him grinding his teeth together but he nodded curtly. 

The door opened without a sound and Cas entered the enclosed space. The room was small but detailed with devils traps and symbols to keep bad things in. 

The demon was inside a short brunette. Cas appreciated her beauty, she had been an attractive human before this thing invaded her. 

It looked up, eyes flashing Black, “Castiel.” It sighed, “Finally, I was getting bored of the view.”

Cas stared at it his face unmoving, “What do you want?”

“My name is Ruby.”

“I don’t care.”

It laughed, “I know but we should all try to be more pleasant, don’t you think?” 

Cas turned on his heal to walk out and it sighed, “Wait.”

He spun and raised his eyebrow, “Yes?”

“I have a message for you.”

“From?” Cas was intrigued but didn’t let it show. 

“The King.”

“Of Hell?”

It nodded, “He says, and I quote, ‘You have enemies in high places. Lucy needs to stay in his box. Stop chasing your tails and get your house in order.’”

“That’s it?” He asked.

“Yep. You can send me back now.”

Cas revved up his power and she flinched back into the chair, he was still too drained to kill it, damn. The demon knife was in the vault, crap. He started chanting and the demon relaxed. In a minute the back smoke was pouring from the woman and out of the room. He hated having demons in the bunker, it always felt like it was asking for trouble. Cas walked into the trap to feel for a pulse. No, dead, fucking demons. 

They gathered in the canteen once Cas had sent word to the others. Sam threw some food and drinks on to the table and they discussed the demon message. 

“That all?”

Cas nodded.

“We need to go up don’t we?” Gabe asked Cas. 

Charlie, Sam, B, Dean and Bobby all sat around a large table watching the interaction.

“Yeah. Something is going on. Maybe it's linked to the crash?” Gabe added.

"Anything is possible." Bobby chimed in.

“I can’t go.” B cursed.

Cas tried not to smile, he really did but he couldn’t help it.

“Shut up Castiel.”

“What?” he shrugged, “I didn’t say anything.”

B scowled.

“Now?” Gabe asked B.

Cas nodded and turned to Dean, “I need to go up anyway.”

“Say hi for me?” Dean said as he fought tears, Cas felt him stoke the anger and he swallowed hard to keep his composure. Charlie did the same and Sam cried silent tears which had Gabe leaning into his neck. 

“For all of us,” B added.

Squeezing the hand of his love, Cas added, “I will.”

Gabe kissed Sammy and they stood. 

Cas nodded at his brother, “See you in the white room.”

The blink was easier. This whole sleep thing was definitely helping and he’d miss it once it was gone. They landed in the white space, the blinding light went on forever in every direction. Gabe stood next to Cas and a figure appeared. 

“Castiel.” The redheaded woman smiled. 

“Anna.” Cas grinned, “How are you?”

“Well. Gabriel.”

Gabe, never one for small talk added, “Anna.”

“How can I help you?” she addressed Cas.

No-one really liked Gabriel which made Cas sad. While the Angel could be a colossal dick, he had a heart of gold, well in this timeline. So confusing… Cas shook his head. 

“We need to see the Winchesters.”

She frowned, “That not-”

“We’re not asking.” Gabe interrupted.

She scowled at him, “It’s not possible because they’re not here Gabriel.”

Cas stilled, “what?”

Anna looked at him, “They were intercepted, they’re in Hell Cas. I tried to send you a message via the celestial channel but there has been some sort of interference.” 

“We’ve been healing damage,” Cas whispered, his heart was pounding. 

Gabe was fuming, Cas could see his brother clenching his jaw.

“I’m so sorry Castiel, we tried but they were waiting. It was like the demons knew what was going to happen.”

“It’s okay Anna-”

“It is NOT okay Cas!” Gabe yelled.

“It’s not her fault Gabriel!” 

“It’s their job!” 

“You heard her, the demons were waiting. All this has to be connected. Ruby, Hell, the crash. Everything.”

Gabe growled, “Fine. So we go to Hell!”

“Yes. We have too.” Cas frowned, “We can’t leave them there.”

Gabe was wearing a hole in the light with his pacing, “I’ll meet you at the Cavalry Gate.” he said, then vanished.

Anna rolled her eyes, “Always a pleasure brother, see you soon Cas. I hope to see the Winchesters soon too.”

Me too he thought as he nodded and went to find Gabe. 

It was dark in the cemetery when he landed, Gabe was drawing Enochian runes on the door to hell. They were using it as a channel to open a portal to their destination. They didn’t go to Hell often and it could be dangerous. Angels were like a lighthouse in a storm down there and they needed to be in and out with minimal exposure.  
Someone coughed from behind them and they rounded on the spot together, blades out.

“Woah there boys, no need for hostility.”

“Crowley?” They both said together. 

The man smoothed his extravagant suit and smiled, “Well, I am now.” His eyes turned Red and they flinched. 

Cas was livid, that was his friend, “Get out of him, demon.”

“Wouldn’t help I’m afraid. He had a massive heart attack this morning, the soul moved on. So, I think I’ll keep it.” 

The pain he’d been pushing away rose and flooded him as he glanced at Gabe. The look on his face was exactly what Cas was thinking, what the hell was going on?

“Fine,” Cas said, his voice not strong enough for anything else yet. Crowley had been a nice kind man, he would be missed. 

“I have something of yours.” The demon started.

“Who-” Gabe spat at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have introduced myself. Crowley, king of hell, not at your service.”

Cas felt his eyes go wide, “King?”

“You sent the message?” Gabe added.

The demon looked fake bashful and smiled, “I did and now you’re here.”

Cas' hand gripped his blade ready for a fight.

“You won't need those. I simply needed to get your attention.”

“Why?” Gabe asked.

Crowley sighed, “You are so oblivious. Someone in heaven, someone powerful, wants to kick Lucifer out top side. I like being top dog and would rather Pandora kept her box nailed shut.”

“So you don’t want Lucifer out?”

“I just said that.”

Gabe smirked, “Cas means why? You’re the king of hell, shouldn’t that be a thing you want?”

“Lucifer hates everyone, including us. I’d rather keep all my parts and my title, thanks.”

“Fine. You have the Winchesters?”

Crowley smiled, “Yes.”

“Release them now.” 

Crowley rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, “Done.” 

Cas concentrated really hard, it hurt to call Anna. He hadn’t thought to try and speak to Heaven before, not with his powers glitching. It was an effort, she confirmed they were there and Cas nodded to Gabe. 

“Say we believe you. Why would an angel want to release Lucifer?”

“Yeah, sounds more like a demon thing to me,” Gabe added. 

“Think, idiots.” Crowley snapped, “The apocalypse? The one that was supposed to happen? Who benefits?”

Cas considered it, “I have no idea.”

Gabe looked at the demon and added, “Archangels maybe?”

Cas stared at him, “Why?”

He shrugged, “Micheal was supposed to fight Lucy, maybe he is bored and wants a reckoning? Or Raph… honestly either but I don’t think they’d risk angering Dad.”

“Family, they can be such a bothersome lot.” Crowley chimed in.

Cas scowled, “If you cannot be of any further assistance I suggest you leave.”

Laughing the demon scowled, “My work here is done. Pleasure.” With a click, he was gone. 

“Demons,” Gabe said with a fake gagging expression that he'd picked up from Sam. 

Cas laughed, “We should go and check on the Winchesters.”

Gabe nodded and disappeared, Cas followed. 

They arrived back in the waiting room and Anna appeared. 

“Follow me.” She instructed and they followed.

The room they entered was kind of an angelic boardroom. Mary and John were sitting at the glass table in black office chairs looking devastated. They had both been crying, they must have only now realised they were dead. That had to be a shock. 

“Cas, Gabe!” Mary yelled as they walked through the open door.

“Mary!” Cas replied as he hugged her tightly and Gabe embraced John. They swapped Winchesters and then sat around the table. 

“We’re dead?” Mary asked as soon as they were settled, “How? How are the kids, oh.. John, the kids…”

Cas took her hand, “They’re okay, they have each other.”

John looked over at him, “They have you.” Then turned to Gabe, “All of you.”

“Cas, tell Dean the MOL isn’t his responsibility okay?” she rushed and Cas knew it was because she didn’t know how much time she had. 

“She's right, I know he’s been prepped for it. It’s tradition but he has a life and if he doesn’t want it Bobby will take over and we will train one of the cadets. Provisions were made.”

Cas frowned, “Who?”

Mary smiled, “Rowena and Bobby’s boy, Jack. They’ve been prepping him since he was two, just in case Dean didn’t want it. So let him know that.”

Cas felt a wave of relief, the pressure was off. Dean would, more than likely still chose to lead the MOL but at least he had a choice. 

“God, I miss them already,” John whispered.

“They miss you too.” Cas smiled, “Dean may be able to visit once he gets the hand of his powers. It’s frowned upon but you’re special cases.”

Mary grinned, “Oh good.” She let out a deep sigh, “Now, do you know who killed us?”

Gabe started, “We have an idea it’s an angel but the motive is, sketchy.” 

“How?” John asked.

Cas thought aloud, “Well, even if one of our brothers wanted to start the apocalypse and let Lucifer out. Why? Starting the Apocolypse is the only reason that links all this together. The demon King believes someone is attempting to get Lucifer out but the angels have a good life, father is back. Causing mayhem for the sake of it wouldn’t change anything. It doesn't make any sense. Messing with Gabe's construct, trying to keep Dean and me apart... ”

“So why do you think we were killed? Do you think they wanted to kill the boys or just us?”

“My theory is, that whoever wants Lucifer out wants chaos. If the MOL is unstable then they’re not as organised to stop whatever happens. With Dean missing, with the timeline broken it would have been easier. With you dead or all the kids gone, there is essentially no leadership to anyone looking in from the outside right?”

Mary nodded and John frowned, “So it was pure luck that you got the kids out?”

“I think so.” We’re still analysing the spell but it was trying to drain us. If we’d stayed much longer…”

“We would have been too weak to fly even after the door opened.” Gabe finished for him. 

"So, you really think someone just wants to keep us from poking around too much?"

Gabe and Cas nodded, "It seems to be the best theory at the moment."

“How are you all now?” John asked.

“Yeah, where is B?” Mary added.

Gabe snickered and the Winchesters turned to him, “He’s the last to get his wings back.” 

“Poor B,” Mary said fighting a smile. 

They all chuckled at Balthazar's expense, he hated losing at anything. 

“We need to speak to our brothers, we will have to go,” Cas said with a frown. He did not want to go without them but this was the order of things. Chuck hadn’t intervened, there had been no feelings from his father for a while and he didn't know if that was good or bad.

“Okay, boys. Mary hugged them, “We’ll see you soon okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh and Cas?” John added, “Tell Dean the lawyers know what to do, tell him not to worry.”

Cas nodded, “I will.”

They blinked out and went to find Micheal and Raphael.


	24. Sibling Rivalry

Cas had been gone for hours, if Dean hadn’t been able to feel him he would be freaking out. Though, it was muted as if there was a dampener. Maybe Heaven acted like a barrier? They’d been chilling in his room for a while now and five beers later he wasn’t feeling better, only drunker. Sam turned to him on the sofa.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean replied as he watched Will Smith and Martin Lawrence blow some shit up. 

“What’s the Night Room?”

Dean spat his beer out over the couch, then coughed and choked until his lungs cleared, “Nothing Sammy.”

“It’s a sex club isn’t it?” he whispered.

Dean’s eyes were like Frisbee's, “We are so not having this conversation.”

“What kind of sex club?”

“SAM!”

“OMG!” yelled Sam, “You’re into the weird stuff! I knew it. I’m telling Jack.”

“SAM!” Dean growled, “He’s a child!”

Sam laughed, “Is not. We’re hunters, you’re a dick!”

Dean had no idea what was happening but he wanted a time machine, like right now. They descended into silence for a few seconds and Dean almost relaxed.

“What kind of weird sex? Are there whips? Chains?” he paused as he stared at Dean looking for a tell. Deans heart started to race, he had no idea how to stop this without punching his brother. 

“SAM!”

“Or is it the kind where he hurts you… or there's that one where people watch… what's that again?”

“Exhibitionism,” Dean said casually and froze. 

“Oh my god!” Sam screamed, “Dean, do you let people watch? Holy shit!”

“Fuck.” He cursed as he blushed. 

“You kinky-”

“Do not finish that sentence Sam, I swear to god.”

“Hey, guys.” Charlie interrupted.

“Oh thank God.” He whispered, “Save me?”

Charlie glanced at Sam who was still laughing hysterically, “What's with the Sasquatch?” 

“I… I can’t…”

“Dean lets people watch him and Cas fu-”

“SAM!”

The laughing recommenced and Charlie stared at Dean. 

Dean winced, “Make him stop before I kill him please?”

“How?” She asked, “What is he-”

“He asked about the Night Room.”

“And you told him about the box? Why would you do that?”

“What box?” Sam stilled as he perked up to listen in.

“Charlie!” Dean spat, “What the hell?”

“What?” She yelled, “How was I supposed to know?”

“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Dean whispered. 

“Oi!” Charlie punched his shoulder.

“What box?”

“No box!” Dean cursed.

“Which box?” B asked as he walked in.

“NO!” Dean yelled at the Angel and pointed his finger towards the door, “Get out! You cannot be here.”

“Dean was telling Sam about the box at the Night Room.”

“NO!”

“Oh, that seems… inappropriate but okay.”

“I WASN’T-”

“So there’s this clear glass box-”

“B STOP!” Dean yelled. Sam was on the edge of his seat.

“Do you want to tell him?”

“NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!”

“Cool.” He said and continued. “So, the box is on this stage in the room and you can have, er, sex in it, it’s all BDSM kitted out and people watch you.”

“BALTHAZAR!” Dean screamed and threw a pillow at him, glaring daggers at the angel. Then he froze and did his best to avoid his brother's wide-eyed gaze and open mouth. Sam turned to stare at him comically slowly. Charlie was having trouble breathing as she was laughing so hard. B sipped his beer and grinned like a Cheshire cat, he hated them all.

Sam's head whipped back to B, “…and Dean… in the box?”

B nodded as he grabbed a chip from the bag. 

"OMG!" yelled Sam, "DEAN!"

“I’m leaving,” Dean growled. 

“Wait!” Sam called “I want to know more!”

Dean facepalmed as he left the room, “I hate you all!”

The sound of laughter chased him as he near ran from the embarrassment of his family. He entered the library and sat in one of the hard chairs. Dropping his head into his head with his elbows that were propped on the table he sighed. Fuck. How had that happened? Jesus, Cas was going to murder B, it might just be worth it to see that. His heart rate came back to something around normal but he didn't hear the footsteps. Bad hunter, no cookie.

“Hi Dean” 

He flinched and looked up slowly, “Hey Jacky.”

“Are you okay?”

“Er, yeah.”

“Can I sit?”

“Sure.”

Dean looked at the young man and tried to see past the youthful facade. Sam had been right about one thing he wasn’t a kid any more. He’d gained height over summer and filled out, little Jack was growing up.

“The window view is nice in here huh?”

Dean turned to his right, “Yeah.” 

The snow was falling over the Tibetan mountains, it was stunning.

“I like it in here. It’s quiet; nobody really comes in here anymore.”

“Huh, I like it too.” 

The kid grinned and Dean couldn’t help but return it. 

“What's going on with you Jacky? You doing okay with your studies? Seeing anyone? I feel like we haven’t spoken in ages.”

Jack smiled, “It has been a while but you’ve been at school… so.”

“That’s no excuse.” Dean sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Dean.” Jack reassured him, “And yeah, studies are going great. Mom and Dad are, well you know them. I met someone, I think he likes me.”

“He?” Dean asked, curious.

Jack blushed, “Yeah, Jesse…”

“The Turners kid?” Dean asked.

Jack nodded.

“That's great Jack. He's a great ki- guy... I like him.” He smiled, “Really.”

Jack's smile grew with Deans approval and it made the hunter feel regretful. Jack was his godson, he should be more present, more involved in his life. Dean resolved he would and when all this was over, he would be better. Right now though he felt exhausted and on edge.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk, Jack… catch up with you later?”

“Sure.”

Rubbing the kid's hair he wandered up and out of the bunker. The weather was overcast and dark but he needed to let off this pent-up energy. Walking was good, the air was cool and helped clear his mind. Thoughts of Cas drifted in and out, where was he? Were his folks okay? How had Sam found out about the Night Room? 

A clang sounded from behind him, he turned too slowly, dull pain and then darkness took him. 

The next thing he heard was Cas yelling. It woke him, fast. As he rolled over, the archangel was dragging his Dad across the floor like a piece of meat. Michael's eyes were unseeing; they weren’t focused on Cas or anything really. It took a long minute for the room to stop spinning and come into focus. The walls were white, pure white with no windows. Everything seemed to blend together. His head was pounding... 

“Cas! Dad!” Dean groaned, his head throbbed at the sound if his own voice.

“Dean!” Cas ran to him and hugged him tightly.

“Where are we Cas?”

“Heaven.” 

“What is happening?” 

Cas looked at Michael, "He won't answer me, I don't know."

Dean followed Cas' line of sight as the Archangel pulled out a wicked looking blade. He sliced John and a blue light flickered under his skin. That looked bad, he would have yelled but it was taking all his effort to stay conscious.

“Michael!” Cas shouted, “What are you doing?” 

“He can’t really speak right now.” A thin young man with dark hair walked from behind a white wall. And don't try to leave Castiel, though you’ve probably already realised you can’t. The warding prevents it, no angel powers unless I allow it.” 

“Who are you?” Dean asked as he attempted to stand. It took all his effort but he wanted to be on his feet

“I’m your brother.”

The room spun, “Sam’s my brother.”

“I’m your other brother.”

Dean stared at the man then at his Dad who looked ashamed. There were no denials, no objections.

“Dad? You wanna explain this shit?” he whispered not wanting to hear the answer.

John's quiet tears slid down his face as he sat on his knees, head bowed to his chest. 

“I have this one, Dad,” The guy spat as he paced, “I’m Adam and I’m the one who has been tearing the pieces of your life apart.” 

The room narrowed to the young guy in front of him. This guy? This was the mastermind behind the terror and destruction being inflicted on his family?

“No way.” Dean spat.

Adam scowled, “Yes. Way. Dean.”

“What? How… Why… What?”

Adam sighed, “You’re going to make me monologue aren’t you?” he said as he sat on a chair Dean hadn’t noticed. “Fine.”

“I don’t-”

“He slept with my mom nineteen years ago then after a few years of the cheating and the lies he left us.”

“He wouldn't-” Dean felt his heart shatter as his father looked up at him with devastated eyes. This couldn't be happening.

“He did. He came back to you.” Adam interrupted Dean’s denial. “My mom… she hated him and decided to find someone to help her get revenge and she did, a witch. The witch gave her a spell. What Mom didn’t know is that this spell summoned a demon.”

Dean froze, this wasn’t going to end well.

“Yeah, you already know where this is going huh?” he growled, “Well Mom made a deal. She wanted John to suffer.”

Cas’ heart was racing Dean could feel the pulse in his hand as Cas gripped him. 

“…but he didn’t suffer,” Dean replied with a smirk.

Adam grinned, “He has a heart condition. Did you know that?”

Dean's eyes went wide as he looked at his father.

“No? Well, he does. The damnedest thing is they can’t figure out why he gets excruciating pains almost at random.” He laughed, ”When I feel pain, he feels pain, three fold.” Adam shrugged, “Appropriate? I think so.”

Cas and Dean shared a glance of incredulity between them, this shit was insane.

“Anyway, ten years later they came calling but instead of taking her they ask her if she wants to make another deal. All Mom had to do was let the demon draw a symbol on my back, nothing big, nothing that would hurt past a few seconds. No big deal.” He closed his eyes and flinched, “It was like being branded, I can still feel it... I was thirteen.”

Adam’s eyes lost focused as he rubbed the small of his back as if reliving the pain. Pain twisted his features for a second, those grey eyes filling with quiet terror; then it was gone.

Cas frowned and Dean felt sympathy for the boy’s suffering. No child should have to hurt that way but he felt nothing for the man who had chosen to destroy his family. Anger started to rise, it superseded the panic and confusion in his chest.

Standing, Adam continued, ”So nothing happened and we thought we were fine, safe. Then I started to hear the voice, just one voice, whispering in my mind. Something dark, evil... awful that was telling me stories. Mom thought they were my imagination, nightmares-”

“Lucifer…” Cas whispered.

Dean stared at his love.

Adam smiled, “…and the winner is.” He laughed. “He told me that the timeline was broken, that someone had messed with it and that John was supposed to stay with us. My mom realised that she had made a literal deal with the devil and overdosed on her depression meds. I was alone with voices in my head.”

The young man sat crossed legged in the chair looking every one of his nineteen years.

“My first psych ward was the worse experience of my life. I was alone and scared, crazy... after that, I realised it would never end so I slit my wrists.” Adam added.

They stood frozen to the spot as Michael held John against his blade. A blue light was leaking out and his dad seemed to be fading around the edges.

Adam noticed, “Ah yes… the Soul Blade. Awesome right? It can cut the bonds that make up souls. He’s in an awful lotta pain right now, like on a subatomic level.” Shrugging he went back to his monologue, “When I died I saw him, Lucifer. He told me he could get me out of that place. That all I had to do was put things right. I could have my revenge on the person who abandoned me and my Mom. He showed me your perfect lives. He gave me the spell to trap Michael, told me to fuck with you however I wanted. Ash and Meg were my favourites by the way."

Dean felt murderous, he stepped toward Adam who lifter his finger in a wagging motion.

"Ah ah... no no Dean... or Daddy goes bye bye."

"Fuck you." He growled and let Cas pull him back.

"No thanks, you're not my type, bro." Adam smirked, "Using Mikey boy, that was Lucifer's revenge on his brother. Michael would be my puppet and I could take your lives apart until Lucifer could get out. I got to take Johns life apart. I should have had your life! I should have been chosen! I started with you and Cas, my perfect big brother whom Daddy adored, his protege.”

“Wait… so Gabriel separated us and you just what? Kept us apart?” Dean asked, realising that Gabe wasn’t here.

“Well, I feel kinda bad.” He laughed and the expression said he didn't feel bad at all, “Gabriel was goaded into it. Lucifer's faithful are everywhere you see, even here. Ask him if you ever get the chance. Ask him who told him that Michael didn’t want him in the garden because sure as shit it wasn’t big bro. Lucifer wants the apocalypse. He wants to kick Mike’s ass himself for helping daddy dearest stick him in the cage. If Dean was alone, without you it would have been easier to get to Sam, for Mike to take Dean. Then the timeline changed, God came home... fucked shit up...” 

“Where is Gabriel?” Cas asked.

“Indisposed.” Adam grinned.

Dean flinched as the blade sliced deeper and his dad screamed silently. Anger bubbled under his skin as he watched the pain wrack John’s frail form. Later Dean would be mad at him for his betrayals but right now, he needed to get them out of this mess. How? How the hell was he supposed to stop this? Cas was powerless, no one knew where they were… fuck. His heart pounded in his chest, there was no way to fix it…

Adam stood and walked over to Michael, “I remembered the before, the other timeline and had to adapt the plan. It was complicated but you’re vulnerable when you’re emotional. Though ending the parental's was fun and that plane crash was spectacular.”  
He huffed like a child, "The demon king took them but thank you for bringing them right too me, it was so helpful. Me and Dad are going to have a nice long, painful, chat now.” He grinned, “So, the climax? The ending to this wonderful tale? Dean, you are going to say yes to Michael or I will add Mom to my slice and dice list and then your boyfriend. Lucifer's faithful will be picking up Sam as we speak for his part. Then they can battle or whatever and chaos can reign.”

Dean’s mind was spinning; something came to him, “Wait. Lucifer said Dad was supposed to stay with you. The timeline changed and he didn’t. He lied!”

Adam shrugged, “It doesn’t matter now, I get my revenge and I don’t care what happens to this shitty planet.”

“Where’s God? He went silent…” Cas asked, “I figure you had something to do with that?”

Giggling, Adam looked at him, “That was a stroke of genius if I do say so myself. Let say he’s visiting his sister, it won't hold him forever but by the time he gets out it will be too late.”

Cas’ stomach dropped, “How?”

“Some spell. Lucifer has been working on that one for a while.”

Adam closed his eyes and nodded as if listening to voices in his mind, “It won't be long now. You should sit. This evil supervillain shit is fun.”

Dean felt helpless, he didn’t do helpless. Sammy, his Dad… fuck everyone was in danger. Anger turned to rage in his gut, no, this wasn’t fair. This was his family! Adam was sitting and watching them, waiting. For what? He had no idea. Cas trembled and Dean wrapped his arms around his Angel, neither of them did well with helpless. 

“Awwww so cute.” He commented at their expression of affection but his eyes were all malice. “Michael.”

The Archangel dug the blade in deeper and this time the sound was on. 

John screamed and screamed… and screamed. The noise was like nothing Dean had ever heard, he scowled and flinched. It tore at his soul; it broke parts of him he didn’t know he had. Cas was cracking inside, Dean could feel it. He let it stoke the rage, he felt consumed by it. It was as if nothing existed but his need to make it stop. Nothing mattered but making the noises stop, to save his father's soul. To save Cas from watching this nightmare and to rescue Sam from his impending kidnap. His body felt like it was on fire, his skin felt raw and electrified. He fell to his knees, his hand still in Cas'.

“Dean?” Cas asked, “Are you okay?”

He couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe past the rage. His heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest and as he turned to look at Cas everything went quiet.

“No.”


	25. Just another superhero

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Sammy?” Dean replied his pallor almost green.

“What’s the Night Room?”

“Dean?” Cas asked.

“Cas!” Sam yelled, “You’re back!”

Bad boys played on the flat screen and Cas leaned onto the back of the couch. Eventually, the room stopped spinning.

“Cas…” Dean was over the furniture and wrapping himself around his boyfriend in a second. The embrace was long and the following kiss was tender but thorough. Cas sighed as Dean's lips caressed his, there was almost nothing better than kissing this man.

“Ewwwwww! I did not need to see that!” Sam groaned and a pillow hit Cas’ head, he ignored it and Sam both.

Dean pulled back and Cas gazed into his beautiful green eyes, “What happened?”

Sam stared at them like they’d gone crazy, maybe they had?

“I… I don’t know. Was it a dream?” He asked, “I feel really weir-”

Dean doubled over hissing curse words and grabbed his head like it was going to explode. Cas felt the pain and flinched but in a second it was over and he was upright, looking at Cas in peaceful wonder.

“I turned the clock back…”

“You brought us back in time?” Cas asked.

Nodding his head Dean closed his eyes and groaned, “I literally turned back time... which is nuts. Seems like the anger unlocked Demi-God powers… there’s a whole damn manual in here… shit”

“Time travel? Seriously!” Sammy yelled like someone half his age, “Dean! You’re a superhero!”

The older brother smiled at the enthusiasm, “We have problems Sammy, get the team together. We have shit to sort out, major shit.”

Sam immediately turned into the hunter he was trained to be and ran for the door.

“Cas!” Gabe called as he appeared, “I was in Heaven and then you were gone? I thought we were going to see big bro?”

Cas shuddered, “Change of plan, come on.”

They all arrived in the meeting room together. Bobby, Rowena, Jack and the assessment team joined them. Dean explained what was happening up in Heaven.

“I’ll be having words with your father the next time I see him, bloody ejit.” Bobby said breaking the stunned silence, “Yeah, strong words.”

“We don’t have much time, we need a plan,” said Dean.

Cas frowned, “Adam has a spell, he’s controlling Michael and there is a plan to take Sammy so we need to lock this place down.” 

“Someone needs to make sure Lucifer stays secured in his Cage and we’ll deal with Adam,” Dean replied.

“Do you know what spell he’s using?” Row asked

Cas shook his head, “No, can you detect it if I get you upstairs?”

“I’ll take her.” Gabe replied, “You have other stuff.”

They exchanged a look and Cas smiled, “Sure.”

Row placed her hand on Gabe and they vanished.

“Jesse can help with Lucifer,” Jack interjected and every set of eyes peered at him.

“What? how?” Dean asked.

Jack tilted his head, “He’s half demon, and the extra power couldn’t hurt?”

Both Cas and Dean, and well everyone had forgotten that. Jesse was a sweet kid; it was always hard to imagine him doing anything demony.

Row and Gabe reappeared. “It’s an ancient Mesopotamian/ Celtic hybrid control spell, I need a few things but I should be able to break it. Give me twenty minutes?”

Dean nodded, “Also, Row I need a demon summoning spell.”

“Who? What for?”

Dean swallowed hard, “The king of Hell.”

Cas froze, “What?”

“Can you trust anyone up there?” Dean asked him.

“Yes, why?”

“I need them to get my parents out until this blows over.”

Cas nodded and focused and asked Anna to bring the Winchesters to earth. She fought him but eventually conceded.

“Anna.” Cas welcomed her as she landed. In her hand was a solid gold box and she passed it to him.

“I do not know what’s happening Castiel, this is very unorthodox.”

“Father is indisposed, we're having to improvise,” Cas replied.

The room was buzzing with activity as everyone found things they needed to do. Dean was with Rowena chanting in a corner.

“Anna, Heaven isn’t safe at the moment. Michael is-”

“Erratic and unstable-”

“Possessed,” Cas added.

Her eyes went wide, “What?”

“Long story, we’re trying to help but I need you to stay here out of harm's way.”

“Cas, can you come here?” Dean asked him and the Angels walked over together.

There was a devils trap drawn expertly in the floor and Cas waited for Rowena to complete the spell.

"I will assist elsewhere?" Anna added and Cas nodded. She walked over to Bobby and he directed her to a group applying extra warding to the bunker perimeter,

“Dean Winchester.” The British accent carried across the room, everyone stared at the Demon King.

“Crowley?” Dean replied incredulously, “You’re the-”

“No, he’s dead. It’s just the meat suit.”

Cas felt Dean’s anger and this time it didn’t bubble as it had in Heaven but became razor sharp. The Demon King looked smug until Dean’s eyes glowed green and a five-inch slash appeared across his expensive suit. It drew blood and everyone glanced uncomfortably in their direction.

“Ah! What in the name of-” Crowley was wide-eyed, angry but curious as he pressed his hand onto the wound.

“Dean Winchester, Demi-God. Now we are both clear who is in control, I need a favour.”

“I don’t just hand out favours Winchester, I make deals.”

Dean growled and the slice in Crowley's chest opened a further three inches. It was bleeding excessively. The demon couldn't seem to heal it. Cas stared at the love of his life and took his hand.

“Dean?” he asked and glowing green eyes turned on him.

“I’m good Cas. I feel... it's like I just know how to control it.”

Cas turned to the demon, “You don't want Lucifer out any more than we do, right?”

“It’s true?” Crowley raised his eyebrow, “He really is on his way out?”

Cas nodded and Dean stood down.

“Fine, what do you need?” he asked and the wound healed spontaneously.

Dean took the gold box from Cas and passed it over.

Crowley’s eyes went wide, “Souls?”

“Keep them safe, somewhere very safe and I will come for them, do not let them out of your sight demon or I will come for you.”

Cas had no idea where this terrifying powerful Dean had appeared from but hell if it wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever seen. His dick grew hard in his jeans… shit.

Dean turned and grinned, “Maybe later.”

Cas nodded slightly unnerved but still horny and they turned back to the demon.

“Take them, hide them.” Dean rubbed the line away on the Devils' trap.

“Done,” Crowley replied as he vanished.

“I really hope that was a good idea,” Dean whispered.

“Me to…” Cas replied.

Rowena had disappeared once the spell had started. She was across the far side of the room analysing the spell Adam was using and creating the counterspell.  
Seconds later a tall athletic man stood in front of him.  
“Dean, Cas, you remember Jesse?” Jack introduced him nervously.

“Sir.” The young dark haired man greeted him. He was wearing their all-black soldier fatigues.

“Special Ops?” Dean asked curiously and the young man nodded.

“I have special skills.” He said with a smile, his eyes turning solid silver.

“Interesting, not black?”

“No sir, something about the mixed blood.”

“Right, once we have the spell I will need you to be with the Lucifer team. It will be a multi-point attack.”

 

“Dean?” Sam called, “They’re using the Wyoming gate. There is some major activity.”

“Cas, Can you transport the team?”

Nodding Cas flexed his wings and as they opened.

Dean stared, “Wow Cas, they’re amazing.”

He blushed and nodded, “Yes, I think whatever you did... I feel better.” Cas could feel Deans wonder as if it was his own emotion, it was really nice.

“Get them in position and come back here. We’ll go deal with Heaven.”

“We’ll be ready in five,” Jesse said and Jack kissed him on the cheek. The young man blushed and apologised for the lack of professionalism but didn’t seem to mean it. There was a stubbornness about Jesse. It said if Dean attempted to punish them he’d choose Jack and his public display of affection over his boss, which Dean was.

Dean laughed and smiled, “You love him huh?”

Jesse blushed again and nodded curtly.

“Never apologise for loving someone or showing them, especially my godson.”

The young man nodded and turned, “…oh Jesse.”

He turned and looked over his shoulder, “Sir?”

“If you hurt him, I will disassemble you.”

Jesse and Jack's eyes went wide at the calm statement; the look on Dean's face was absolute, unwavering.

"Dean-" Jack whispered incredulously. Like the rest of them, he didn't know what to do with this new version of someone he'd known his whole life.

Jesse cut him off before Jack scolded a superior, "No, he's within his rights. I understand sir."

A flicker of a smile caressed Dean's lips and vanished as if it had never existed, he nodded curtly and the boys left.

Cas stared at Dean trying to hide how much that sentence scared him but obviously, he could feel it. Dean took his hand and leaned in for a kiss.

“You meant that…”

He nodded, “Nobody hurts my family.”

There was some concern but also surety coursing though Cas’ chest. Dean was still Dean just slightly more ruthless, was it a good thing?

Time was moving quickly. Anna had decided to join the Lucifer team, helping while staying away from Heaven. Cas wanted her out of the line of fire, she was a friend as well as family.

Five minutes later they were in the communications room and Cas powered up. He blinked them into the field next to the Devils gate. Anna brought the extra equipment and then she hugged him.

Cas grew wide-eyed, “We don’t-”

“We should. I miss you brother.”

Smiling he held her tight, “You can always visit,”

“I will.” Stepping back she added, “Go, fix this mess. I’m sorry I didn’t notice… I just didn’t think-”

“No one did, even father. You’re not to blame.”

She agreed and Cas blinked back to the bunker.

“Demons on the perimeter.” Cas heard as he stepped towards Dean.

“We wouldn’t have seen them if we hadn’t activated the barrier.” A small woman with salt and pepper hair said to him.

“It will keep them out?” Dean asked as Cas took his hand.

She nodded, “Yes.”

“Good”

Dean turned to him and smiled, “Row will be longer than she thought. By comparing this one to the other timeline I think we have twenty minutes to catch up to where we were. Come with me?”

Cas nodded, “I feel like I’m that woman in Robocop.”

“Terminator, Cas.” Dean laughed and corrected him as they walked back to their room. Peace enveloped them as they closed the door to their sanctuary.

Dean was on him in a second, his large strong hands cupped Cas chin. He kissed him as if the world would end, it actually might he mused.

“I love you,” Dean growled as he tore at Cas’ shirt.

“I love you too.”

Their clothes were stripped and draped all over the room as Dean pushed him towards the bed.

“I want you… so bad Cas… I’m throbbing. I need you to fuck me.” The expression in his eyes was all lust, pure, desperate lust.

Cas dick twitched at the request and he groaned.

“Anytime…”

The room was hot as they hit the sheets and the sweat had their bodies sliding together. Dean groaned as Cas took his cock in his hand. Then Cas reached for the lube and Dean shook his head.

Kissing hard, Dean's eyes flashed green, “I’m ready.”

The full body shudder had Cas almost came right there, his gaze widened with surprise.

Dean kissed him deeply and laughed, “I can make my body do all sort of interesting things now.”

“That is so hot,” Cas growled as Dean lay on his back.

Kissing his man he reached for the slick tight bud. Cas gasped and his cock kicked hard with arousal, with no preamble began to push his thick dick inside Dean’s ass.

“Oh, Cas…” Dean’s eyes fluttered closed for a long moment.

Cas was overwhelmed with feeling as every inch drove into Dean’s tight hole. He hissed as it caressed him, and when he opened his eyes Dean was smiling.

“What?” he whispered.

“Your wings, they're amazing and so soft.”

Cas hadn’t realised what he’d done. Wrapped around the love of his life were huge black, down-soft feathers. They caressed Dean’s skin and he rolled them over so Cas was underneath.

“Rub them over my skin as I fuck myself on you?” He asked with a whine.

Cas grinned and obliged as Dean slid his ass down the rest of Cas’ length.

“Fuck… Dean… fuck…”

“I know… Jesus.”

Every time Dean slid up, Cas caressed his skin with his wings and Dean convulsed. The effect on his cock was like nothing he’d ever felt and his back arched from the bed. Dean’s eyes were shining with green light, they were mesmerising.

Cas ran his hands over Deans shoulders as he leaned forwards. They were both encased in the darkness of his wings. Dean looked up in awe, “Cas they have the constellations on them…”

He slid slowly back down and Cas lost the ability to speak as his eyes rolled back in his head.

Dean whispered his name over and over as he impaled himself. Cas could feel Dean everywhere, under his wings, under his skin. The emotions washed back and forth stroking his own, he experienced everything and it was insane. More than ever before the barriers that made them two separate beings fell and they were one. Perfect, complete, one.

“I can feel you…” Dean groaned and Cas knew exactly what he meant.

Sliding his hand between them he took Dean's throbbing cock in his hand.

His lover hissed, head falling back with rapture. Once recovered dean leaned in and kissed him hard.

“Tighter.”

Cas grinned and tightened his fingers.

“Tighter”

With wide eyes and reluctance, he did as he was asked but this should hurt beyond what Dean was happy to take.

“God powers are awesome.” he sighed as he resumed his pounding.

“Shit.” Cas groaned he felt a push inside him as if Dean had flicked a switch and the orgasm flooded him. Wave after wave of pure rapture consumed him, mind, body and soul. He was drowning in it,

“Oh shit.” Dean groaned as his own release shoved him shuddering over the edge. It was amazing; Cas felt every second and then something strange. Dean's eyes lit green once more.

“Cas, your eyes, they're glowing… your wings…”

He took a second between waves of heavy panting to watch. The stars that were ordinarily white flecks on the feathers were glowing brightly from the darkness of his wings.

“That's amazing” his boyfriend whispered as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yeah.”

Dean stopped twitching after a few seconds and watched more intently. Reaching out he touched a constellation and in a flash, the room faded away and Ursa Minor enveloped them.

“Holy shit”

“Holy shit indeed,” Cas added.

He could still feel the bed, they hadn't left the room but Cas was seeing stars.

“Hello, Little Bear….” Dean whispered as he pulled his hand from Cas wing. A second later they were back and staring at a landscape painting on bare scarlet walls.

“Woah”

“That was amazing”.

Dean rolled from him and the lay in a sweaty heap for several minutes.

“We should go…”

“Yeah…”

Cas kissed him hard and deep, all tongue and teeth.

“You're everything to me.”

“Same” Dean grinned.

Cas rolled his eyes, “Come on fearless leader. We have an almighty mess to resolve.”

Dean groaned and went limp on the sheets. Cas smiled, yep still Dean.


	26. History Repeating

They were all set for multiple incursions ten minutes later. 

Cas and Dean walked into the room throwing glances and smiles at each other. 

“We don’t need to ask what you two were up to, do we?” B laughed.

Dean glared at him, “Wings working yet B?” 

“Fuck you, Dean.” 

Laughing he crossed to his seat at the large table where everyone was congregating. 

“We're ready.” Rowena interrupted.

“What’s the end game?” Bobby asked.

Dean considered it and how this could play out, “Keep Lucifer in Hell. Destroy Adam; restore Michael and get my parents back from Crowley. Hopefully, God can take care of himself.” 

Everyone exchanged glances as Dean pulled out his MOL phone. The team leader confirmed they were good to go. 

“We’re a go,” Dean said and they all moved. 

“Are we taking anyone else with us?” Cas asked. 

Dean shook his head, “I think we have this, especially now I know what I’m doing with these powers, mostly. You wouldn’t believe the shit I can do and I've only scratched the surface.” 

“I would.” Cas grinned, “You’re already amazing to me.”

Dean felt warm and considerably calmer than he should with the circumstances. Grabbing Rowena's potion for Micheal, he rolled his shoulders to relax some of the lingering tension. 

“Okay, let's go.” 

Cas nodded, they vanished and reappeared in Michael's chamber. It was the standard white of the other spaces in Heaven. This is where Dean had been dropped after his kidnapping. 

“Finally.” Adam hissed as he appeared from behind the wall. 

Dean growled but tried to keep his temper under control. The mental manual advised that high-stress situations would kick off his stronger powers. Time travel was one of them and using it again this soon would knock him out for days. There was a side note from God, it felt like an annotation, NB: keep this to a minimum or I’ll have to intervene. He considered it a warning that he would happily heed. Time travel was crazy as the terminator movies demonstrated. 

“Adam. Brother.” Dean said with a tight and dangerous smile.

“How?” The shorter man fumbled, Dean had thrown him off balance. 

“Let's just say we’ve been here before.” 

“I don’t…”

“I know you don’t understand and that's sad for you.”

Adam scowled, “You won’t be laughing when my Angel puppet finds your parents' soul's Dean.”

“Unless Michael can stay unseen in Hell, he won't have any luck at all,” Cas added with a smile. 

The younger man grabbed his head as he doubled over in pain, “What did you do?”

Dean played with his new powers to check what was happening down on earth, ’Jesse,’ he thought at the half-demon. 

‘Dean?’ he replied in his mind, he could feel Jesse's shock and awe. 

‘Everything okay down there?’ 

‘Secure sir, the cage is locked and we’ve thrown away the key.’

‘Well done, see you back at base’

‘Sir’

That felt a little weird but Dean had nothing to compare it too so he dismissed it.

The exchange took a few seconds and then Dean’s face split in a shit-eating grin, “I don’t think Lucy is coming Adam… boohoo.”

“I don’t know how you did that but… I… I don’t care… your parents are still dead and I’ll find them one day.”

“No, you won’t,” Dean whispered with menace as he reached out his hand. 

“Your eyes!” Adam yelled, “What are you?”

“Your worst fucking nightmare.”

Dean didn’t move other than to turn his hand and flick his finger towards him. Adam flew forwards, skidding across the floor and falling to his knees. 

“Wait! That’s not possible the sigils -”

“They don’t work on a Demi-God, ass hole.”

“A what?” he spat, “No you’re human… Lucifer said-”

“Lucifer has been in Hell, in a cage, since the dawn of time. He knows shit all.”

“Please… Dean-” Adam begged as the look on Dean’s face became something terrible.

“What?”

“I’m your brother.”

“No, you’re the person who did their best to keep me away from Cas. You have been torturing my father for a decade-”

“He deserved it!” Adam growled.

Dean tilted his head, “Maybe, maybe not but you’re done.”

“My Mom is dead because of him!” Adam yelled, anger filling his features.

“She’s dead because she made a deal with the devil. You killed both of my parents, so we’re even.” 

Dean felt Cas’ shock at his flippant comment but Dean was feeling anything but flippant. Twisting his wrist Adam gasped and fell to the floor, his neck snapped like a twig. 

“Dean did you-”

Green glowing eyes turned on his angel, “Yes, now it's over and we need to go find Michael before he finds my parents.”

Cas nodded and Dean could feel how unsure he was, leaning in he kissed him lightly on his soft lips, “I’m still me Cas.”

The Angel nodded, “Okay. Let's go.”

Dean placed his hand on Cas shoulder and concentrated on Michael. The Archangel was on a rampage through Hell but Crowley’s minions had him surrounded. They beamed into the battle as Michael decided to take on four high-level demons at once. 

“It’s the Winchester and his feathery sidekick,” Crowley exclaimed as he watched his people get sliced and diced by Michael.

Dean rolled his eyes, “We have a cure for his, well, this.” He pointed at the fight.

“Be my guest.” Crowley gestured with his hand at the mayhem that was ensuing. 

“Cas?” Dean asked, "I’m going to pause them, do it fast okay, it won't hold long.”

Cas nodded. 

Dean focused, the wave of power rose through him and he knew his eyes were glowing. The demons and Michael froze. Cas disappeared and was throwing Rowena’s potion at his brother within a second. The pressure in Dean’s chest was growing, he couldn’t maintain it. They were strong beings and even with his power it was hard work. The pressure reached its peak and he had to drop it, “Cas, move.”

Everything slowed down and not because Dean willed it this time. Cas turned away and as he blinked out the Archangel finished the move into the demon he’d been aiming for. The blade sliced straight through the air where Cas was standing. When his love reappeared next to him he fell to a heap on the floor. 

“Cas!” Dean screamed as he dragged the Angel's body into his arms. 

“Dean…” Cas whispered as he touched the deep bleeding slice in his chest. It lit up white as his grace started to fade. Dean could feel every moment of Cas' agony as if it were his own.

“No… no…no…” Dean's heart was racing, a scream crawling its way up his throat, he turned to Michael, "Fix this."

“I cannot, it's an angel blade. Stop thinking like a human Dean,” Michael said as he walked over seeming a little dazed. 

The Demi-God growled at him but something clicked in his mind. That mental manual Chuck had created flicked to an earmarked page. He placed his hand over the tear in Cas’ chest, ‘Heal’ he whispered inside his head and it did. The wound began to close and Cas’ colour warmed. 

“Oh thank god…” Dean sighed. 

“It’s a little egotistical to thank yourself don’t you think?” Crowley added as he watched with interest.

Dean ignored him.

“Thank you… I should have been faster.” Cas added once he could move. 

“I love you, stop doing that!” 

Cas smiled, “Okay Dean.”

Their lips met in a frenzy of kisses and Dean lost himself for a long minute. The pounding in his chest started to calm, he reminded it that Cas was here, he was alive. 

“As much as I love watching my little brother be molested, and I do, don’t misunderstand me... I would rather not be in this filthy hovel any longer than it is strictly necessary.” The angel straightened his grey suit which was like something out of a 1920’s gangster movie. 

“Crowley, the box,” Dean asked. 

“Fine.” The demon snapped his fingers and it appeared. Dean took it and could feel the power of the souls within. 

“Thank you.” 

“I would say it was a pleasure but I’d be lying. Look at this mess!” Crowley yelled, “… it’s not like you’re going to-”

Dean thought about the corpses being gone and then they were, “Don’t say I never did anything for you demon.” Then pulled Cas to his feet and looked at Michael, “We’re going back to the bunker, you good?”

The Archangel nodded, “Yes Mr.Winchester. Cas, are you whole?”

Cas nodded, “Yes brother, do you feel well?”

Dean always thought it was funny how Cas switched to more formal speak when he was around his siblings. It was like wearing old clothes or picking up an accent you thought you’d lost. 

“Yes, the spell has reversed. I don’t remember much of what happened, however, I do know I owe some of our sibling's apologies. We also have some warding to do, this will not be happening again.” He frowned and his bright brown eyes focused on his sibling, “We will see you up their soon with those souls I expect?”

It wasn’t a request and Cas glanced at Dean who answered, “I will bring my parents when I am ready.”

Michael smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, “Very well, until then.” Then he was gone.

“Let's go home,” Cas whispered wrapping his arm around Dean’s waist. 

Dean nodded and blinked them out, when had he started doing that? He'd mull it over once they landed back in the bunker. Sam, Charlie and Gabe ran to them. The hugs were well received and B blinked in shortly after. 

“The teams are back and almost everyone is in one piece…” B announced to the room. 

Dean frowned, losses of any kind were not acceptable and he felt sick, “Who?”

B glanced at Jack who sat just out of earshot, “Maybe we should discuss this elsewhere…”

Oh no… no… the room started to spin. That weird feeling was... oh no. 

Jack caught it and was on his feet before Dean could say a word, “Where is Jesse?”

B glanced at the young man who was as much his family as Dean was with sad eyes. Balthazar didn’t do tender very often but as Jack processed the look on the Angel's face he became angry.

“Where is Jesse, B!” he yelled. 

Dean glanced at the B and frowned as he answered, “Infirmary but Jack-”

It was too late he was out the door. 

“Cas I have to-” he pushed the gold box at his love. 

“We’ll follow, go” he replied taking it.

Dean blinked out and beat jack by seconds to Jesse’s bedside. Rowena intercepted her son at the end of the bed, the blond ball of rage screamed at her to let him go. 

Rowena wrapped her tiny frame around her boy and whispered into his hair. Jack fell to his knees on the hard marble floor. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he stared at the cold still body of his love. Jesse lay prone on the medical bed as Dean moved over to his side.

“He’s gone, Jacky… I’m so sorry my boy…” His Mom whispered.

“How?” Dean asked, “He’s half demon… how?”

“One of the demons, they had a knife, it was magic… I couldn’t counter it in time. I’m so sorry Jack.” She said as tears filled her eyes for her son's loss. 

Dean sat at Jesse’s bedside and took the boys hand. He was a year older than Jack, sixteen… a spark hit his fingers as their skin touched. Dean focused on that spark, what was that?

‘Dean?’ Jesse’s voice spoke in his head.

Dean felt the shock on his face, ‘Jesse. Where are you?’

‘It’s dark here Dean… what is that light? Is that you?’

‘Walk towards my voice Jesse’ Dean reassured the boy and then he thought, ‘heal’. 

Dean pulled Jesse’s soul up from the depths of near death, so close there was a reaper waiting over his shoulder.

“Close one there Winchester.” The short black man laughed, “I’ll have to be quicker next time.”

Dean smiled but didn’t reply, it would have just looked like he was talking to himself. Jesse filled his body out and gasped. 

“Jesse!” Jack screamed and leapt to his feet, throwing himself onto his boyfriend. 

Dean rubbed the boys back as Jack embraced him. “Can someone make sure the Turners know that Jesse is alive and well, please?”

Rowena stood opened mouthed at the end of the bed but nodded. 

Jack kissed Jesse hard and Dean grinned. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Jack said as he rolled from the mattress and embraced his godfather.

“Anytime Jacky.” 

"Thank you, Dean," Jesse said, still looking paler than normal. 

He nodded pulled away and Jack went back to hugging his boyfriend. 

Cas stood by the door and Dean grabbed him around the waist, “I love you. Can we go home?”

“Yes, Dean.” 

It took an hour to debrief and get the things together, there wasn’t a lot. Anna went back to heaven with their thanks and a promise to visit soon. They’d only packed lightly for New York and most of their things were at the house so there wasn’t a lot to take. Dean told Row and Bobby to stay here and hold the fort. With Jesse’s near miss everyone was a little delicate so they agreed without a fight. 

Cas and Dean had the house to themselves for a few hours later that day. B and Charlie decided to go for a walk and Gabe and Sam went to the cinema for some escapism. Cas had passed out on the couch. It looked like the human sleeping thing was taking longer to disappear than they thought. Dean decided to spend the time outside alone to think everything over. He was trying to find a way to contact Chuck to see if he had escaped the spell that Lucifer had devised. Praying had been fruitless but he kept trying. The other thing, well, that was staring at him from the table. He filled with tears as he gazed at the gold box. Grief rolled through him, he needed to take them back to Heaven but it was the hardest thing ever. 

A soft cough sounded from behind him and Dean spun, “Chuck!” he exclaimed as the deity crossed the yard to him. 

“Dean.” He walked over and embraced him.

Dean froze, what did you do when God hugged you? 

“Hug him back?” Chuck said. 

Dean laughed and did just that. 

“You saved all the bacon, not just mine, thank you.”

“Well, I- you know-”

“No, you really did. That spell, I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t know my son was so…”

“Evil?” Dean offered and Chuck simply shrugged. 

“Maybe.” They crossed the grass to a bench and sat, “Also, thank you for saving Jesse, Jack will need him.”

Dean stared, “What?”

“Jesse, he’s Jack guardian... half demon.” He laughed. 

“That’s a thing?”

Chuck shrugged again, “It is now.”

“Wow.”

“I know, It’s an interesting concept but Jack will need help with his powers and Jesse has had his from birth. He has excellent control.”

“Powers? What?”

Chuck frowned, "Jack is a Nephilim. Couldn’t you- No, I suppose you wouldn’t be looking at his aura.”

“Jacky is half -angel?” Dean was in awe. 

“Yes, he is Lucifer’s son.”

“What!” 

“Don’t worry, his human mother was his biggest influence and she was one of my favourites. A very kind soul.”

Dean didn’t know whether to be relieved or throw up.

“Please don’t…” Chuck ordered with a grin. 

“Okay…” he sat stunned and tried to process all the new information, failing miserably. 

“So, everything seems wrapped up here. How are you doing with your powers?” Chuck asked.

Dean considered it, “Good, I don’t think I’ll use them much.” Then eyed the box and remembered, “I was waiting for you so that I could give you these personally. I’d feel better if you returned my parents souls to heaven.”

Chuck smiled, “Do you know how incredibly dumb you can be sometimes Dean?”

“Huh?” he said with a frown. 

“I’ll let you think it over, speak to Gabriel. In the meantime give my love to the family.”

Dean was left staring at the gold box as Chuck vanished. Dumb? Really? He walked to the pool and dropped down so that his feet could sit in the warm water while he mulled it over. Having no luck he called Gabe in his mind expecting him to be a while but he came instantly. 

“Dean?” The Archangel asked as he joined him, “We were in a double feature, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, do you have a second?”

“Sure let me go tell Sammy.” Gabe vanished and then reappeared a second later. He removed his shoes and sat with his jeans rolled up and feet in the water. 

“You really do have a crush on me huh?” Dean joked. 

Gabe blushed, “Maybe.” Then added quickly, “Don’t tell Sammy.”

“Pretty sure he knows dude.” 

“Shit…” 

“He knows you love him, it not his fault I’m prettier.” 

Gabe punched him and Dean laughed, “Joking… maybe.”

“Dick.” Gabe threw him a flirtatious glance and it made Dean mildly uncomfortable. That made Gabe laugh harder. “What do you need?”

“Chuck was here.” Dean started, “He said to give you his love.”

“Me specifically?” Gabe smiled.

Dean returned it, “No, everyone but he said I should speak to you.”

“About?”

“Them.” Dean pointed to the box.

“Ah. I thought you were giving them to Chuck?” 

“He wouldn’t take them, said I should speak to you.”

Gabe frowned and then closed his eyes.

Cas appeared, “Gabe? Dean… What’s wrong?”

“You called him?” Dean asked and Gabe nodded.

“Chuck came, he wouldn’t take the Winchesters and said Dean needed to talk to me. I’m not sure why.”

Cas walked over and rolled his sweats up so he could sit next to his love and frowned, “Hmmm. While the souls are on earth they’re simply light.”

“So why wouldn’t he take them?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Can we speak to them or anything?” Dean asked.

“we can’t speak to them because they don’t have their vessel's anymore and no one but Chuck has the-” Cas went wide-eyed. 

“What?” Dean asked excited at the expression on Cas’ face. 

“That smart ass…” Gabe started as he met Cas’ gaze.

“While the souls are here, they’re out of Heaven's jurisdiction,” Cas replied. 

“If someone had the power to create something from nothing and someone else had godlike reanimation powers… well then theoretically the soul’s could be raised from the dead.”

“Like zombies?” Dean exclaimed horrified.

Gabe and Cas laughed, “No.” 

“Like brought back. Human and whole,” Cas replied and kissed Dean’s cheek. 

“WAIT!” Dean froze, “You’re saying that Gabe still has his trickster powers?”

Gabe grinned, “Dad hid them from me for a while but yeah they’re still here.”

“So… we can…” Dean stared at the gold box.

“Yes, Dean” Cas whispered.

“Okay, how?”


	27. Epilogue  - It's all alright in the end

“Dean if I miss the trailers I am going to kill you,” Cas whined. 

“I know you don’t understand why I need both popcorn and milk duds but I do.”

Cas rolled his eyes as Dean’s phone rang. 

“Let me get this.” He pulled it out and answered, “Mom?”

Cas listened in, “No, Mom… I get it but he can’t live in the pool house forever.”

This was the same argument they’d been having for the last three weeks. John had been relegated to the pool house for the affair. Which seem mild as a punishment for their traumatic but all be it temporary deaths. Dean and Gabe had resurrected them with no issues and John had explained everything to do with Adam. The fight had started immediately. Mary was livid and had punched him in the face, rightly so, however, she had also told him to go live in the pool house. That was fine during summer and fall but winter was closing in and it was getting cold in there. Dean wanted him to go live at the New York bunker for a while but Mary thought hypothermia was a more suitable punishment for his crime. Cas couldn’t disagree with her, John had a lot to atone for. Charlie wasn’t speaking to him and hadn’t even while home for summer. Sam hadn’t returned any of John calls and he and Gabe had spent summer in the Caymans. Dean and Cas were the only ones being civil and Cas still couldn’t figure out why that was. 

“Mom, just… I know that… I don’t think he can be any sorrier Mom, I’m not taking his- Mom-” Dean stood staring at his phone blankly. 

“I told you not to get involved,” Cas said under his breath. 

Dean rolled his eyes, “She has to forgive him soon right?”

“No, he got them killed via his illegitimate son… pretty sure that’s a deal breaker.” Jack interrupted as he tugged Jesse behind him. 

“Don’t you start,” Dean replied as he wrapped his arm around the young man’s neck playfully. 

“Hey, Dean,” Jesse said blushing.

Cas smiled, the kid was hiding a huge crush for Dean which everyone but Jack was aware of. It would pass of course but it was still very cute. 

Dean’s hand was warm as Cas took it and the four of them made their way into the movie theatre. They were celebrating Jack’s birthday and he’d chosen the movie. Dean had his required moan about it but ultimately he’d caved; The Incredible’s 2 it was. 

 

It was actually pretty good, Cas laughed and Dean was hysterical. The complaining about Disney seemed to be a switch he couldn't turn off. It always amused Cas because Dean loved Disney. 

They went for a quick bite and then blinked back to the house in Massachusetts. Dean had been back at college for a few weeks and MOL was back under his parent's control. With all the madness over it had been nice to do normal things like study, worry about exams and catch up with everyone. They hadn't seen Meg and rumour was she'd quit after a severe breakdown, poor Meg. There had been no way to restore her memory, so the MOL had returned her to her dorm. Cas still felt bad for the whole thing even though it wasn't his fault. 

“Jack, you know if you sit there Dean will hang his feet in front of the TV.” Jesse laughed and Jack moved to the sofa so that Jesse could snuggle him.

 

Cas threw himself into the large snuggle chair, he and Dean fit, only just. It was tight but stopped Dean lounging and obstructing the view of whatever they decided to watch. This had become a Sunday night routine. Cas would call up Jack and Jesse who would come over and they would make a day of it then chill at home. Tonight was special because Jack had turned sixteen yesterday. 

“They’re doing that thing again,” Jack said as he looked at Cas. 

‘Cas? do you want salted or cheese?’ Dean spoke in his head. 

“What thing?” Jesse said.

‘Cheese’ Cas replied.

“Where they talk in each other heads.” Jack replied, “Do you think we will be able to do that?”

“Maybe.” Cas interrupted, “and we can still hear you.”

Jack blushed, “Sorry Cas.”

Dean walked in with snacks and the then froze, “Shit, forgot the beer.”

“I’ll get it yelled Jack.” He vanished and they all stared at the space where he had been until he reappeared with Dean’s beer.

“When-what-when…” Jesse started.

“What he said,” added Dean.

“This morning!” I blinked to the bathroom, “Cool huh!”

“Very cool!” yelled Jesse, "We can both do it now, so cool!" 

Cas was still in shock, “Does your Mom know?”

Jack nodded, “Yeah, she’s got a plan to help me learn about it and stuff.”

“Good.” Dean added, “It’s awesome Jacky, really.”

“I might even be more powerful than you one day Dean.”

Dean laughed, “Nope, not happening.”

Jack laughed, “We’ll have to arm wrestle.” 

They all laughed as some dating show started on the TV. Cas and Dean argued over the remote for five minutes, eventually settling on a cowboy movie that Dean wanted to watch. 

The time flew and before Cas knew it the boys were blinking themselves back to the bunker. He watched Dean yawn and was a little envious.

Dean smiled as he felt it, “I’m sorry you can’t sleep anymore, babe.” 

Cas shrugged, “It’s fine I’ll just make sure you stay awake with me.”

Dean growled and pulled Cas in close as he crossed the lounge. His man took his face in his hands and kissed him hard. Cas nipped and licked at Dean’s mouth, those full pouting lips were mocking him with their perfection. 

“Are you hating on my lips again Angel.” Dean panted as he met Cas forehead with his. 

“No. Maybe.” He huffed, “Nothing should be that perfect.”

Dean grinned, “They’re also really talented, wanna see?”

Cas sighed as his already hard cock twitched at the smile, “Obviously Dean.”

Dean laughed and closed his eyes in a second they were on the dark side of the moon, they were surrounded by space. 

Cas could still feel the hardwood floor under his feet but the projection felt real too. It was so weird. Dean sighed, the hardwood turned into carpet and Cas knew they were in the bedroom, he could see the outline of the bed as he fell back onto it. 

“I love you Cas,” Dean whispered as he crawled up the bed, as he crept through space towards him. 

“I love you too.” 

The kisses recommenced. Cas melted into the moment as he and Dean began to make love amongst the stars. 

 

-Fin-

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading. Check out my other works and Tumblr for Destiel original trash and other fun things. https://redheadshenanigans.tumblr.com
> 
> This work is dedicated to the awesome loon who sent me the prompt: Sarah, R. I love you. Thank you for inspiring my muse. I hope it's everything you wanted. 
> 
> I also want to shout out to my dedicated readers, you're all amazing. Thank you for your constant posts both on here and Tumblr, I never get bored of reading your feedback, or comments no matter how many times you add them. All feedback, even ones about spelling ( I'm human, it happens) are gratefully received and also continuity errors, let me know they drive me insane. lol
> 
> And once you're done with mine please Check out these peeps:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielsHeart/pseuds/CastielsHeart  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castielslostwings/pseuds/Castielslostwings  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennifer2018/pseuds/Jennifer2018


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